a la Juice

She steals from me, I steal from her – it’s all good. We love each other!  🙂 So in honor of her, here’s my post in bullet point form because I just don’t feel like putting it together all prosey-like.

  • C25k Week3Day2 is scheduled for this afternoon.  Day 1 almost killed me because I was running uphill against the wind. I’d like to run outdoors again today, but I’m super tired and my allergies are wreaking havoc on my body and whine whine whine, so I might just go to the gym (that I don’t belong to) and run on the indoor track (but if I need to lock something up, it’s okay because now I have my combo lock in my purse).
  • My job is seriously getting on my nerves. Normally I process about 200 work orders per month. This month we are already at 250 and it’s only the 15th!! And my boss just told me about some new things I have to do while processing said work orders, so that just adds to the time it takes to get them done. I am so far behind that in order to get caught up, God is going to have issue extra hours into a couple of my days.  And yet, here I sit blogging.  le sigh.
  • The work move has been postponed because apparently it’s just too difficult to get an internet connection where we are moving, even though it’s only ONE MILE AWAY.  Seriously? Can we take something that’s not complicated and turn it into a huge-freaking-deal? Can we please do that, cause I would like that. A lot.
  • Speaking of crappy work, I just discovered this blog today. Go read it and see if your boss is as bad as hers.
  • I am in a mood today (No! Really?) and it’s because I’ve gotten less than 7 hours of sleep every night so far this week. Not enough sleep sucks. Big time.
  • In related news, I’m a big baby.
  • I am currently very unhappy with the state of my life. I spend all week playing catch up at work and then on the weekends I spend the whole time playing catch up (cleaning, laundry, etc).  This is not a fun way to live.
  • In related news, I’m a big whiny baby.
  • I need a nap.
  • And more coffee.
  • And some pretty shoes. I like shoes.
  • And a cabana boy name Enrique who will do my bidding and bring me margaritas and massage my shoulders and tell me how smart and funny and beautiful I am. All day long.
  • I guess I’ll go get more coffee, since all that other stuff isn’t going to happen anytime soon.
  • le sigh.

Oh, Enrigque, where are you when I need you?

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Of Peacocks and Pigs

I can’t believe it’s been almost a week since I posted. These days sure do go by fast!

Couch to 5K is going well. I start week 3 this week, and I’m actually looking forward to it. I counted up my C25K weeks against my weeks till the 5k, and I’ll be short a week on C25k. That is, I’ll be finishing week 8 when it’s race time, so I’m not sure if I should skip forward a week or just keep the same schedule and hope for the best come race day. I figure if I can make it to week 8, I’ll be okay and I can walk some of the 5k if I need to. I’m not really worried about it (yet).

Saturday was a crazy day full of exercise – I had to take my car into the shop to get a really embarrassing squeak looked at (U joints) so I had the repair guy drop me off at the gym while they looked at my car. I had my big peacock purse with me (it’s a beautiful bag and the colors and patterns remind me of a peacock), and I didn’t feel comfortable leaving it in the car while a man I barely knew drove away with my car AND my purse, so I took it with me. However, when I got to the gym I didn’t know what to do with my purse. I originally wanted to run outside because it was a gorgeous day out (although a bit windy), but I didn’t want to stash my purse in a bush or something, because, well hello it was outside and who hides their purse in a bush while they run? So I opted to run on the indoor track, but again…the purse issue. So I asked the girl at the desk if I could just leave my purse behind the desk for a half hour – nope, not allowed to do that, so I asked about renting a locker. I could get a locker but it had to have a lock, which of course I didn’t have, because who carries a lock with them (um, I do NOW, but Saturday I didn’t)? So I had to purchase a combination lock for $6 in addition to paying $2 for the privilege of walking on their track (because I’m not a member). So eight bucks later, I’m finally running sans purse and jacket and hat and sunglasses, and now I have a big ole combo lock in my purse in case I ever run into a situation where I need to lock something up in a hurry.

