Re-entry is harrdd!

What’s the worst thing about being back at work after vacation? Pants.

Especially when your knees look like this:

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These legs haven’t seen the light of day for years, as evidenced by the fact that it took 3.2 seconds to burn.

and when you’ve gotten used to running around in shorts, which is why I’m wearing a skirt today. Believe it or not, I wore a ton of sunscreen but I waited 15 minutes too long one day…a mistake I shall not make again.

So, so crispy. Ouch.

We had a nice vacation on the lake, and for the first time in a long time, I actually felt like I got to really relaaaaaax on vacation. A lot of times, when you’re the mom, a vacation isn’t really a vacation – it’s all the same mom-duties in a different place, but this year my kids (my youngest especially) are old enough that they don’t need my constant attention so I was able to just…be. I spent hours simply bobbing up and down on my floatie on the water…it was bliss! One evening we took the boat out on the water and watched the sun set as we floated along – it was perfect.

One thing I noticed that was different about this vacation than vacations of yore – I didn’t eat my way through the whole week. Typically, during the down times I would eat out of boredom or just because I could, but this time I pretty much stuck to 3 meals and maybe one snack – we spent most of our time on the water and when we were back in the RV, I was just chilling or reading. For the first time in probably ever, I didn’t feel the need to fill my time with food. Quite frankly, I’m astonished. Pleased and astonished.

Also, according to my Fitbit and my phone’s health app, I was much more active this week than usual (which of course, because usually I’m sitting behind a desk for 40 hours a week). We went on a 6 mile float trip one day, lots of swimming, some hiking, and on the day it rained, we hit a mall and shopped for 4.5 hours, so yeah…much more activity than usual.

And also, being who I am, there were plenty of naps. Glorious, wonderful, naps.

I would love to keep my active streak going, but when you live in the devil’s oven (thanks Oklahoma heat & humidity!) being outside is painful – it’s hot and sweaty and hard to breathe and just not a fun time at all*, so I’m going to have to figure out a way to get my activity done indoors. YouTube and DVDs will probably be the way to go until this heat breaks.

For your viewing pleasure, here are a few pics from said vacation because who doesn’t love seeing pictures from other people’s vacations??? *snicker*

 

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Taking a break from rafting to dip in the river. This water was cold!

 

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Husband, son, and I.

 

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Rare sighting of my girls actually getting along.

 

*my landscaper-husband is most likely shaking his head and calling me a wuss right now. He spends approximately 800 hours outside in this heat every day. Ugh. 

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Spring Break

Hey Howdy Hey!

I took a few days of vacation last week because my kids were on spring break, but what I didn’t realize is that I needed a spring break myself. Man, it felt good to just relax and do whatever I wanted without feeling a time crunch. I have to say, I really enjoyed not working. 🙂

But now I’m back to the grind and we are officially in the End of the School Year frenzy. My kids will be out for summer vacation in 8 short weeks and oh by the way when did it become MARCH??? Does anyone else still feel like it should be November???

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We have a few more weekend volleyball tournaments, and my youngest just made the middle school cheer squad so her practices are already starting, and I’m considering taking a creative writing course because…well just because I want to. So Busy Busy Busy around these here Pear parts.

Here are some things coming down the pike on the Pear (don’t let me forget to blog about these!):

  • I’m having fun experimenting with various aspects of my life in regards to cooking, exercising, even makeup!
  • Tasty Instant Pot recipes
  • I’ve discovered the joy and ease of a capsule wardrobe (on a budget, no less)
  • Changes from then to now – things I used to do/think/feel and how I no longer do/think/feel them

These are just a few topics that have been rolling around in the bloggy part of my brain. Now to just get them into the computer!

I have let myself go

It’s not that I didn’t already know this, but I’ve never really said those exact words to myself before.

I made this realization as I was standing in the dressing room of my local The Walmarts last week (and that sad fact right there should be proof enough) when I sort of caught a glimpse of myself and thought “Wow, I have really let myself go.”

It wasn’t a sad thought or a Mean Girl thought – it was just the realization of a fact. I have indeed let myself go.

When I was little, I remember looking at photographs of older family members and seeing how thin they were when they were young women and then seeing more photos of when they were older and plumper.I thought it was sad that they had once been so beautiful and young and then later they just “let themselves go”.  I vowed to myself that I would never let that happen to me because when I was a kid, fat was not something you wanted to grow up to be.

I am the perfect example of fear manifesting itself into reality.

I can laugh at this now because it’s sort of the same thing as having a friend with no kids trying to tell you how to raise yours. If I could go back to my younger self I’d laugh and say “Oh just you wait, kiddo. You have no idea. You have no idea how often you will eat your feelings or how you’ll be too exhausted from chasing toddlers to work out or how later perimenopause will screw with your metabolism. You have no idea how fast those pounds will pack on once you get a boring desk job and how lunch and snack time will be the highlight of your day for those 8 hours. And to soothe yourself after a long frustrating day at work, you’ll partake in a 1,000+ calorie binge and still eat dinner an hour and a half later. You just really have no idea.”

