The Sassy Pear

Finding my way through my forties

Assertive — June 26, 2014

Assertive

This week has been hectic and busy and it seems like all my plans for this week have been shot. Well I guess that’s not totally true, but it sure feels that way. 

On Monday I missed getting up in time for my morning workout, but I had planned on getting it done after work that evening. I came home, changed into my workout clothes, grabbed a yogurt to eat real quick and just as I was getting ready to pull the lid off, my SIL dropped by. Which was fine – I don’t see her very often and I enjoy talking with her – except she ended up staying for 2 hours which meant that not only did I miss my workout, I didn’t get dinner ready until after 8 pm, and I had some work stuff I needed to do that didn’t get finished. In the grand scheme of things, I would rather spend 2 hours talking with a friend than working out and fixing dinner, but it sort of threw me off my schedule. Monday night, I couldn’t sleep. I tossed and turned most of the night which led me to…

missing my alarm on Tuesday morning. 😦 So no workout Tuesday morning either which REALLY ticked me off (at myself). I had planned on running some errands after work but in the middle of the afternoon my husband texted me “lets go out to dinner tonight”. After work, while I waited for him to get home I was feeling really anxious about missing my workouts and messing up my pre-planned menu for the week, so I grazed on some pita chips and probably other things that I shouldn’t have that I can’t even remember what they were now. I have been specifically working on NOT doing this but old habits die hard. Really, really freaking hard.  Once we got to the restaurant, I did fine, probably because I wasn’t starving due to the mini-binge beforehand. I had grilled shrimp and a baked sweet potato but I was still mad at myself for turning to food for comfort. I’m trying really hard stop that behavior, but I obviously have a ways to go. 

Wednesday, was actually a perfect day, now that I think about it. I worked out early, stayed on plan all day, went to bed and slept like a rock. No grazing or bingeing or eating off-plan. Woohoo! 

And then today…I didn’t get up and work out because I knew my husband was going to get up at the time I normally work out (which is an hour earlier than he normally wakes up) and I just felt weird about working out in front of him. I’ve done it before, but 5:15 – 6am has become MY TIME and I sort of felt like he would have been invading my space. So I just went back to bed for another hour. Which ended up just making me feel disappointed in myself when I finally did get up. 

The reason these 3 days (Monday, Tuesday, and today) didn’t work out well is because I wasn’t assertive and didn’t put my needs at the top of the list. I get really frustrated when I let others decide how my day goes or when I know that something is important to me but I de-prioritize it for someone else. This is a recurring theme in my weight loss life. Actually it’s a recurring theme in my life-life too. I need to be assertive enough to say “I would love to chat with you, but I’m getting ready to work out – care to join me?”* or “Just so you know, I’m going to work out in the morning so you might want to have your morning coffee out on the patio”. I know it’s going to take practice but it’s something I really need to get a handle on ASAP. Actually it’s something I should have gotten a handle on many years ago. Recognizing and BELIEVING that my needs are valid is going to be a big hurdle, but I’m willing to keep working on it. 

How do you handle interruptions and changes like these? Do you git-r-done no matter what, or are you a pushover like me? 🙂 

*thanks to Kyra for suggesting this one. The bonus to this phrase is that either they will join you and you’ll have a workout buddy OR they’ll leave in a hurry! LOL! 

 

Noticing — June 16, 2014

Noticing

I noticed a few things over the weekend – some delighted me, some bothered me. 

First the delightful:

I have reached that sweet spot where I am now cognizant of the fact that good food makes me feel good, and not only that, my taste buds prefer it. I keep trying to give my old favorites (read: processed/sugary) second, third, and fourth chances, but I have finally really honestly come to accept that those foods just don’t taste as good to me as they once did. And I can’t deny the difference in how I feel when I eat certain things. I did an accidental experiment over the weekend wherein I ate very good foods all day Saturday and I made a mental note of how great I felt all day long. I started the day with a whole wheat pancake w/ 1tbsp of peanut butter and a side of fresh strawberries. Lunch was a salad with greens, chicken, tomatoes, sunflower seeds, and a couple of other things I can’t remember right now, but oh em gee it was delish. Afternoon snack was a deep chocolate Vitatop (needed a chocolate fix – yum!) and dinner was grilled steak with sweet potato and more salad. So good. So, so good. I had energy, was in a good mood, felt really balanced. 