I did my W2D3 run and as soon as I finished that, the repair shop called and said they knew what the problem was, but it would take about an hour and a half to fix it. So here I am, stuck at a gym I don’t belong to, with all this time to kill and no transportation. I didn’t feel right calling the repair shop to come and get me, and I’m too proud to ask a stranger for a ride, so I decided to suck it up and hoof it back to the shop. I figured that by the time I got there, they would be close to being finished. Now, my town is not a pedestrian sort of town, so you don’t see a lot of people walking through town except for the occasional preteen or homeless person – you certainly don’t see sporty chic mom types with their big ole peacock purses walking along the side walk. To say I felt self conscious is an understatement, but luckily my best friend called me so I talked to her while I walked (she lives in Montana) and before I knew it, I was at the repair shop. And the funny thing is, it only took me a half hour to walk all through the main street in town – I swore it was like 4 miles, the hubs thinks it’s more like 1 mile. Anyway, it wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be and I killed the remaining time at Walgreen’s which is right next door to the repair shop. So for an hour and a half on Saturday morning, I jogged and walked. FOR AN HOUR AND A HALF!! And I got some great bamboo spoons and spatulas from Walgreen’s. So all in all it was a very productive morning!

I have decided that I’m a nibbler, and this is killing my weight loss efforts. I cooked a ham and every time I walked into the kitchen for the rest of the weekend, I had to nibble on a piece of ham. So today I am bloated and feel like Porky Pig (oh, ha-ha!! Ham…and Porky Pig!! Hahahahahahaha!!!). I guess I’ll be guzzling water all day to get rid of the extra salt – I hope it works. Any other nibblers out there? How do you keep the nibbling in check??

It's getting all loony up in here.

Okay, well you guys have a good Monday!! 🙂

Admit it, Mustangs are cool.

Hey remember yesterday when I said I was cutting out sugar? Let’s all have a good laugh at that one. Ready?

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

(deep breath in)

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!

The Hindenjill crashes spectacularly.

Oh, wow. I don’t think the Hindenburg crashed as fast as I did yesterday. I got 13 hours into my sugar free path and then I caved to the call of The Chocolate Eggs. And the Key Lime Pie. And a brownie. I seriously white-knuckled it for a few hours and then I just gave it up. So obviously I’m not ready to give up the sweets entirely, which is fine with me, really. I don’t think a couple of pieces of dark chocolate every day are going to kill me (think of all the antioxidants I’ll be getting!) so I’ll just stick with that as my treat for now.

I was thinking last night about my whole issue with counting calories, and I had a thought that kind of startled me. I was pondering why I have such a hard time with it and why I get so frustrated when I’m doing it. I think that when I’m counting calories I get really frustrated because I always seem to go over, and I feel like I can’t stay within my allotted calorie range (that word allotted makes me uncomfortable too – we’ll discuss that in a sec) and that makes me feel like a failure. Usually when I go over, it’s due to poor food choices (Key Lime Pie would be a good example here) and it makes me angry that I choose to eat these things when I KNOW it’s not going to help me get any closer to my goal weight. Seeing my bad choices on paper is like LOOKING IN THE MIRROR AND NOT LIKING WHAT I SEE. I have worked hard to get over my body image issues, so when I see my poor food choices on paper, it’s like going back and beating myself up for having large thighs. I think that’s a completely useless and unnecessary feeling. I also think that knowledge is power, so knowing how many calories I’m consuming in a day could be a really helpful tool, but how do I get over this calorie-image issue? Not sure how to conquer this one.

On a related note, having an “allotted” calorie range makes me feel confined – sort of along the lines of “you’re not the boss of me”. It’s my inner brat, I know, but again, I’m not sure how to shut her up. I imagine it’s how a wild mustang feels being penned up in a corral (yes I just compared myself to a wild mustang – hee!). There’s a stubborn streak in there that needs to be broken because it is, I believe, the reason I sabotage myself over and over again. Geez, you would think that being almost 40 years old, I’d be over all this “I’m acting like a 2 year old” stuff, but I guess I’m not. Gotta love human nature!

I only wish I were this cool.