I let myself go. But honestly, it’s not something I could have stopped even if I wanted to (but I really, really wanted to – hello, 20 years of dieting) because I just didn’t know what I didn’t know: that an hour of talking on the phone with my best friend is way more satisfying than eating a dozen cookies; that taking a walk after work is more fulfilling than a binge; that letting my husband and kids help out does lower my stress level because ultimately it’s not “just easier to do it myself”.

Little by little, day by day, I’m learning more and reclaiming what I lost. I’m learning to love vegetables, I’m learning to cook, I’m learning to love exercise more for what it can do for my brain than my body. I’m learning that taking time for myself yields some serious dividends and that once in a while you really do just need to Treat Yo’Self.

So yeah, I let myself go, but I’m getting myself back.

Off the beaten path

 

I have no goals. I don’t have any goals to “get me through” the holiday season. I don’t have a plan, I don’t have a timetable, I don’t have an ulterior motive for skipping the desserts.

 

For this Christmas 2010, I’m not going to plan my foods, or get in some extra exercise. I’m not going to follow any rules for keeping holiday weight gain in check or follow anything that says “lose 10 pounds by New Year’s Eve!”

 

This year, for this holiday season, I’m going to enjoy myself. Contrary to what you may think, that doesn’t mean I’m going to plant myself face first into the buffet during Christmas dinner. No it actually means that I’m not going to stuff myself silly, because when I am overstuffed, I’m not so much enjoying myself. That feeling is not fun for me anymore, and Pepto is not a good dessert.

So I’m going to eat what I want, when I want, but I won’t be cramming peanut butter balls into my pie hole (candy hole?) for a week. Same goes with all the other Christmas goodies I baked over the weekend. I’ve had a few small pieces here and there, but they are so rich that any more than that and I start to feel ill.

I will partake of all the goodness the season has to offer (food and otherwise) and not feel guilty about any of it.

Do I recommend we all do this? Well, no. If your mojo is strong and you are riding high on the success train, then please stay on track!  If staying away from the pecan pie is a small personal victory for you, then more power to you! I applaud you and your mojo.

But for myself, this season is about ditching the shame, the guilt, the need to “do it right”. This is about me RELAXING. This is about me pushing the weight loss effort aside so I can just be me without the overcoat of “I should”. I can’t do that if I’m freaking out about the calorie count of 3 Christmas cookies.

So forgive me if this offends your sensibilities, but we each have to find our own way. Unfortunately I’m finding that my way is off the beaten path. But really, I kind of like it like that.  😉

 

 

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The bubbles…they call to me.

Just a quick to post to say that I’m still around, hanging out and doing my thing. I have to go to Houston tomorrow for a work thing, but I’ll be back on Friday night. If you don’t mind, say a little prayer for safe travels for me, will ya? Thanks.

I’m feeling kind of nervous about leaving the hubs and kiddos. Normally I would be all “WOO HOO! MAMA DOESN’T HAVE TO COOK DINNER FOR 4 WHOLE NIGHTS!!!” but I’m kind of sad about leaving my ducklings. I know the hubs will take very good care of them – he’s extremely capable, but still.  Sort of wish they could all come with me.

But then again, I’m really looking forward to watching TV in a big bed all by myself after taking a hot bubble bath at the hotel.

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Aw yeah.

 

See ya later, sweet taters!!  🙂

Aw, some bloggy love!

The lovely and talented Soccer Mom gave me this award the other day, and I’m just now getting around to thanking her properly for it.  Thank you SoccerMom – you rock my socks off!!  🙂

The stipulations of this award are that you have to answer a few questions that the Award-er makes up, so without further ado, here are my answers:

1. How do you define happiness?    Happiness is being content with everything around you. Happiness is appreciating the current moment for what it is.


2. Happiest childhood memory.   Wow – I have a lot of memories to choose from. Playing with my friends, falling asleep while grandma rubbed my back, getting my teddy bear for my 6th birthday (I still have that bear, btw).


3. What”s harder to have? To have loved once and let it go or to have NOT loved at all? That’s a toughie. Both of them are incredibly painful and take a long time to make peace with. I call it a draw.


4. What brings a smile to your face? Listening to my 5 year old explain her theories on life.  She has a lot of imagination!


5. Something you have not yet done, that would make you happy?  Spending an entire weekend with my best friend in our old college town, drinking margaritas and reminiscing. Good times, good times.


So there you have it!  Now it’s my turn to give this award to a few friends, and I’m going to give this award to:

Debby – because the blogosphere would be a dark and lonely place without her!

MB – because she has been reading my blog for a long time and she always has great words of wisdom.

Pubsgal – because just like MB, she’s been around here for awhile and she does triathlons – she just super awesome.

Okay here are the questions:

  1. What do you do in the privacy of your own home that you would NEVER do in front of anyone?
  2. If you could be someone else for one day, who would it be?
  3. What’s the bravest/scariest thing you’ve ever done?

Have a great Thursday gang!  🙂

Joyeux anniversaire a moi!

 

Today I am spending the morning at a spa for a well deserved and much longed for massage and mani/pedi. After that, I’m going to have lunch with my husband at an eating establishment of my choosing, and then I’m going shopping for summer dresses and too-cute sandals.  If I have time, I’ll stop by my favorite thrift and antique stores and spend some precious time browsing. In other words, I’m taking the day OFF.

 

 

Happy Birthday to ME!!