The Sassy Pear

Finding my way through my forties

I want to be the kind of woman who… — May 10, 2013

I want to be the kind of woman who…

…can look at the perfectly formed mound of buttercream frosting sitting atop a spongy cupcake and not be deeply and emotionally affected by it. 

…wakes up at 5:00 a.m. with sleepy determination to kick out an intensely sweaty but fulfilling workout six days a week and looks forward to it as much as she looks forward to her morning coffee. 

…stocks her fridge with heaping mounds of produce and uses it all before it goes bad.

…is satisfied with eating simple meals over and over again.

…can’t help checking the size of her guns in the reflection of every window she passes by. 

…can go into a restaurant and order the healthiest thing on the menu so that she won’t be in a carb coma for the next 4 days.

…is tight and toned and healthy and relatively happy and somewhat stable in her moods. 

…someone who gets off and STAYS OFF this damned roller coaster known as “losing weight”. 

I’m tired of the fight y’all. I’m tired of trying to do things my way and wondering why I can’t lose weight. I’m tired of being my own worst enemy. I thought that Weight Watchers would help me set some boundaries with food, but I just wonder if I don’t need tighter boundaries. It’s something I’m trying to figure out and when I do, I’ll let you know. 

 

 

What’s the plan, Stan? — February 20, 2013

What’s the plan, Stan?

I intended to write this post on Monday, but I was off work Monday and the day seemed to go by really fast (how come it doesn’t go that fast when I’m at work?) and I just never got it done. Actually the whole weekend went by in a blink. I feel like I had a one night stand with the 3 day weekend: “You’re…you’re leaving? already? But I thought we had something special here!!” Oh well, it’s not the first wham-bam-thank-you-ma’am I’ve ever had and probably won’t be the last (I’m talking weekends here, not actual real life one night stands…I’m not that kind of girl. Not since I got married anyway, *ahem*).

MOVING ON.

So I had a bit of a gain at my last weigh in, but I totally expected it and I’m not upset about it. I was up 1.2 pounds from my previous weigh in and in looking back over the week, I realized something interesting. I was comparing all my obstacles from my first week to all the obstacles last week and I realized that all those landmines I dodged so well the first week? It was because I could run away from them. I could put lots of physical distance between myself and the temptations that first week. Last week, however, all the temptations were in my close personal space. In my office, in my kitchen, RIGHT IN FRONT OF MY FACE. With my son’s birthday cake right in the middle of my kitchen, the kitchen I walk through 47 times a day, it was harder to ignore it than I anticipated. Must learn how to deal with cake. Another problem is my sweet elderly neighbor (he lives right across the street from my office) brought me at least 3 different treats last week.  I need to learn how to deal with the desserts he brings over – I need a plan, because I am NOT going to tell him that I don’t want them. It gives him great pleasure to bring us samples of things he and his wife have baked, and to tell him I don’t want them seriously hurts his feelings. His wife’s health is declining rapidly and I am not going to be rude to this man who is about to lose his wife of nearly 60 years (her only goal at this point is to live until May so they can celebrate their 60th anniversary – so bittersweet!) just to save myself the worry of a few calories. I do however, need a plan that I can stick to when he does bring food over. I’m thinking I can give it to another coworker, I can take one bite (two bites if it’s really good) and then throw it away, or I can just throw it away without tasting it at all. I just need to decide what I’ll do and then stick to that.

The thing is, there will always be SOMETHING that is going to get in the way. The world is full of landmines and I think  my success is going to be determined by how well I deal with these landmines.

Do any of you have a plan for things like this? I’d love to hear from my maintainer-readers (Debby and Shelley I’m looking at you) on how you deal with temptations like I described. I know Mr. Brown is going to keep coming over with delectable desserts and I’ve got lots of birthdays/celebrations coming up in the next few months and I would love to have a plan in place. So what say you? Do you just wing it and hope for the best or do you Just Say No? Help a sistah out here!!

Monday Monday (ba da, ba da da da) — February 4, 2013

Monday Monday (ba da, ba da da da)

You’re welcome.Think Mama Cass ever had issues with Skinny Minny Michelle Phillips, there? I’ll bet Mama Cass wanted to punch her a time or two (or maybe that’s just me).

So it’s Monday (obviously. Why would put up that video on a Thursday?) and hey, guess what I did over the weekend?

I turned into Jennifer Hudson! I can now sing and act, so I won’t need this blog anymore to be my creative outlet. See ya, Suckahs!!

Okay, I lied.  I didn’t really turn into JenHud, but I joined Weight Watchers on Saturday because even though I was making a little bit of progress on my own, I realize I need a little bit extra help. And hey if Jennifer Hudson can shed her fabulously talented chub, so can I.

And now I’m debating on telling you what my beginning weight was on Saturday, because it’s a really high number and I’m super embarrassed that I let my fabulous self get so outta control. But heck, I bare everything else on this blog, why let a stupid number stop me now? So…my beginning weight at my first weigh in was…sheesh this is hard…my beginning weight was….*cough197cough*. For all intents and purposes, that’s 200 pounds, folks. I think I weigh the same amount as my 6’1″ husband (and hell no, I didn’t tell him. What am I, crazy? Don’t answer that.) No one who is 5’3″ should weight that much ever. EVER EVER EVER. So freaking unhealthy, but I’m going to change that. All I have to do is have faith in the program, just follow the program today, and it will all work out eventually.

