The Sassy Pear

Finding my way through my forties

Very Best Self: Week 1 — July 8, 2019

Very Best Self: Week 1


So how did it go? Did you do the thing your VBS would do?

I did okay – my VBS thing was to get up a little earlier to fit in some exercise and other good things. I got up early Tuesday & Wednesday, then Thursday was the holiday so I didn’t have to get up early, and on Friday I got up and even had time to sit on the patio and enjoy my coffee. 🙂 I did a bonus workout on Sunday because my son and I planned on watching all of Season 3 of Stranger Things and then go see the new Spiderman movie, so I knew it would be a day of sitting. And it was, so I’m glad I got that workout in.

If you want to join us, it’s not too late! Just put it in the comments below – or not, you can keep this to yourself if you want to. 🙂

If you do feel like sharing your progress, leave it in the comments below. Tell me what worked or what didn’t work – maybe we can come up with a solution together to make it work for this week. 🙂

Please enjoy this inspiring photo of a sunrise because I’m in a hurry and couldn’t decide on an appropriate picture for this post. 

aerial photography of landscape with view of sunset
Photo by Tom Fisk on
No Sweat! – if you are not a fan of exercise, read this — June 24, 2015

No Sweat! – if you are not a fan of exercise, read this

For about the last six months or so, I have had the hardest time trying to get motivated to exercise. For awhile last year, I really got into doing Zumba, but then it became something I HAD to do, so I lost interest and I couldn’t find anything else that interested me enough to get up off the couch or out of bed in the morning to do it.

Then in mid-May I read a book called No Sweat by Michelle Segar, PhD, and it completely changed how I view exercise. Seriously, this book got me off the couch and working out regularly and I’ve been loving every minute of it.


I sort of expected this book to be another work out plan, but I was pleasantly surprised to find that it isn’t. Right off the bat, Segar declares that any and all activity counts as exercise. Wha??? That’s right – it ALL counts. As long as you are moving, you are in the game. Just finished scrubbing your bathroom for the last hour? Boom! You just did an hour of exercise. Took your dog for a walk? Pow! Exercise! And guess what? YOU get to decide what exercise means to you. If you hate the gym, you don’t have to ever set foot in one to get a healthy dose of exercise. If you like walking, then walk to your little heart’s content! Spending time in the garden is a great way to move your body as well! Find what you like to do…I mean really ENJOY doing, and then find ways to fit that into your day.

Segar’s approach is structured in MAPS, which stands for Meaning, Awareness, Permission, and Strategies. Here’s a brief overview of how each segment works:

Meaning: Here you are guided to figure out what exercise means to you and how you can change that meaning so that exercise becomes something you like doing. I talked to a young woman not long ago about working out and she was talking about how many miles a day she runs. I casually mentioned that I don’t particularly care for running when she yelled out “I EFFING HATE RUNNING! I REALLY REALLY HATE IT!” Concerned, I asked her why she does it then and she said it was because she felt like she had to run because that’s what you have to do to lose weight. I felt so bad for her! Conversely, I talked recently with another woman who said “after work, I like to run in the park because it helps me wind down and transition into evening. It really helps clear my head and I love it.” For her, it was an enjoyable experience. Same exercise, but two different meanings. The section in the book on meanings explores why we feel the way we do towards exercise and then guides the reader through questions that help achieve a new meaning. This chapter helped me to see that working out is a gift I can give to MYSELF – it’s something just for me that makes me feel better. It’s an hour of time that is MINE…and I now protect it without apology to anyone. This sentence was one of many light bulb moments for me: “…the messages that have been directing your exercise choices are pressuring you instead of fueling you.” When I stopped looking at working out as something I should be doing, it helped me realize that I actually do like working out – on my own terms. That’s the key for me. Finding your meaning for exercise gives you permission to work out on your own terms, in a way that feels good to you.

