The Sassy Pear

Finding my way through my forties

Believe it — May 17, 2012

Believe it

Let’s play a little game today. Trust me it’s fun as well as enlightening!

First a question: What do you believe is holding you back from achieving your goals or getting the results you want?

Do you have your answer? Take a moment to think about it if you like, I’ll wait…

Got it? Good.

(For me,  I don’t really, honestly, truly, deep down in my believer, believe that I can lose this weight. Which is sad, but I really think this is it.)

Second, imagine flipping that around and saying “I DO believe I can lose this extra weight” (or you can say the opposite of whatever your answer is).

Now, here’s the cool part…think about how you would FEEL if you did believe the flipped-around version of your answer. Close your eyes and really focus on the emotions you would have if you truly believed it. What would those emotions be?  And what would the resulting actions be?

For example, how would I feel if I KNEW I could lose this extra weight?  How would that impact my actions?

If I believed (and I mean 100% believed) I could lose this weight, I would feel like nothing could stop me. I wouldn’t question whether or not I could consistently exercise or consistently make healthy choices when eating, I would just do it. I would always have my goal in the back of my mind influencing my decisions and it would be rather simple to make the best possible choice in the moment.

So maybe instead of relying on my actions to get me to my goal, I should instead rely on BELIEVING I can do it which will in turn lead to the actions needed to make that goal a reality.

I’ve been doing this backwards for 16 years. Most of you probably have been doing it backwards too. It’s time to take a different approach, don’t you think?

Edited to add: I wrote this post last week and since then, I have been focusing on BELIEVING I can lose the weight and have peace with food. I’ve using some techniques (that I’ll post about later) to help cement this belief in my head, and you know what? IT’S WORKING. I’m starting to truly believe that I CAN do it, and as a result I’ve been eating better and working out has more meaning – and it’s not such a struggle to do either one. This whole idea elaborates on what my guest poster was talking about in this post. 

Did you do this exercise? And if you did, what emotions came up for you? If you want to share, feel free in the comments. Also, anyone else have Journey’s Don’t Stop Believing stuck in their head after reading this? 😉

Overcome Binge Eating (Guest Post) — May 14, 2012

Overcome Binge Eating (Guest Post)

Hey guys! Remember when I talked about the BED ebook I was going through? Well the author of that ebook, Stefanie Nielsen, has agreed to do a guest post which touches on the core of her coaching program. This has been very helpful to me and I thought it might be for some of you as well, so enjoy! 


You’ve had a bad day with food! Okay… maybe it’s been a bad two weeks or two months. And you’ve started feeling frustrated and you’re ready for a change.

I’ve been there and these are thoughts that would go through my mind:

  • “Tomorrow will be different”.
  • “I just need the right diet plan to get started.”
  • “I just need to have more will power.”
  • “I’ll start doing these right ‘tomorrow’ morning.”

But what happens when tomorrow comes?

More often than not, it’s not perfect. You ‘screw’ up and ‘tomorrow’ is put off until ‘tomorrow’ again.

Overcoming binge eating, emotional eating, compulsive overeating, and other eating patterns is more than just ‘willing’ yourself to stop. It’s a process that is physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual.

When you focus on only the physical aspect (diet, exercise, and what your body looks like) you end up cycling back and forth between being ‘on the wagon’ and ‘falling off’. It creates the battle within yourself of being ‘good’ or being ‘bad’. It becomes an endless cycle of self judgement and criticism that fuels overeating and in turn restricting.

You may be thinking, “Well if a diet and exercise program aren’t going to ‘fix me’ – then what is?! I need to stop this NOW.”

The truth is that YOU’RE NOT BROKEN – you never were and you don’t need to be ‘fixed’.

We’ve all been taught that actions get results right? That is why when we need to make a change we focus on our actions.

While actions do create results… have you ever stopped to think about what creates your actions?

  • What makes you want to eating everything in sight when you’re stressed?
  • Why can’t you seem to stop eating even after you’re full?
  • Why do you continually do things even though your inner voice is begging you not to?

Beneath the level of action are your emotions, thoughts, and beliefs. If you were building a house, it would go something like this…

  • Your EMOTIONS are your WALLS.
  • And your ROOF is your ACTIONS.
  • All these culminate into the structure of your ‘house’ or your RESULTS.

You cannot build a house that will withstand the storms of life without a proper foundation. The foundation is where you start if you want to create lasting changes in ANY area of your life.

Change must come at the level of your beliefs and thoughts in order for your emotions, actions, and results to shift.

If you are ready to create this shift in your own life; be sure to get signed up for the FREE CALLS that will be happening on Tuesday May 15th 2012.

Stefanie Nielsen is no stranger to emotional eating, depression, poor self-image, negative self-talk, and binge eating.  She has experienced them all and has found her way to the ‘other side’.  She has shifted her life into one of discovery, strength, and clarity.  Stefanie is also a S.W.A.T. Certified Personal Empowerment Coach.

Have questions or comments for Stefanie? Leave them in the comments or email me and I’ll make sure she gets them! 

Thinking out loud — August 23, 2010

Thinking out loud

Trying to do a little self-analysis here, mainly thinking out loud, so bear with me.

This morning I weighed in at 170 pounds*. I’ve gained back a lot of the weight in the last 6 months. I think there are 2 things contributing to this, one outside of me, the other inside of me.

Thing #1 – I have some “issues” with a coworker which started back in February. It is very awkward and uncomfortable being around this coworker and I try to avoid him as much as possible. When I am at work, I feel a low level of stress ALL THE TIME. I don’t know how to resolve this issue without quitting my job, and honestly right now I cannot afford to quit. I think this has something to do with my binge eating for the last few months and the subsequent weight gain.

Thing #2 – Working backwards here, I’ve been bingeing a lot, eating things that I normally would not touch with a ten foot pole. I feel bloated, tired, sluggish. I have a sort of attitude where food is concerned which I think can be attributed to my lack of exercise. I haven’t exercised in months.  I still think of exercise as a weight-loss activity instead of an antidepressant-mood-lifting-self-esteem-building activity. I think it would do me a world of good to sweat out the stress and anxiety I’ve been feeling – use exercise as a way to deal instead of a way to burn calories. I love yoga, but it’s not the sweaty steady movement kind of yoga, it’s more about technique and doing the poses separately.  Zumba class starts next Tuesday, but I think I might start walking or getting on the elliptical this week because I need the brain boost NOW.

I’m toying with logging my food, but that always seems to lead me into CrazyDietLand, so I’m really hesitant to do that. I”m really fighting the urge to take action NOW – jump headfirst into a PLAN! and get these pounds off. However, I want to do things differently, so I guess that means being patient and working on the emotional stuff. I do think some cardio would be good for me, so I’m going to try and do that this week.

*I’ve decided to weigh myself once a week on Mondays, yes Mondays so I can get a true assessment of just how much damage I’m doing to myself.

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