Aaaaand then came Sunday. Since it was Father’s Day, I made Belgian waffles with bacon and fried eggs before church, then since I was was starving after church, I ate another Belgian waffle folded over some bacon – one of those “I just need some food in my stomach NOW” kinda things. Then I ate a pbj on wheat bread, because…hangry. I thought the hubs would want to go out to eat, but he was pretty happy in his recliner, so the waffle/pbj ended up being my lunch. We went to see my dad in the afternoon and I had a piece of my mom’s homemade chocolate pie (totally worthy), then we met my husband’s family for pizza that evening. I had a salad and one slice of pizza. All day long, I felt tired and cranky. I took a 2 hour nap at home after church and still felt lethargic. I just felt plain awful the whole live long day (which delighted my husband to no end. Happy Father’s Day, honey!!). 

So lesson learned: whole, fresh food makes me feel GREAT while processed, sugary food makes me feel (say it with me) HORRIBLE. I’ll be sticking with healthier fare from now on. 

 

And now for the thing that bothered me:

My daughter is 13 years old, tall and thin. She plays sports, so she’s gaining some muscle now and is in no way overweight. More than once this weekend I overheard well-meaning family members make comments about how much she eats. And yes, she does eat a lot – Girl can put away some groceries (it’s impressive, really). And of course she eats a lot – SHE’S A GROWING GIRL. She also sleeps a lot too because, again, GROWING. What really ticked me off is that each time a comment was made toward her, no one even thought of making a comment about how my 17 year old son eats, and he was right there sitting next to her the whole time. Why is it okay to comment on how much a growing teenage girl eats? My SIL, when we were at the pizza restaurant, said to my daughter as she was getting a slice of pizza ‘That’ll make you fat!” but said nothing when my son ate 3 slices of pizza and 3 hot wings plus a salad. Now, I believe my SIL was joking when she made her comment, because my SIL is every bit of 300 pounds herself, but still it made me want to come over the table at her like a spider monkey. I don’t believe that any of the relatives meant any harm or were being snarky or anything like that, but it really bothered me that they would even dare to make comments to a teenage girl like that. To my daughter’s credit, she just ignored all of it and let it roll off her back (at least that’s how it looked on the outside) – she’s the kind of girl who isn’t afraid to tell someone they are being rude or let someone know they’re out of line. So maybe I’m just projecting my own issues onto the situation, but the whole thing left me feeling rather Mama Bear-like. When any comment was made, I added my own comment: “She’s just the size she needs to be” or “She needs fuel to build those muscles” or something along those lines. I just want her to be proud of her body and everything it can do for her. She’s so impressed with her newly found calf muscles, so I encourage talk about how high her legs can jump (she does volleyball and high jump in track) and how her body is amazing (in terms of functionality). Young girls have such fragile self-esteems, it just makes me cringe when anyone (even well meaning family members) makes unhelpful comments. The whole thing just left a bad taste in my mouth. 😦 

I hope I can keep my kids from struggling with the same food issues I have struggled with my whole life. I’m trying to show them what it means to be a healthy eater – I just hope I haven’t started too late. 

Just Jill again — June 12, 2014

Just Jill again

This week I have been kidless. My two older kiddos are away at camp and my youngest has been at grandmas. They’ll all be home again this weekend and although I have missed them, I have to admit this week has been FABULOUS. 

I feel like I’m getting a glimpse into the future when I’ll be an empty-nester (which will most likely be in ten years). I’ve only had to run the dishwasher once this week. I still have half a gallon of milk left from when I opened it last weekend – we usually go through a gallon a day with the kids around. I’ve washed really small loads of laundry (and by loads, I mean exactly two) and that was only because it was something my husband needed washed, otherwise I’ve sort of said “screw it”. 

I went to a movie with a friend on Tuesday night BECAUSE I COULD. A movie! On a Tuesday!! And it wasn’t even animated! In case you’re interested, it was this movie. Really good and really girly. Perfect!  

Last night, the hubs and I went out for dinner by ourselves. I can’t remember the last time we did that. 

I’ve noticed that I haven’t been as tempted to mindlessly snack like I usually do. It’s been easier to stay on track this week knowing that I don’t have the pressure of planning and preparing a meal that at least ONE person is going to turn their nose up to. Not having to referee petty arguments leaves me time to think. For the first time in a long time, I just feel like Jill and not Mom. I’ve missed Jill. She’s pretty rad to hang out with. 🙂  Mom is tense and cranky and tired. Somehow I need to figure out how to meld the two together or at least be more Jillish and less Momish all the time. 