Awareness:  The section on awareness is all about doing what feels good. It’s about getting real and asking yourself, okay, what am I willing to do every day? What kind of activity will feel good to me and I will actually look forward to doing? Here’s the gist: As Gretchen Rubin says in The Happiness Project “The twenty minute walk that I do is better than the four-mile run that I don’t do.”* If you enjoy taking a walk after dinner because it gives you time to connect with your partner or your kids or your friend, you will be more willing to fit that into your day, rather than if you tell yourself you HAVE to do that DVD workout first thing in the morning (even after getting only 5 hours of sleep the night before). Which activity are you going to look forward to doing? But if you legitimately enjoy lifting the heaviest weight possible at the gym because it makes you feel like a BAMF, then that’s your jam! Get quiet with yourself, ask your body what activity would make it feel better, and then do that thing.

Permission: The next section is on Permission, and I’m sure by now you’ve heard that you can’t take care of anyone else if you don’t take care of yourself first. I used to hear that and think “yeah, yeah, it’s easy to say, but you don’t know my family and my schedule!” But listen well, ladies, because I’m finding out that it’s true. It’s counter-intuitive to think that the more I let myself do the things I love, the easier it is to care for my family, but that’s how it’s playing out in my own life. What that looks like is this – when I’m doing activities that I enjoy and doing them regularly, I am LESS RESENTFUL when my family asks me to do things for them. For so long (so, so long) I felt resentful towards my family for making me feel like I was pulled in 4 different directions – it ain’t pretty, but it’s the truth. I constantly felt like I was at the bottom of the list, and I was because I was putting myself there! In the last month that I’ve been working out regularly, I am more patient and less cranky because I take an hour after work to go to the gym and sweat and lift heavy things and dance and just bask in the tidiness and femininity of the area. And as I said earlier, I make no apologies for taking that time – my husband recognizes how much it helps me and not one single kid has complained that dinner is now an hour later than it used to be.

One of the topics I loved in this section was the Self-Care Hierarchy. Modeled after Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs, it asks what your absolute needs are when it comes to self care – what are the things that are important to you in feeling cared for? For me, my foundation is SLEEP. If I don’t get enough sleep, everything else is just wonky. You might be one of those people who can function perfectly fine on just a few hours of sleep (my husband is one of those people), so your foundation might be different. My next level up is SOLITUDE – I get cranky if I don’t get some alone time (and no, being at work by myself for 8 hours doesn’t count) – one of my favorite things to do is to flip through a magazine in the evenings when I’m alone in my room. The next level up for me is ACTIVITY – working out makes me feel more confident which in turn makes me feel more comfortable being ME. Even if I’m not at the gym, just moving around and being productive at housework or something like that makes me feel better about myself. Probably my last level is PERSONAL GROOMING – having a nice lotion, painting my nails, having clothes to wear that I like…all of these little things make me feel as if I am caring for myself. These are all the things that I need in order to feel fulfilled. I could probably also add things like time spent with friends, quality time spent with my husband, eating well…those things make the list too. I loved thinking about what my needs are and how much of an impact they have on how I feel. I highly recommend doing this exercise – it was an eye opener for me.

Strategies: this is the last section in the book and this covers the HOW – how are you going to make everyday activity a thing? This section covers how to fit activity into your life, talking to loved one about your new activities, and negotiating challenges. There are so many good strategies in this section, you’ll never be able to use your old stand-by excuses again. But the great thing is, that even if there is a day when you can’t/don’t want to fit in your activity – THAT’S OKAY TOO. Sometimes our bodies just need a break…so if your body is telling you that it wants to rest, listen to it.

There are SO MANY more things in this book that I would love to talk about, but then this would be the never-ending blog post and nobody got time for that. Seriously, this book has changed the way I view exercise and for a former couch potato like myself, that’s saying something. If you have a hard time finding your motivation to exercise, please go pick up this book and read it with an open mind. Honestly, I had no expectations when I read it and what I felt when I read it was relief. I just breathed a sigh and thought “well okay, yeah I can do this!” I joined the gym because of this book…I’m making self care a priority because of this book…basically I’m getting my groove back because of this book and I feel awesome. So please, please, please…go read this book if you just can’t find your WHY in regards to exercise. Then come back and let me know if/how it has changed the way you view exercise.