How much do I hope to lose per week, you ask? (Thanks for asking, btw) At this point I’m aiming for a loss of .2 pounds per week. Yep that’s right – POINT TWO. I figure I can most likely lose that much and if I lose more than that, well that’s just a bonus. It might take me 2 years to get where I ultimately want to be, but that’s okay. That 2 years is going to pass regardless, so I might as well be losing instead of gaining.

This happens to me every single time. Just when I get started on losing weight, someone (usually the sweet old man across the street) brings me something like this:

It’s strawberry cake if you can’t tell. He just now brought it over – what do I do with it? It smells divine. I’m thinking I’ll take it to the break room and give it to one of the guys at lunch.

Okay I took one bite. It was…meh. Tasted like a box mix. I put the rest of it in the breakroom so someone can have the rest or if they don’t want it, I’ll chunk it.

So that’s my sitch. Looks like this might turn back into a weight loss blog after all. 🙂

No Weigh! — November 6, 2012

No Weigh!

Happy Election Day! Now get out there and VOTE! Kyra said this about voting:

Our system has problems and isn’t perfect, and we feel that one vote doesn’t matter – but it does. You matter. Go out and matter today.

(emphasis mine)

YOU. MATTER. Remember that.

**********

And now on to our regularly scheduled blog post.

I’m still scale-free! I haven’t weighed myself, although I’ve been tempted plenty of times. I’m curious to see if my weight has gone down, but also not curious at all because I know my body well enough to know what I weigh just by how I feel. Do you all do that too? Or is your weight a complete surprise when you get on the scale? Anyway, if I were to weigh myself now, and I was down a couple of pounds, I know exactly how it would play out: I would be happy that I’m making progress, and then I would get cocky and relax my efforts just ever so slightly, and then I would end up gaining a couple of pounds by next week. (I think I just figured out why I always bounce around between the same 3-5 pounds!)

By staying off the scale, I’m focusing more on how I feel. And right now I feel good – I’m eating well, sleeping GREAT (thank you Time Change!), and exercising regularly. If I were to jump on the scale, all the focus would be on the number, and frankly at this point in my progress there’s not a realistic number on there that I would be happy seeing, so I’ma just stay off for now. You know, I never used to think I was a slave to the scale – I always thought I was pretty neutral about it, but it turns out I wasn’t neutral at all. That number governed all my efforts, my mood, my choices – I let that number have a lot more control over me than I even realized. So staying off is a good thing for me right now.

You know that saying “If you always do what you’ve always done, you’ll always get what you’ve always gotten”? Well staying off the scale is just one way that I’m trying to do things differently, so I’ll get a different result. Right now my gauge is my stomach. I can see it getting just a teeny bit less pudgy every few days. I hope soon that I can use a belt or a pair of jeans as my gauge, and no I don’t think I want to use a tape measure because that’s just another number for me to get hung up on, ya know? So right now, I’m just eye-ballin’ it and I’m perfectly fine with that.

I’m actually having fun with my no-scale experiment, and as I said a few days ago, my plan is to weigh myself in January which is only about 8 weeks away. Piece of cake, baby! (Mmmm…cake.) 😉

What worked last week — October 8, 2012

What worked last week

Hey guys! How was your weekend?

I had what felt like a pretty successful week last week and decided I should jot down what I did so I can come back and reference it and maybe recreate it for this week. Also it might help someone else out there who is struggling, so here’s my helping hand:

  • Six small meals per day – instead of 3 big meals and a snack, I switched to 6 smaller meals and I really felt satisfied all day. Some of my meals included things like an apple with peanut butter, almonds with a banana, yogurt and fruit, a turkey burger on a sandwich thin, shaved ham/slice of cheese on a wasa cracker, or a protein bar. For dinners, I just ate a smaller portion of what we would normally eat, and really by dinner time I wasn’t ravenous like usual, just mildly hungry so I felt like I didn’t need as much anyway.
  • Water – still guzzling!
  • Wore my snug-fitting jeans. Wearing form-fitting jeans helps me remember that I can’t gorge myself because then my pants would be too tight. The waist on these is not tight – they don’t cut into me, so I’m not torturing myself wearing these jeans, and no they are not tight in the seat, I’m not walking around with a wedgie all the time, but they are just snug enough that it keeps me conscious of my goal (eating reasonable portions) at all times. Loose pants = I eat more. It’s science. Look it up. (okay don’t because I don’t know if it’s science or not. I just said that.)
  • I only weighed myself once. Normally I weigh myself every day and while I thought the numbers game didn’t play with head, apparently it really does. By not weighing myself every day, I was free to focus on how I felt – not how I should feel due to xxx number on the scale. For example, in the past if the number was up, I would try to eat very little or I would shame myself into not eating what I really wanted. If the number was down, I gave myself permission to indulge “just a little”. It was really liberating to not worry about all that – I just ate whatever sounded good to me from my little collection of healthy foods, and plus it was kind of a nice surprise when I finally did weigh myself on Saturday (I was down a little bit – woot!).

Those are the things that stood out to me the most last week. Of course I’m going to try and keep it going this week and hope I have a successful weigh in on Saturday, so we’ll see.

Talk at ya later!

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