Nearly a year ago , I wrote these words:
I really think that if I could learn to live without sugar, I’d be golden. But the thought of giving up sugar sends me into a near panic. I’m serious – whenever I read literature about giving up sugar entirely I can feel the anxiety rising in my chest and my pulse quickens. Cutting out sugar and sweets and junk food is almost a foreign concept to me – I can’t quite wrap my brain around it, and I’m not sure I really want to. This sounds weird to say, but I feel like sugar is part of my identity. Being a sugar-holic is a big part of who I am. Other people may not see it, but I know it. Sweets bring me more joy than I would care to admit. Isn’t that sad?
Yes, it is sad. But I think know that I am moving forward because I am ready to cut back on the sugar. I AM READY. I’ve downloaded this ebook and I’ve been keeping a log of sugar triggers. I wrote about it over on iChange and this is what I wrote:
I’ve been keeping a log of things that trigger my sweet tooth and things that don’t. It’s interesting because I’ve discovered that regardless of how much sugar is in something, it’s the TASTE of sweetness that seems to affect me. For example, milk chocolate sends me straight into sugar orbit, but I’m totally fine with one piece of dark chocolate. Peanut M&M’s make me want to dive into the bag and live there forever, but graham crackers are pretty safe for me. The sweeter something tastes, the more I want it. This is one reason I don’t think artificial sweeteners work for me – the high level of sweet taste for me is the trigger. I’m still working on my list, but I thought it was interesting that I’ve learned this already after just a few days of tracking.
This is really helping me also with learning to live in a balance. I’m such an all-or-nothing person – either I will eat all the sugar in the world, or I will let myself have none of it EVER!! I’m such an extremist!! I think this is going to be a good exercise in moderation and learning to trust my body with what it can handle and what it can’t.
I’ve been laying the ground work for going sugarless (not sure if I need to be sugar-free yet) for awhile by doing the 10 Day Challenge last month and keeping this trigger log. I feel completely calm and really okay with letting go of the sugar, not like I felt last year at this time. I think that’s a big step forward. Trying to take things slowly, and not jumping in with both feet I hope will make this change stick. I’m ready to move forward.