As bad as this might sound, I haven’t missed being Mom this week. I love my kids and I’d kill anyone who ever tried to harm them, but Jeeze Louise motherhood tends to suck the life out of me! Some days I just don’t feel equipped with the patience to be the person guiding these sweet souls through life. A lot of days, I feel like they’re getting the raw end of the deal. I wonder if all moms feel like that at some point? But that’s a post for another day…

Anyway, it’s been a nice, quiet, eye-opening break for me this week. I appreciate that I’ve been given this time and when it ends on Saturday, I’d like to figure out a way to keep a little of that ‘calm’ around for awhile. I’ve got a few ideas brewing, but have you guys got any ideas? How do you keep peace in your homes and keep things running smoothly? 

This afternoon I’m treating myself to a pedicure and maybe a little window shopping after work, and then a nice evening on the patio. Just one more night to soak up all the Jillness. 🙂

 

 

Tight calves and Easter strategies — April 16, 2014

Tight calves and Easter strategies

Howdy! 

I’m blogging from home today due to the nasty stomach bug that attacked my youngest daughter early this morning. She’s sleeping comfortably right now and I’m trying to type quietly so as not to wake her (anyone know how to type quietly? is there such a thing?). 

I have a question that hopefully you runner-types can help me with: lately when I run my left calf gets really tight as I’m running. Why? Why does it do this? I normally walk for 5 minutes before running, so I think I’m getting warmed up sufficiently, and I stretch after I run. What else do I need to be doing? Regale me with your running secrets! 

I was a little worried about how to handle Easter, with all its chocolate and ham and chocolate and marshmallow Peeps, and chocolate, but after talking with Amanda about it, her advice was this: tighten things up for the next few days and then go ahead and  enjoy a few treats on Easter. She said to pick a few of my very favorites and enjoy them with no guilt. (!!!!) As far as Easter dinner goes, she said to eat whatever I wanted but just make sure they were small portions. And she stressed that I should not have any guilt at all – holidays were made to be celebrated, so go ahead and celebrate, but do it in a way that will make you feel good. Balance is the key – not perfection. 🙂 

I remember when I lost over 30 pounds a few years ago that Easter was the holiday where I let everything go and began my climb back up the scale. The months leading up to Easter had been very stressful and for some reason all the chocolate bunnies and Easter ham just sent me over the edge – and I happily swan-dived right into them. So I always feel a little anxiety where this holiday is concerned (really only just a little, but it’s still there). I don’t foresee myself going off the deep end again, especially since I have Amanda in my corner, but I’m very aware of how easy it would be to do that. 

Well, my little patient is requesting some ginger ale so I’ll wrap this up for now, but I wanted to ask – how do you all handle Easter? Bypass the bunnies or inhale all the ham? Answer below!! 🙂

 

Tornados! Hail! Wind Gusts! Rain! ALL THE WEATHERS ARE COMING FOR YOU!! — April 14, 2014

Tornados! Hail! Wind Gusts! Rain! ALL THE WEATHERS ARE COMING FOR YOU!!

Good morning! Is it Friday yet???? 🙂

After some careful effort and lots of encouragement from Amanda, the cookie issue became a non-issue for the rest of last week. I did really well and felt so much better. I had been on the straight and narrow for several days until yesterday. We had severe storms moving in – talk of 65mph winds and golf ball sized hail, so I was watching the news to keep track of the storm. My husband was off on a hunting trip and would be driving right into the direction of the storm. I was a wee bit worried. 

Maybe it’s because it’s Oklahoma and tornadoes can pop up any minute, but our weather guys are on top of impending weather issues. I mean seriously on top of things. They will talk non stop about the storms and where they are headed and what they have damaged (which I totally and completely appreciate, btw), but sometimes I find myself getting carried away on the nervous tide of IMPENDING SEVERE WEATHER ISSUES. 

The more I listened to the weatherman, the more anxious I got. He was super excited!, so I got super excited! (nervous excited, not happy excited). The faster he would talk, the more nervous I got. I could feel my shoulders inching up closer and closer to my ears as my muscles got more and more tense. 

Guess what happens when I get anxious? Yep. I headed to the kitchen. 