I received a digital manuscript copy of this book to read in exchange for my honest review. No other compensation was given to me and my review is my honest opinion. I have no affiliate links with Amazon.

*This quote was also used in the No Sweat book. 

Way to go, me! — January 15, 2015

Way to go, me!

So last night, I couldn’t sleep. It took me awhile to fall asleep and then a couple of hours later I woke up and could NOT get back to sleep (I may have been replaying Zumba songs in my head, ahem). I think I finally drifted off around 3 am and got up to get ready for work at 6am.

So yeah…tired today.

I got suuuuper sleepy around 4pm and was beginning to talk myself out of going to Zumba tonight:

I’m so tired, I just have no energy for dancing tonight. I probably don’t even have enough energy to make it through the whole hour. I should probably stay home and rest. Yes, I think I’ll just go home and take a nap and skip Zumba tonight. 

Except that once I got home, I started to debate the pros and cons of going:

If I go, I’ll probably feel better afterward. If I stay home, I’ll just end up laying around all evening doing nothing and then I’ll feel even more like crap. I should just go. If I don’t go, I’ll be disappointed in myself. I’ve never been disappointed in myself when I’ve gone before. Okay fine. I’ll go

So even though I really wanted to stay home and veg on the couch while watching American Idol, I suited up and went to shake my groove thang. It was fun and sweaty and I’m glad I went.

So…yay me! I’m kinda proud of myself for winning this round. I don’t always win, but this time I did and I’m happy about it.

This is me high fiving myself.
This is me high fiving myself.
Just stuff — May 22, 2014

Just stuff


This morning as I entered the kitchen my husband said “wow, you’re getting all kinds of new clothes” to which I replied “this old thing?” No, actually I said that this was not a new top, just one I haven’t worn much (it’s a summer top and it’s just now getting summer-y here in Oklahoma). I added, “but yeah, I have been buying a few new things here and there”, to which he replied “well that’s good!” to which my ears perked up and my brain translated as “YES DO MORE SHOPPING AND BUY MORE CLOTHES”. So yeah I’ma go do some more shopping today after work BECAUSE HE BASICALLY TOLD ME TO and it would be wrong to disappoint him. I’m doing it for him, really. Okay, not really – it’s all for me. Because clothes, y’all. 

I’ve been shopping a lot at CATO recently because their Women’s 14-16 size fits better than a regular XLarge and they are reasonably priced. Their smallest plus size tops fit my body better than the normal XL size tops because they are cut more generously in the hip and are a tad longer in length, which I love. And since CATO is not terribly expensive, I don’t feel so bad spending money on something that hopefully will be too large next spring/summer. *fingers crossed*

In other news, I bought some new fitness DVDs that Shelley had featured on her blog several months ago. I’ve been thinking of getting them for awhile now, but finally decided to bite the bullet and order them. I did a series of fitness dvds last summer and did really well with them. Keeping to a schedule is a big motivator for me apparently, because I don’t think I missed a day in 2 months, or if I did miss a day, I made it up at a later time. These new dvds arrived a couple of days ago, and I’ve been looking over the material and watching the videos (yes I’m a nerd – I need to know what to expect so when I do a fitness dvd, I have to watch it first so I won’t be confused while I follow along). The plan suggests starting on a Monday, so I’ll start on the 26th. The plan follows an 11 week schedule using 7 different dvds and I’ll probably do an update every now and then, so watch for that in the upcoming weeks. There is a nutrition guide as well, but since I’m still firmly ensconced in my Selvera program (update on that coming soon as well), I’m not going to pay so much attention to their nutrition plan. 

This weekend is going to be busy!  The 3rd 5k run in the Chase the Stars virtual 5k series is this weekend – it’s not too late to join! I’m glad this is a long weekend because I probably won’t get my run in until Sunday afternoon with everything else happening. Friday night, if I can stay up that late, my friend and I are going to see a midnight showing of the movie Grease at my local movie theater. I KNOW!!!! I’m so excited I can hardly stand it. I have a feeling I’m not going to be worth a plug nickel come Saturday*, but that’s okay – mama needs a night out!! Also, this is the last week of school for my kiddos, so they are having a couple of friends sleeping over on Friday night, and I promised them we could have a picnic at the park on Saturday. Sunday I’ll try to get my walk/run in, and then on Monday (tentatively), we’ll take the boat and go the lake for a day of swimming and hanging out. Should be a fun weekend, if I can keep it together and keep my eating under control. 

