The Sassy Pear

Finding my way through my forties

Invoking the curse — September 18, 2010

Invoking the curse

I’m sorta scared to post for fear of invoking The Curse. You know The Curse, right? The Blog Curse – the curse that comes when you post about how great you are doing and things are swimming along just fine and then the next day BAM! It all goes to heck. You start eating Twinkies and forgoing your workouts so you can watch Jerry Springer. Yeah, THAT curse.


So for the next paragraph I’m going to tell you the opposite of how I’m doing because I’m superstitious like that.

Ahem. So things are rough right now. I’m just so confused and I’m learning absolutely nothing from Karly’s course Untangled. I feel awful – the worst I’ve felt in a long time. Boo hoo, woe is me!!

Okay never mind. Opposite blogging is too confusing, so curse be damned! I’m going to tell you what’s really going on. I’m actually in a really good place right now. I’m learning a lot about some of the false beliefs I have held for a long time and trying s l o w l y to change those beliefs. I’m feeling pretty good and mostly happy. Oh, and I’ve been getting plenty of sleep – which is probably the best thing I’ve done for myself in a long time. Still doing yoga once a week, trying to fit in the Zumba class but it’s held at a time that doesn’t fit in to my schedule very well, so I’m hoping they add another class. All in all I’m good.

I thought I should post some recent pictures because I don’t want everyone to think that I still look the same as my picture to the right over there. Fifteen pounds goes all over, ya know? So here’s what I looked like about 7 hours ago:

I was cracking myself up trying to take this pic.

And here’s a face shot, cause, I don’t know it just seemed necessary:

My phone is super cute, but the camera sucks.

And while I was in the bathroom trying to take the above picture, I noticed that my curls were especially luscious today. I took a picture of them because I love them so much. I love my curly hair.

It's curlicious!!

It amazes me that my hair curls like this all on its very own. Crazy what the hormones can do!

So anyway, that’s about it for me. Really not much going on. For the six of you who read this rag, when you don’t hear from me, it usually means that things are fine. When things are not going well, I dump it all out here on the blog. Lucky you. Guess that’s why I only have six readers!  😉

a la Juice — April 15, 2010

a la Juice

She steals from me, I steal from her – it’s all good. We love each other!  🙂 So in honor of her, here’s my post in bullet point form because I just don’t feel like putting it together all prosey-like.

  • C25k Week3Day2 is scheduled for this afternoon.  Day 1 almost killed me because I was running uphill against the wind. I’d like to run outdoors again today, but I’m super tired and my allergies are wreaking havoc on my body and whine whine whine, so I might just go to the gym (that I don’t belong to) and run on the indoor track (but if I need to lock something up, it’s okay because now I have my combo lock in my purse).
  • My job is seriously getting on my nerves. Normally I process about 200 work orders per month. This month we are already at 250 and it’s only the 15th!! And my boss just told me about some new things I have to do while processing said work orders, so that just adds to the time it takes to get them done. I am so far behind that in order to get caught up, God is going to have issue extra hours into a couple of my days.  And yet, here I sit blogging.  le sigh.
  • The work move has been postponed because apparently it’s just too difficult to get an internet connection where we are moving, even though it’s only ONE MILE AWAY.  Seriously? Can we take something that’s not complicated and turn it into a huge-freaking-deal? Can we please do that, cause I would like that. A lot.
  • Speaking of crappy work, I just discovered this blog today. Go read it and see if your boss is as bad as hers.
  • I am in a mood today (No! Really?) and it’s because I’ve gotten less than 7 hours of sleep every night so far this week. Not enough sleep sucks. Big time.
  • In related news, I’m a big baby.
  • I am currently very unhappy with the state of my life. I spend all week playing catch up at work and then on the weekends I spend the whole time playing catch up (cleaning, laundry, etc).  This is not a fun way to live.
  • In related news, I’m a big whiny baby.
  • I need a nap.
  • And more coffee.
  • And some pretty shoes. I like shoes.
  • And a cabana boy name Enrique who will do my bidding and bring me margaritas and massage my shoulders and tell me how smart and funny and beautiful I am. All day long.
  • I guess I’ll go get more coffee, since all that other stuff isn’t going to happen anytime soon.
  • le sigh.

Oh, Enrigque, where are you when I need you?

This is what happens when I get less than 6 hours of sleep. — March 16, 2010

This is what happens when I get less than 6 hours of sleep.

I just noticed that not only do I have lipstick on my teeth but also a seed from the “strawberries” in Special K with Red Berries stuck in my teeth. Nice. And why do they call them Red Berries? Are they admitting that they aren’t real strawberries? Because I would have believed them if they had told me they were real strawberries. Now that I think of it, what are those things anyway????  And here’s another weird thing:  I got much less sleep last night than the night before, yet I’m strangely wide awake today. What up wif dat?

Focus, Jill, FOCUS!!

Anyway, so I would like to lose another 20 pounds, but in order to do this, I think I need to really ramp up my exercise BIG TIME.  A half hour on the elliptical a few days a week just doesn’t seem to be cutting  it like it did a couple of years ago. I think I need to get my sweat on for at least an hour a few days per week, but I’m not sure what to do. The elliptical is so convenient, and the money for a gym membership is just not there right now, but I think I could swing one or two classes per week. There is a yoga class on Tuesday nights and a Zumba class on Thursday nights, but would that be enough to kick it up? I don’t know.  Of course I’ve got The Shred on DVD, but really I’d like something  a little more fun, not so soul-crushing.  Any suggestions?