I tried to keep my nervous nibbling to healthy foods: some grapes, a slice of provolone cheese, some leftover chicken breast…but what I really wanted was something crunchy, salty, and would take a while to eat. POPCORN! I popped myself some corn and that did the trick for awhile, but I found myself wanting needing chocolate. So I ate a few (5 to be exact) chocolate eggs and that seemed to soothe the nervous beast within. (Did I mention that my Special Lady Time finally arrived on Saturday after being THREE WEEKS LATE??? That did not help my situation at all. I’m going to write a strongly worded letter to Mother Nature about that.) I followed that up with some Raisin Bran for dinner and was finally done. 

It’s been a long time since I’ve eaten like that for anxiety reasons. I guess I should be happy because that used to be a daily thing, but I’m still disappointed that I let it get away from me like that. In hindsight, there’s a lot of things I could have done differently:

1) Turn off the Overly Excited Weather Man. The storm came through and yes, it was dark and ominous for about an hour but then it blew on through. It rained, no hail. Typical spring storm. Husband got home fine. 

2) I could have done yoga instead of eating.

3) I could have taken a nap instead of eating.

4) I could have drank (could have drunk?) a big glass of water – I hadn’t had much water and was actually quite thirsty. 

My weight on Friday was in the low 190s but a quick peek this morning showed it bounced back up in the mid 190s. My hope is that a lot of water and a couple of days back on track will bring my weight back down. Something else I need to get back to is tracking on the weekends. I’ve not been doing that and as a result, I tend to get a little loosey-goosey on the weekends, so I need to cut that out. The plan for this week is: plenty of water, plenty of healthy foods, plenty of activity, and plenty of tracking. I can do that. 

I’m curious, do any of you get this way when watching the weather or is it just me? I’m all for being prepared and taking things seriously, but yesterday could have been a great napping/movie-watching day if I hadn’t been so Chicken Little about it. I kept myself confined to my bedroom to keep my kids from picking up on my nervous energy – they didn’t seem to notice anything unusual, at least I got that part right. We still have a couple of months of Spring Tornado/Severe Weather here, so I’m getting this lesson learned early, thank goodness. Trying really hard here to take away the good things and not beat myself up about yesterday. That in itself is progress.

Lesson learned: don’t get carried away with the weather guys. Check in periodically, but don’t let it get the best of you. Be safe, but don’t be a worry wart and most of all, don’t turn to food for comfort. 

Class dismissed. 🙂

 

I just want to take a little nap. On my desk. For the rest of the day. — January 20, 2014

I just want to take a little nap. On my desk. For the rest of the day.

Hey gang! 

I don’t know about you all, but I am TIRED today. I was busy all weekend long and then I didn’t get to bed until 11:30 last night so of course I’m tired. And you know what happens when I’m tired? I want to compensate my lack of energy with food, so I’m going to have to be extra careful today to not go off into the ditch. 

I had planned on getting up early this morning to walk on the treadmill but when the alarm went off at 5 am I said “NOPE” and reset my alarm for 6 am and went back to sleep. I just couldn’t do it. I’ll try to get my walk in this evening, but I’m not making any promises. After work I have to go get a few groceries, then by the time I get home and make dinner and clean up…who knows.

Is it bad that I’m already ready for bed? 

The reason I wanted to get on the treadmill this morning is so I can start training for Kyra’s virtual 5k race series. She has put together a series of monthly 5ks that you do on your own one weekend a month, starting in March. If you want more info, go HERE. You can still sign up and check out the dates of the races. There is no fee, but there will be prizes along the way and you can even order a tshirt if you want (but you are not obligated to get one, only if you just really really want one. I’m totally getting one though. :)). Here’s the logo for the series:

Cool, huh?! 

Food news: still chugging along. I have to be careful of using too many Discretionary keys (these are like treat foods) – the plan allows for 3 per week and I think I’ve been using 3 per day – oops!! I just need to be a little more vigilant about saying NO to these kinds of foods – it’s more about breaking the habit than craving the taste. Most of the foods I used to drool over just don’t taste that good to me anymore. Could it be that my taste buds are evolving? Can old tastebud dogs indeed learn new tricks??? 

That’s about it for me. I have a boatload of work to do today and absolutely zero energy or desire to do any of it. I’ll muddle through it somehow, and hope for the best! 