We are moving our offices at work later this week, so I might be absent for a few days. I think this move is going to be good for me. We are moving out of the plant into a nice little office building, so this means I will no longer have to dress like a construction worker (I wear jeans and boots/tennis shoes every day) and I’ll be able to wear skirts and flip flops if I want! I’m so excited – SQUEEEEE!!!!

Today after work I’m going to do W2D2 of C25k. I think I’m going to go the gym and run on the indoor track because it is super windy out there today and I just don’t have the energy to fight it. I didn’t make time to get all my stuff together last night, so I’ll have to go home and change first, which could be very detrimental to my run. But if I don’t do the run tonight, it will screw up my whole training schedule, so I have to do it. Maybe I’ll send myself a reminder through my phone to GET IT DONE.

Have a good Tuesday everyone! 🙂

65%

I feel like I need to blog something but I really don’t have time right now.

I’m feeling better – not roughing it so much, but still not 100%. More like 65%, but I’m getting there.

Have completed Day 2 of Week 1 of C25k.  Loved the run last night – felt good, but I still worry that I look like a squatty duck when I run. Maybe if I lengthen my stride I will look less duckish?

 

Tons of useless boring work to be done. And apparently I’m just the woman to do it.  😦

Roughin’ it

I won’t lie. I’m having a rough time, y’all.  For the last 6 nights my 4 yo has woken up in the middle of the night with a cough. The allergy-drainage cough that just won’t quit. Every night around 2 am, I end up awake for about an hour trying everything to soothe her cough, but last night my son also started coughing, and then lo and behold, to put the icing on the cake, Shawn decided to start snoring.

It was not a good night. And if you’ve been reading me for a while, you know that I do not do well on little sleep.

You know that scene in The Divine Secrets of the YaYa Sisterhood where Ashley Judd’s character just can. not. take. it. another day and she drives to a motel and just s l e e p s. For days.  Honestly, sometimes that’s what I want to do. Just run away and sleep until I cannot sleep anymore. I don’t want to leave my family, but having several days to just sleep would do my soul a world of good.

the part I’m referring to starts at around minute 6

I am slowly coming out of my pity-party, due to a few different (I believe) divinely inspired people.  I have signed up for a 5k in May. Normally I wouldn’t have signed up without attempting some semblance of training first, but this is for a good cause. There is a 19 year old boy in my town who is fighting cancer, and some of his friends have organized a 5k race in which the proceeds will go directly to him to help with the medical bills, which are staggering as you can well imagine. My friend Lynn told me about the race and I decided to sign up and attempt to RUN.  I’m going to start training this weekend with C25k. I hope that focusing on someone’s REAL pain will get me out of my own selfish world.

Another divine intervention came from Karly at First Ourselves.com. Karly is one of those women whose passion in life is teaching other women to value themselves. I started reading her blog a few years ago and now the blog has morphed into a whole website full of information about healing body image issues, overeating issues, and (ta-da) sugar addiction issues.  I hadn’t talked to Karly in a while, but she was on my mind A LOT one day and so I went over to her website to poke around.  Later that day, I check my inbox and whose email was waiting in my inbox? That’s right, Karly’s. I don’t know if she knew that I had been on the site, but to get an email from her was wonderful in a freaky kind of way ( I believe the term she used was “synchronicity”, a word that rolls off the tongue easily and also reminds me of The Police circa early 1980’s).  She has an e-book about sugar addiction that I think I’m going to check out, and actually she has a whole program set up for overcoming sugar addiction if you want to check it out here.  I think I need to seriously explore my relationship with sugar because something’s gotta give. Something in me is off-kilter and I need it fixed, and I have a sneaking suspicion that sugar is playing a big role in my off-kilter-ness.

And another run in with another blogger happened just this morning. Jenn left a comment on my last post and these words from her sparked a bit of an “aha” moment in me. She said

Every time in a place where things are rolling along so “even” I start to worry b/c I know the valley will inevitably come regardless if the mountain appears in the moment to never end. My hope is with time the valleys will be fewer and not as deep.

