Trying to do a little self-analysis here, mainly thinking out loud, so bear with me.
This morning I weighed in at 170 pounds*. I’ve gained back a lot of the weight in the last 6 months. I think there are 2 things contributing to this, one outside of me, the other inside of me.
Thing #1 – I have some “issues” with a coworker which started back in February. It is very awkward and uncomfortable being around this coworker and I try to avoid him as much as possible. When I am at work, I feel a low level of stress ALL THE TIME. I don’t know how to resolve this issue without quitting my job, and honestly right now I cannot afford to quit. I think this has something to do with my binge eating for the last few months and the subsequent weight gain.
Thing #2 – Working backwards here, I’ve been bingeing a lot, eating things that I normally would not touch with a ten foot pole. I feel bloated, tired, sluggish. I have a sort of attitude where food is concerned which I think can be attributed to my lack of exercise. I haven’t exercised in months. I still think of exercise as a weight-loss activity instead of an antidepressant-mood-lifting-self-esteem-building activity. I think it would do me a world of good to sweat out the stress and anxiety I’ve been feeling – use exercise as a way to deal instead of a way to burn calories. I love yoga, but it’s not the sweaty steady movement kind of yoga, it’s more about technique and doing the poses separately. Zumba class starts next Tuesday, but I think I might start walking or getting on the elliptical this week because I need the brain boost NOW.
I’m toying with logging my food, but that always seems to lead me into CrazyDietLand, so I’m really hesitant to do that. I”m really fighting the urge to take action NOW – jump headfirst into a PLAN! and get these pounds off. However, I want to do things differently, so I guess that means being patient and working on the emotional stuff. I do think some cardio would be good for me, so I’m going to try and do that this week.
*I’ve decided to weigh myself once a week on Mondays, yes Mondays so I can get a true assessment of just how much damage I’m doing to myself.