Check ya later,

Jill

 

Books I want you to read — October 3, 2013

Books I want you to read

Hey Kids!

Just thought I’d pop in and say howdy. I’ve been reading a lot lately and I wanted to share some books I’ve recently read. Most of these are pretty easy to read and don’t take a ton of time to get through them. I listed the prices in case you’re interested and I’ve noticed that some of these prices have changed recently so don’t expect them to stay these prices. I don’t have any affiliation with Amazon or Kindle or anything. I just like to share. Because I’m a giver like that. 🙂

In no particular order, here are some of my recent favorites: (and by recent I mean I recently read them, not that they’ve been recently released, FYI)

  • The Noticer by Andy Andrews. Wanna learn some life lessons? This is your book. All it takes is a little “perspective”. 🙂 ($9.99 on Amazon Kindle)
  • Coming Clean by Kimberly Rae Miller. What would it be like to grow up in a home of hoarders? This book will tell you. It’s the memoir of a girl who grew up with a hoarding father and a mother who just couldn’t get a handle on it. It will make you glad that your home is (reasonably) clean. ($4.99 on Amazon Kindle)
  • Pavilion of Women by Pearl S. Buck. I highlighted a lot of notes in this book. I could probably write a whole post on just this book alone – such clarity on women and their role in the world. ($7.69 on Amazon Kindle)
  • 600 Hours of Edward by Craig Lancaster. I loved the main character, Edward. He has Asperberger’s and I couldn’t help imaging Dr. Sheldon Cooper from the Big Bang Theory as Edward. It’s a funny and sad and sweet read. ($3.99 on Amazon Kindle)
  • Weight Loss: The Screenplay by Elaine Moran. You knew I would have a weight loss book in there, right? I really liked this book. I just finished reading it today and I am going to go back and re-read it and do all of the exercises that are included in it. This book is right in line with the things I’ve been exploring in weight loss lately – changing from the inside out, but what’s great about this is that the author is good at explaining WHY things work like they do. I might be talking about this more in the future, but if you want to read it for yourself, it’s only $2.99 on Amazon right now.

Now it’s your turn: What books have you read recently that you think the rest of us might like? I’m always on the lookout for new titles! 🙂

I’ll go Jackie Chan on that cake, I mean it! — April 2, 2013

I’ll go Jackie Chan on that cake, I mean it!

Hey Friends!! How was your Easter?

First things first – my sweet friend and fellow blogger Kyra is in the first round of an art contest and she needs your votes. So please go here and ignore all the slutty fairies (okay, they aren’t all slutty, only some) and find her White Rabbit painting, then scroll past the artwork down to where all the names are. Find Kyra Wilson and check the box next to her name and then click on the “vote” button below that. This means a lot to her and besides being super talented, she’s a great person who deserves to win. It takes only a minute to vote, and I know she will really appreciate it. 🙂

Man, I gotta tell ya, I had a fabulous weekend. I took off work Friday to go visit my old BFF who was going to be in our hometown for the weekend. I haven’t been back to my hometown since my high school reunion 4 years ago, but that was a quick trip and I didn’t get a chance to really look around the town like I wanted, so this time I made sure to have plenty of time to check out my old stomping grounds. My parents moved from my hometown when I was 22, so I really don’t have a reason to go back and visit even though it’s only a couple of hours away. Most of my friends have moved away also, so unless there’s a special reason, I just don’t go home anymore. Anyway, I met up with D (whom I’ve known since I was 12, but we weren’t BFFs until college where we lived together) and we drove every inch of that town. Let me tell you, Memory Lane is a long, long road. I drove past my old house (the house that when I dream I’m home – it’s always this house) and there were cars in the driveway and the garage door was open – I was thisclose to stopping and asking if I could look inside. I didn’t want them to call the cops on the crazy crying lady though, so I drove on past.  We snuck in to our old high school (and by snuck, I mean we walked right in – it was 4pm and the doors were still open but there were only a handful of people there. No one seemed to notice the two middle aged women roaming the halls) and looked around, we went to the lake and tried to find our names that were spray painted on the spillway nearly 25 years ago (they weren’t there anymore, most likely washed away by the elements or covered over by the other 24 graduating classes since ours), we drove by the houses where our friends used to live…it was a very bittersweet day. I didn’t realize how much I missed that town until I was there this time. I have to admit, I had a really good childhood growing up in that town. I was dismayed to see that it was a little smaller and a little less shiny than I remembered, but it’s still there and that’s what counts. There’s been talk of a 25 year high school reunion and if that happens I will definitely go. I already want to go back right away!