Speaking of that, I have found that planning out my meals the day before, or even the morning of, seems to really help keep me on track. I should probably make a plan for the whole weekend, just to be safe. 

It just occurred to me that I used to be very anti-boundary when it came to food and exercise. I was very “You can’t tell me what to do!” but now I find that having a plan and a schedule takes a lot of burden off of my shoulders. I’ve heard it said before that there is freedom in having boundaries and at the time I didn’t understand it, but now I’m starting to get it. Instead of having ALL THE FOOD IN THE WORLD to choose from, now my choices are limited to “what lean protein do I have on hand” or “which fruit do want to eat right now”. And knowing that missing tomorrow’s workout will mess up the whole week, I am less inclined to skip it, and I have to admit, I love crossing out the workouts when I complete them on my printed schedule that I keep on the fridge. Turns out, I kinda like my choices to be limited – I don’t have to think as much, which is nice because I have so many other things to think about (husband, work, kids, etc). It’s nice not having to devote so much mental energy to food. 

That’s it for me today. Wishing it were already Friday, but Thursday’s not so bad, I guess. It’s Friday Eve, after all! 🙂

*worth a plug nickle come Saturday? Who am I, Annie Oakley??? 

This is what happens when I get less than 6 hours of sleep. — March 16, 2010

This is what happens when I get less than 6 hours of sleep.

I just noticed that not only do I have lipstick on my teeth but also a seed from the “strawberries” in Special K with Red Berries stuck in my teeth. Nice. And why do they call them Red Berries? Are they admitting that they aren’t real strawberries? Because I would have believed them if they had told me they were real strawberries. Now that I think of it, what are those things anyway????  And here’s another weird thing:  I got much less sleep last night than the night before, yet I’m strangely wide awake today. What up wif dat?

Focus, Jill, FOCUS!!

Anyway, so I would like to lose another 20 pounds, but in order to do this, I think I need to really ramp up my exercise BIG TIME.  A half hour on the elliptical a few days a week just doesn’t seem to be cutting  it like it did a couple of years ago. I think I need to get my sweat on for at least an hour a few days per week, but I’m not sure what to do. The elliptical is so convenient, and the money for a gym membership is just not there right now, but I think I could swing one or two classes per week. There is a yoga class on Tuesday nights and a Zumba class on Thursday nights, but would that be enough to kick it up? I don’t know.  Of course I’ve got The Shred on DVD, but really I’d like something  a little more fun, not so soul-crushing.  Any suggestions?

Also, I sit on my rear for 8 hours a day at work – I probably should incorporate some exercise into my day. Maybe get up once per hour and do 20 jumping jacks or something like that?  I wonder how effective that would be.  Anyone else a desk jockey?  How do you fit in exercise throughout the day? Have you ever been caught doing something in your office that made others look at you funny?  This is my big fear – I”ll be in full on Downward Dog and someone would walk into my office and see me NOT sitting in my chair. How to explain that? 

Photo by Vlad Sytnik

What I need is for someone to PLAN a workout schedule for me. That’s what I need! Anyone ever had any experience with an online personal trainer?  Or does anyone have a specific plan that you follow?  Actually now that I think about it, I could just do the work out plan on my health insurance’s website again. That’s what I was doing before the Great Finger Smashing of 2009 when I totally lost all my mojo. I think I’ll check that out again, because it had a cardio plan as well as a strength training plan.

Man, am I all over the place today or what?!? 

Okay, I’m off to find a work out plan!  Wish me luck!  🙂

A new challenge — March 8, 2010

A new challenge

Hey gang!  Did you all have a good weekend?  Yesterday was gorgeous day here – we loaded up and headed to our local farm supply and bought seeds for this year’s garden. We are expanding the garden area-wise, and planting more and different veggies this year. I think we bought nearly $40 worth of seeds, and that was 40% off!  We are some garden-planning maniacs! 