It was the last sentence that caught me. My all-or-nothing thinking has me believing that if  I’m not UP and EVEN all the time, then  I’m failing miserably. Leveling out the mountains and valleys I think is what I need to work on. I went over the Jenn’s blog and fell in love instantly. The name of her blog is Girl Heroes – how great is that?!?! Go over and check her out.  I think she might be MY new hero (and I don’t mean that in a creepy stalkerish way, I just mean that I think I could learn something from her).  🙂

So that’s where I am right now. Not great, but working on it, and hopefully I’ll get out of this funk when I can sleep in this weekend.  Thanks for putting up with me!  🙂

Thanks

Hey ya’ll.Thanks so much for all of your hugs and condolences. I really do appreciate each and every one of you. I’m doing much better – just needed a break from the blog for a few days.

Not much has been going on. I started C25k again yesterday. I finally found a podcast that would work with my mp3 player (most of the others wouldn’t work, don’t know why) and it makes it soooooo much easier. Hopefully I’ll be able to stick with it this time. I’ve never gotten past Week 4, so we’ll see what happens.

I’ve decided that I am a maintaining machine. I can maintain the same weight for weeks. Now, if I could just lose these last 20, I’ll be golden, hence the C25k. Since the weather has warmed up a bit, I’m more motivated to get outside and move. I even spent some time weeding the flower bed yesterday after my run.

Completely off subject – why do they call it “weeding”? Shouldn’t it be deweeding? Weeding makes it sound like you are putting weeds in, not taking them out. Just something I’ve always wondered…

Anyway, Debby has mentioned the book 100 Day of Weight Loss by Linda Spangler, which I have, but I also have one of hers called Life is Hard, Food is Easy and I happened to flip to a page that suggests you take a look at what has worked for you in the past and try doing that again. Last summer when I lost 33 pounds, I was walking 30 minutes everyday, eating lots of protein, and eating smaller portions of everything else. I was also taking app suppressants, but I really and truly feel that the exercise and diet is what led me to the weight loss. The only thing I’m not doing is weighing in in front of the Nurse Nazi – and let me tell you that was a BIG motivator to eat well and work out regularly. I need to find some way to have that kind of pressure, because honestly, I do my best work when I’m under pressure. Not sure how I’m going to come up with something like that, but I know it was a big part of my success.

Okay well that’s all I can think of for now. Have a great Monday!

Cue Rocky theme music

I think I must be searching for something. Today I came this close to purchasing two different online programs that promised to turn my life around. These two programs offered New! and Special! ways to make me a better, happier, fitter person. I almost bought into it –  almost. Then I realized that if anyone is going to turn my life around, it has to be me. I know myself better than anyone else, so who better to guide Jill to a happier, fuller life than Jill herself? If my life is going to change, I am the one who has to change it. And let’s get real here, by my life I really mean my weight. I’ll be honest, the only thing I want to change is my weight – I love the hubs, my kids, my job, etc. Excess fat on my tushie is the only thing I don’t love in my life right now, but I am eating better and moving more, so hopefully that will take care of itself in the near future. Yeah, I’m on the right track, just gotta remember to stay on it.

I didn’t do W4D1 Tuesday night. For one, the kids were unusually demanding and the hub wasn’t home to help, and then there was the laundry and American Idol… anyone buying this so far?  You want to know the real reason I didn’t run Tuesday night? I was scared. I was afraid that running for 5 whole minutes at a time would be too much for me and I didn’t want to fail. I have really enjoyed myself so far with C25K, and I didn’t want that feeling to end, so I made up excuse after excuse why I didn’t have time to run. I woke up Wednesday morning and I was really mad at myself for not doing it. I was really disappointed in myself for not even trying! Sooooo, last night I laced up my runners and I sucked it up and I did it!! I completed the entire work out and during my last 5 minute run, I found my rhythm and it was the just the BEST!!! I really honestly didn’t believe I could do it until I did it. Woohoo!! So now I am back on track and feeling really good about it, and I can’t wait to run again tomorrow.  Hmmm, I wonder what else I can do that I think I can’t??