The Sassy Pear

Finding my way through my forties

Bonus Post: A good quote — July 25, 2019

Bonus Post: A good quote

I don’t consider myself to be a cynic, but the notion of a soulmate has always bugged me. I just don’t believe that there is ONE person out there for everyone – I think location, time, and circumstance all contribute to who we fall in love with. So when I read this quote today from Belinda Luscombe, her definition of a soulmate is definitely something I can live with:

We don’t find soulmates, like some fantastic shell on the beach. We become them. And as we do, the other person becomes ours. One of us is the waves and the other is the sand, and together we make the beach, changing the shape and passage of the other and maybe even bringing some amazing conches to the surface alongside the seaweed and knotted fishing wire.

We become the soulmates we need for each other.

One of us is waves and the other is sand, and together we make the beach. I just love that.

You can find Belinda Luscombe’s book here.

beach foam landscape nature
Photo by Pixabay on
The stress is stressing me out — January 18, 2011

The stress is stressing me out

A sad face.
Image via Wikipedia

So – lots to talk about today so I’ll just jump right in…

My husband has taken a job in another state where he’ll be working on the road for the next 6-8 weeks. This stresses me out to no end.  While I’m thankful for the opportunity to earn some income during this cold, dreary winter, I rely on my husband a lot for the day-to-day things, and plus I just like having him around. I think the hardest part for me is not knowing when or if he’ll be able to come home during that time. He might come home in 3 days, or he might not come home until spring.  He’ll find out more when he goes to the main office tomorrow, but for right now, it’s really creating a lot of anxiety for me… and can you see where this is going? Although we’ve known for a couple of weeks that he would be going, yesterday the anxiety came welling up from inside and would not be stopped. I was ravenous when I got home and so I had a good old fashioned binge. I couldn’t get the food in my mouth fast enough. I didn’t even go to Boot Camp last night because I was just in such a funk that I couldn’t make myself go, even though it’s probably the one thing that would have helped me release some of this anxiety. Hindsight, and all – whaddya gonna do?   I went and laid down on my bed hoping that a little nap and a self pep talk would help me calm down. It didn’t. I slept a little but I didn’t really feel better. I managed to get through the evening and then at bedtime, in the dark and the quiet, it all came out. I started crying. I couldn’t help it and then I couldn’t stop it. My husband finally said, “Jill I’m not going off to WAR!!” Can you imagine what a mess I would be if he WAS going to war?  We talked for a while and I cried a little more, and then I finally fell asleep. Today I feel a lot better – I think I just needed to get it out. I’m still anxious about his leaving, but ultimately it will be a good thing for our family. Also I plan on using the time he is away to get into a regular work out routine and start experimenting with some healthier meals – maybe when he gets back his wife will be a wee bit thinner!

Another reason I didn’t go to Boot Camp is because yesterday I finally felt pain-free. For 2 weeks now, I’ve had sore muscles – a knot in my back by my shoulder blade, a pulled groin muscle, and a pull quad muscle. You know how “they” always say that you should ease into exercise and not try to jump into anything too strenuous for fear of injury? Yeah, well they were right. I’m out of my league with Boot Camp, but since there are only 3 classes left, I’m going to finish them. I doubt I will sign up for another round, at least not yet. There is a Zumba class on Tuesday and Thursday night that I think I would enjoy a little more – that might be my next foray into fitness.

Something else that I have been wrestling with is the need to jump on a weight loss bandwagon. All the talk about the new WW program has me thinking that maybe I should start tracking my food. I’ve been toying with counting calories or points or doing something along those lines. I feel a quiet desperation to do SOMETHING to help this weight come off, and exercise alone I’m afraid is not going to cut it. The only problem is, counting calories makes me crazy!! So it’s crazy that I would even think of doing that, right? But then when I think back to all the times I tried counting calories, I wonder if maybe my calorie goal was too low. Let’s face it, I’m kind of a big girl now, and 1200 calories isn’t enough for me. Maybe if I shoot for something like 1700-1800,  I would feel a little more in control? I don’t know – some of you have been with me for awhile – what do you all think? I need some perspective here, so be honest with me please.

I think I have more to write, but I’m running out of time.  Wish me luck – and send me lots of non-crying vibes!  🙂


Reunited (and it feels so good) — September 26, 2008

Reunited (and it feels so good)

This post has nothing to do with exercising or losing weight or food or any of that, so if you want to skip it, go ahead.  You won’t hurt my feelings.


The hubs and I have hit a rough patch the last few weeks (months) and things were getting pretty tense and miserable at the homestead.  Things finally came to a head early this week and we had a good fight, then a good talk, and then we kissed and made up, and kissed and made up some more ;). 


The problem?  A very common one – we took each other for granted, and stopped putting each other first.  He was caught up in his work and his hobbies, and I was caught up in work and the kids and the house and the laundry and church and everything else.  I had thrust him to the bottom of my list and thought he was okay with that.


He wasn’t. 


Like I said, we had a good talk and made some compromises, and promised each other that we would make time for us.  I get the kids to bed a little earlier in the evening and he has cut back on his hobbies, and it has made all the difference in the world. Remembering that we are still a couple within a family has helped us reconnect on a deeper level.


My point in mentioning this is to remind all of you to not take for granted the ones you love.  We’ve all heard it before, but I think we need a reminder once in a while.  Do something nice for your husband and see if it doesn’t affect you as well.  It makes everything seem a little easier when you remember that the one you love is on your side in the midst of the chaos. 

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