Saturday was a day of running errands, and then Sunday was Easter. Good church service, excellent lunch (made by yours truly), and a big nap. Does it get any better than that? No, no it does not. 🙂

I gotta say though, I really overdid it on Sunday. After a heavy lunch, my mom brought over a cheese cake and my neighbors sent over some really cute cupcakes they had made – and I gorged myself on all of it. Oh, I was disgusted with myself. I was digging into another slice of cheesecake later that afternoon while watching The Bible on History Channel (well done, History Channel!) and my son said “wow mom, you must really like that stuff” and suddenly I realized that Jesus probably wouldn’t be so impressed with my gluttony. Actually I wasn’t impressed with my gluttony either, so I got up and tossed the rest of the cheesecake in the trash and was done. I drank hot tea and water for the rest of the evening – I didn’t even eat dinner because I was so full from everything I had eaten earlier in the day.

Yesterday I decided that I needed a break from the sweet stuff, so I planned on having no sugary treats all day. I was resolved that I would not let processed sugar pass my lips all day. I didn’t even put sugar in my coffee or tea (and I was strangely satisfied with that)…but then about 2:00 in the afternoon, my pusher the little old man across the street brought me a slice of Easter Bunny cake – you know the cakes you see in the bakery that are shaped like a bunny? He brought me the bunny’s butt – the part with all the extra icing. It was pink and fluffy and I didn’t want it. I really didn’t. But old habits die hard, and I took a bite. It wasn’t that good, but I took another bite and another until I had finished off the whole slice. And then I spent the rest of the afternoon feeling disappointed in myself, realizing that I’m going to have to take a stand and JUST SAY NO. I can’t keep defeating my own agenda – I can’t keep letting my emotions override my logic.

So today I’m going to try again.  I’m going to say no to the sweet stuff today – just today, that’s all I have to worry about. If cake or chocolate or a treat comes my way, I’m going to use my sweet ninja skills to block the attack and it will end up in the trash. With dish soap poured over it. And coffee grounds dumped over that. And if I can get my hands on some bacon grease, I’ll add that too. Because I’m tired of the defeat and I deserve a little victory in my life, that’s why.

So that’s the plan anyway. I gotta go brush up on my roundhouse kicks and throat punches so I’ll be ready when the sweets jump out at me from behind the corner. Anyone have any ninja stars they can loan me for awhile? 🙂

Not even once — March 12, 2013

Not even once

Hello Folks!

I didn’t go to weigh in on Saturday and it was probably  just as well. I know I had a gain and was waiting for my new “clean slate” week to begin, which it did, but the slate got real dirty by the next day. It didn’t just get dirty it got drrrrrty.  Dirty with bbq and cheesecake (yep, I got my birthday cheesecake and it was WONDERFUL).  I tracked everything I ate and Monday I was back on plan, until after work when I made the grave mistake of tasting “just one” Honey BBQ Twisted Frito. Holy crackers, those things must be dipped in meth because before I knew it, I was on the street corner hustling Johns so I could get enough money to go score some more Twisted Fritos. Not even once, kids…not even once.

I literally could not stop eating them. I think I ate half the bag before I finally gave the bag to my son and told him to go hide them. He came back into the kitchen 5 minutes later, shoved the bag into the pantry and said “wow, it took a lot of effort for me to stop eating those!”, so I know it wasn’t just me – he just stopped a lot sooner than I did. This had nothing to do with willpower, it was purely the addictive flavor of the chips which I’m sure Frito-Lay most likely spent thousands of dollars in R&D to come up with. I fell right into their trap.

So today, I’m in a funk and I’m 90% positive it’s because of all those Fritos I ate yesterday. I am becoming more and more aware of how I feel after I eat things like that, and I’m noticing that it usually affects me the day after I have eaten the offending food.

I know, I know, you all tried to warn me when you said you don’t let trigger foods pass your lips at all anymore. I didn’t listen then, but I’m listening now! I’ve decided that if I’m going to lose weight and keep it off, I have to tighten things up around here and quit being so loosey-goosey with all the BLTs (bites, licks, tastes).  The thing is, it didn’t occur to me that those would be a trigger food, but lately I seem to be getting cozy with salty snacks of all kinds. I think I need to put a moratorium on them for awhile because sheesh, I don’t need another replay of yesterday’s carnage. Lions attacking their prey aren’t as violent as I was with those Fritos.