I’m frustrated. I’m not losing weight like I thought I would. I’ve lost 4 pounds, and gained 2, and lost 1, and gained 3, and lost 1. *sigh* I’ve been doing this back and forth dance for 2 months and I’m tired of it.  I really thought my sugar-free experiment would yield some results, but alas, I sit here the same weight I was when I started it. Of course I planned that little foray right smack dab in the middle of my Lady Time and all her accompanying symptoms, not to say that the experiment was a failure – my PMS symptoms were noticeably lessened and I felt good while I was doing it, so I’m going to modify my No Sweets policy a little bit, but I’m going to stick with it for awhile longer.  (Was that like, the longest sentence EVER?) 

In hopes of getting below 155 pounds, I’m going to begin a new challenge. For the next 10 days I’m going to exercise for at least 20 minutes per day. Somehow I am going to force myself to fit it in – I think this will be the key to busting out of the upper 150’s.  So, that’s the goal for the next 10 days – Get. It. Done. I might buy a couple of new DVD’s, because there are days when I just don’t want to get on the elliptical, and plus I think it’s good to change things up. I need something to look forward to.

About expanding the No Sweets Policy, this week is going to be a little hard to work around. My birthday is Wednesday so I might treat myself to a little dark chocolate, or an angel food cake or something like that, and then Saturday is when I will celebrate with my parents and my sister and her family. Does anyone else do this? Have a birthday gathering to celebrate, even if you are almost 40? Birthdays are kind of a big deal in my family, we all try to get together and have a lunch or dinner and open presents and have cake and ice cream.  Doesn’t matter the age, if you were born into my family, you will be having a birthday party! It’s still fun.

So anyway, there will be a few sugary foods consumed in the next 6 days. OH! And guess what else I’m doing on Wednesday?  I’m taking the day off of work and treating myself to a massage and a mani/pedi. After my morning at the spa, I’m going to go shopping. I plan on spending the day by myself just doing the things I want to do.  I rarely get time to do these things, so I thought this would be the perfect opportunity. I’m really excited! 

Okay so, my focus this week is exercise and celebrating me! I’ll let you all know how it goes.  What would you do with a day all to yourself?

Playing with blocks — March 5, 2010

Playing with blocks


My trifecta of weight loss success (water, food, exercise) is 2/3 perfect. I’m drinking about 8 glasses every day, my calories run about 1300-1400 of good, healthy (for the most part) food, but the exercise area is sorely lacking. I just can’t seem to get in the groove. I realized my all-or-nothing thinking is impeding my progress in this one area: if I can’t do 30-40 minutes, then I might as well do nothing. And that’s what usually happens – nothing. So I decided that instead of thinking of each day in terms of an Exercise Day or Not an Exercise Day, I would think in terms of Blocks. Will today be a 10 minute block of exercise, a 20 minute block, or a 30+ minute block?  Which one can I fit in today? These are the questions I”ll be asking myself every day. Annie said something on her blog today that made my lightbulb go on:

I think the key change that happened for me was looking at this whole thing DAY TO DAY. Instead of trying to fit exercise in five days out of the week, I have to fit exercise in TODAY. And I have my calories for TODAY. It has helped a lot. Like whoa.

So that’s what I am going to do also, but I’m also going to think about how much exercise can I fit into my day today. I think that giving myself options will help me get over the slump of  “I don’t wanna” and into “well, I dont’ feel like it, but I’ll do at least 10 minutes today”, and if I can extend that 10 minutes, great. If not, at least I know I did SOMETHING.

Any of you do this already? What mind games do you play to get yourself motivated to work out?

Speaking of exercise, Diana Young, RD, has invited me to be a contributor to her blog. So if you want to see a completely useless post from me (yeah I know you can do that here already!) go here to read it. Here at my own blog it’s pretty easy to come up with whatever drivel is swirling around in my brain and put it in print, but writing for someone else’s blog is tough!  Let me know what you think. 