Learn from me, friends. Don’t be me. Don’t use salty snacks lest you find yourself at the counter of The Betty Ford Clinic for Frito Addiction with a mustard-yellow dust all over your face. Just say no, kids, just say no!

 

 

 

 

It’s like regular annoyed, but with a cape. — March 8, 2013

It’s like regular annoyed, but with a cape.

I am so glad it’s Friday because I am super annoyed with work today (actually I’ve been annoyed with work for 3 days now). My regional manager is going chart-crazy and making up and having us fill out all sorts of new charts with information that can already be found in our system. Also annoyed because I had to travel to Kansas City on Wednesday with my coworkers for a safety training class. We had to drive 4 hours in an uncomfortable passenger van to get there, spend the night at a hotel, get up the next morning and go to the 2 hour class, then drive back 4 hours yesterday. It seems like a huge waste of time and money to me, but I don’t get to make the rules.

Of course since it’s a company thing, they pay for our meals while we are there and on the road. Do you know how hard it is to eat well while traveling on the company dime? I tried to make good choices, I really did. We never knew ahead of time where we would be eating, so I couldn’t look up nutritional info beforehand, but I ordered a big salad at least once a day. It was the other meal of the day that killed me. For dinner Wednesday evening, I ordered seared scallops thinking that would be a safe bet, but it came with an asparagus risotto which, while it was divine, probably had a lot of calories because something that tastes that good is rarely low in cals. Oh and I also had the most wonderful french onion soup – just a cup, but I should have just made a meal of that.  For breakfast the next morning I chose an english muffin with cream cheese, a hard boiled egg, and a banana, which was actually more than I probably needed to eat at the time, but I didn’t know when we would eat lunch that day so I wanted to be full for the whole morning. We ended up eating Pizza Hut buffet for lunch, and that was my downfall. The salad bar was “meh” at best and I chose thin crust pizza when I could. But since it was a buffet, I went back for more. I was tired and discouraged, so I very illogically threw in the towel for the day and got more pizza and some pasta and some cinnamon bread sticks. I didn’t track any of it. It seems like this whole week has been a struggle, which is disheartening considering how well I’ve been doing the last few weeks.

The upside is that tomorrow starts a new week for me so I can start with a clean slate. The downside is that Sunday is my birthday and I’ma be pissed if I don’t have a cherry cheesecake waiting for me at some point. I don’t even want regular cake (I had enough of that during my son’s birthday last month), but I figure a cheesecake is small enough that I can have one slice and everyone else can have a slice and we can all be done with it. So that’s my plan – a very loosey goosey plan, but a plan nonetheless.

I haven’t been exercising, which is probably just adding to my annoyed-ness. All the 5k races that I ran last year are coming up again and I just have absolutely zero desire to run. I feel bad that I’m going to miss out on all the excitement that a 5k brings, but I can’t even remember the last time I ran…let alone trained for a race. I don’t even want to walk in any races. I don’t even want to walk on my treadmill. I don’t want to do anything unless it involves sitting on my couch or lying in my bed. Basically I just want to sleep a lot, that’s all I really WANT to do. I know I need to exercise, I know it would give me more energy, blah blah blah, but I just DON’T WANT TO. I don’t even know why. It just feels like ONE MORE THING that I need to do that I don’t really want to do – along with dishes, laundry, and balancing my checkbook.

I think I need a vacation. Preferably somewhere warm with an ocean view and a cabana boy who will rub my shoulders. Oh and it needs to be free because this economy is killing my style. Isn’t there someone out there who would love to give me an all-inclusive vacation for my birthday? I totally wouldn’t hate that. At all.

So anyway, yeah. I’ll probably skip my weigh-in tomorrow because I have a full day of chauffeuring the kids around and I just don’t think I’ll be able to make it to my regular meeting, but I would sort of prefer to pretend this week never happened anyway. I’ll start fresh tomorrow and go from there. That’s about the best I can do right now.

My blog: the place you come to for whining and complaining. Such a warm and welcoming place! Please have a seat and listen to me cry into my coffee, won’t you?

 

 

 

 

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