Oh my gosh, I just remembered! Today is the last day of my NO SWEETS CHALLENGE!  Woo hoo! I’ve made it for 10 days without eating any cookies, cakes, desserty type confections!!  This is a big deal, y’all. And you know what? I’m not even really looking forward to eating anything sweet. I can’t think of anything that I just really want because I have a feeling if I do eat anything like that, it’s going to make me ill. I just feel it. I’m just going to play it by ear this weekend and see how it goes.  I’m not going to search out the sweets to eat, but if say, someone makes me a birthday cake this weekend, I probably won’t pass up a piece.  The bday party might not happen this weekend anyway, but if it does, I’ll deal with it. It’s all good. 

I hope you all have a great weekend – it’s supposed to be a sunny 60degrees here today, so I may have to slip out of work early and go do something fun!  🙂

Unsatisfied, dissatisfied,unsatisfication — October 7, 2008

Unsatisfied, dissatisfied,unsatisfication

I sit here at my computer checking and rechecking all the blogs on my favorites list in search of…something.  I’m not even sure what I’m searching for:  motivation, inspiration? I don’t know.  All I know is that lately I am unsatisfied.  Maybe unsatisfied is not the right word…maybe apathetic? Not really, because I feel very strongly that I want to feel…something, I’m just not sure what that something is.  So I guess un-satisfied is the word (is it really even a word?) that is best used to describe my current mental/emotional state.  Blogging used to be a very satisfying experience for me, as was reading other people’s blogs (don’t get me wrong – I still love to read YOUR blogs) but the last few weeks, I just don’t feel the urgency to write/read like I used to.  How can I best explain this malaise?  Think of it this way, you know you want to eat something, but you don’t know what you are in the mood for, so you go from the refrigerator to the pantry and back again, hoping something will suddenly appear and you’ll say AHA!  THAT’S what I’m hungry for! Only, nothing pops out at you and so you wear a visible trail in the linoleum going back and forth between the fridge and the pantry.  


My intake of all things junky has jumped exponentially and in direct correlation to that, the number of workouts I have completed has dwindled.  I’m worried about this because as the weather gets colder and grayer, my desire to do anything healthy goes down the tubes, and I soooo do not want to regain any of the weight I have lost.  And it could happen so easily, I recognize that. 


Up until a couple of weeks ago, I was really consistent with my workouts and getting them done NO MATTER WHAT, and then Merry or Crabby (I can’t remember which one) over at Cranky Fitness asked the question “how do you stay motivated to work out” or something along those lines.  I was feeling empowered and rattle off my answer and from that moment on, I’m not kidding here, my mojo flew out the window.  And it hasn’t come back yet.  It’s like the universe said, “oh yeah? Feeling a little cocky are we? Well how bout we knock you down a peg or two!” and BLAM!  No more motivation.  At all. Anywhere.  I’ve eaten my weight in Cheetos and Oreos (and I don’t even like Oreos that much) and anything else I can get my hands on, and no I’m not even PMSing.  I know my lack of exercise is fueling my desire for sugar and salty carbs, which in turn makes me feel so sluggish that I don’t want to work out, etc etc etc.  It’s a cycle not easily broken, which brings me to the point of today’s post. 


Part of the problem is that I have only two windows of opportunity to walk.  Either I get up early in the morning (4:45 am) and do a 35 minute walk or I do it as soon as I hit the door after work. I have about 1 hour to get it done in the afternoon before the family demands set in, after that it ain’t happenin.  Lately I am so tired in the mornings, that I just shove my alarm clock under the covers so I don’t hear it, then I wake up in a panic and have to hurry to get ready for work.  If I decide to do it in the afternoon, I’m usually so tired by the time I get home that I just want to relax in front of Oprah and have a snack. 


Exercising at lunch time is not really a viable option because I only get 30 minutes for lunch and since I work in a refinery-type place, there isn’t a good place to walk. 


Wow, that sounds like a lot of excuses, I know, but really this is what I’m working with here.  So tell me, oh wise and all-knowing blogosphere, what do I do?  How do I overcome this?  Really if I could have MizFit come over, drag my azz out of bed every morning and direct me in a heart pumping workout,  that would be great (you don’t mind do ya Miz? Texas is right next to Oklahoma!).  But other than that, what would you suggest?  I want to hear from you on this one, so let’s have it, people!  Help a sistah get her mojo back!! 

Whatever it takes — March 11, 2008

Whatever it takes

Okay, the exercise thing…here’s the thing: I have been fighting this voice lately that tells me that since I can’t get out of bed early enough in the morning to work out, I must not really be very committed to losing weight. This voice keeps telling me that I am a wuss for not sucking it up and making time to get on the treadmill. This voice…some days I want to tell the voice to shut it already! and ignore whatever it’s whispering to me, but then there are times when I think, is this voice just letting me know what I already know to be true? That is, if I am going to get this working out thing worked out, I need to do it first thing in the morning. I have great intentions of doing it after work ( I’m home by 4 pm everyday) and theoretically I have all evening to do it, but then life gets in the way, as well as kids and dinner and homework and American Idol, etc, and the work out never happens.

Then my BFF, whom I have known since I was 12, calls me and tells me she has been getting up at 4:45 am to go work out. SH*T!! For some reason, this makes me think that since she’s doing it, I should be too. I mean if she can get up at the butt-crack of dawn and drive to a gym, then surely I can get myself out of bed and WALK to the treadmill!! And she swears by it – she is walking taller and feeling like she has accomplished something before she even gets to work in the mornings. Byotch! Just kidding – I love her a lot!!

I am not, nor have I ever been, a morning person. Getting out of bed is emotionally painful for me in the mornings! I love to sleep and to have it interrupted just seems cruel, so to have to get up and then go workout? Double cruel. But I want to be committed to losing weight and I want to do whatever it takes to get the job done, and I want to be fit and healthy and strong and oh yeah, weigh a lot less too.

I figure I have two choices: I can get up in the mornings and work out and yes, it will be hard, but I can just do it and get it done, or I can fight off the things of life and just MAKE myself work out in the afternoons when I get home from work, which yes, will also be hard, but I’ll get to sleep in a little more in the mornings. So I guess it’s a trade off and neither option is going to be easy, but if I want to be committed to losing weight, I have to make a choice. NOT working out is not an option either, so don’t even go there!

Ugh, why can’t we all just be thin and independently wealthy and not have to worry about any of it??!!

— December 5, 2007

I am going to do Week 2 of C25K over because

  1)      I didn’t get 3 days in last week and the two days I did do were very far apart and

2)    I just found out I’ve been doing it wrong (sort of).


I was doing the 5 minute warm up and then my 90run/2min walk for a TOTAL of 20 minutes. After checking the Cool Running message boards, I realize I should be doing the 5 minute warm up, and then start my 20 minutes of run/walk.  So I have been cheating myself of some running and I thought I would do week 2 again so I can really condition myself for doing this right.  I don’t want to get into Week 3 and be in pain!  Part of my “letting go” of my all or nothing thinking is that it’s okay to take it slow, it’s okay if I don’t do every week in succession if I’m not ready. 

  I realized something else in regard to my all or nothingness: for the longest time I did not do any kind of strength training because I thought I had to have a workout room complete with weight bench or bowflex or whatever huge monstrosity of weight equipment Chuck Norris told me I needed, and I thought I HAD to have an hour long routine in place before I could start working my muscles.  A light bulb went off in my head one day after I read someone’s blog (I’m sorry, I can’t remember whose blog it was!)  and I realized that a few push ups and a couple of crunches COULD be considered strength training as well. Hallelujah!  So now in addition to my run/walk, I have added some push ups and crunches.  I’m sure I’ll add more later, but for now that is about all I can manage. I’m too embarrassed to tell you how many push ups I do (or don’t do), so when I get to what I feel is a respectable number for bragging, I’ll let you know!   As far as the crunches, is it still considered a six pack if you can’t see it?  Not that it’s there yet, but you know just in case… J  

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