Also, I sit on my rear for 8 hours a day at work – I probably should incorporate some exercise into my day. Maybe get up once per hour and do 20 jumping jacks or something like that?  I wonder how effective that would be.  Anyone else a desk jockey?  How do you fit in exercise throughout the day? Have you ever been caught doing something in your office that made others look at you funny?  This is my big fear – I”ll be in full on Downward Dog and someone would walk into my office and see me NOT sitting in my chair. How to explain that? 

Photo by Vlad Sytnik

What I need is for someone to PLAN a workout schedule for me. That’s what I need! Anyone ever had any experience with an online personal trainer?  Or does anyone have a specific plan that you follow?  Actually now that I think about it, I could just do the work out plan on my health insurance’s website again. That’s what I was doing before the Great Finger Smashing of 2009 when I totally lost all my mojo. I think I’ll check that out again, because it had a cardio plan as well as a strength training plan.

Man, am I all over the place today or what?!? 

Okay, I’m off to find a work out plan!  Wish me luck!  🙂

The wonderful things my husband does for me — January 22, 2010

The wonderful things my husband does for me

Since I have been giving my husband so much sh*t here lately, I thought I would list all the great things he does for me, just to balance it all out! So behold, The List:

  • Laundry

The End. 

 Ha! Just kidding – but really that would be enough!

  • He cleaned up the kitchen the other night when I was too tired to do it
  • He spent and hour and a half waiting in the school parking lot to pick up our daughter last weekend
  • He went out and spent $100 on drawer and cabinet pulls because I kept snagging my shirts on the pointy ends of the ones we had.
  • He is going to repaint my kitchen cabinets for me. Goodbye 80’s paneling, Hello pretty white cabinets!
  • He fills my car with gas whenever he drives it
  • He is staying home from work today with our sick daughter so that I don’t have to use my vacation time
  • He cooks dinner a couple of times a week
  • He watched a chick flick with me the other day, even though he really wanted to watch BassMasters instead.
  • He totally tag teams with me when it comes to disciplining the kids. He’s very good about backing me up.
  • He makes me feel very safe. He’s a man’s man – he could kick some serious tail if the need ever arose!
  • He loves me totally and unconditionally, and sometimes I don’t make that an easy thing to do!

Of course there are lots of other things he does, but these have just been some of the more recent examples.  He really is a great guy and I firmly believe that God brought him into my life for a reason,  so it’s easy for me to forgive him when does something as horrible as making tasty confectionary treats! 

He’s my guy and I love him. 

He still makes me swoon!


Okay, I’m finished with my “isn’t my boyfriend ever so dreamy”  post. You may now barf at your leisure.

The Bachelor Post Part II — January 5, 2010

The Bachelor Post Part II

Okay, well if you watched last night, you know that my girl Kimberly got cut. It’s totally okay though – I think the tears she cried at the end were more from embarrassment about being in the first cut, than any feelings she had for Jake. She has a very cute boyfriend back home now and they are very happy, so it’s all good!  She is a very sweet person and I just don’t think she was cut out to be on that show – she’s smart, she has ambition, and she’s very grounded.  And she’s got THE COOLEST aunt in the world, so she’s going to be just fine! 

Here’s some pics just because I want to show her off some more!  And the other beautiful girls are her sisters – these 3 girls have been the loves of my life for a long time. I was 11 when the oldest, Krysten, was born, so they are more like little sisters to me than nieces.

We lurve each other!!

Kimberly is on the far right.

Please enjoy my mother’s extremely low ceiling.

 Now that I think about it, I think my daughter took these pictures, hence the weird angle. 

Okay well that’s all I’ve got for now.  Have a good day!  🙂
J’ai fini. — December 22, 2009

J’ai fini.

I am done.

I woke up this morning refreshed (thank you Nyquil Sinus) and feeling relaxed. I decided that I am finished stressing out about Christmas preparations.  Oh I still have about 3 or 4 last minute things to do, but I am not going to worry about it. It will get done. It always does. So I will use what little time I have left to calmy and serenly finish whatever it is I need to do. I refuse to spend the next 3 days in a tizzy being a stressed-out wench. I am so over myself it’s not even funny. I think I wrote a post like this last year, this all sounds vaguely familiar. (Okay, I looked and I couldn’t find anything, so maybe I’m dreaming?)

Anyway, I am feeling so much better today about things and I will cruise through the next 5 days full of Christmas Spirit and light-heartedness and joy even if it kills me dammit.

funny pictures of dogs with captions

I’m gonna be thankful even if it kills me — November 24, 2009

I’m gonna be thankful even if it kills me

Okay, in lieu of another “I’m panicking and whining about it” post, I thought it might do me some good to post some things that I’m grateful for, ya know, in honor of Thanksgiving blah blah blah,.

I’m thankful/grateful for the following:

Coffee – ‘nuff said

• My 4 year old, whose latest favorite game is “can you guess how much I love you?”

• My mom – she is so unselfish and she’s like a walking cookbook. I can’t count how many times our phone conversations have started with “Mom, how do you make (gravy, chocolate pie, punch, etc)?

People who unknowingly provide me with an answer, an attitude check, or a good belly laugh (bloggers, I’m looking at you).

• My God, who always takes care of me, even when I have trouble remembering to trust Him.

• A really good song – the kind that can make you cry your eyes out or dance like a Solid Gold Dancer.


Things that make my life easier – my new front loading washing machine, my crockpot, staple-pullers, UnderJams, the “backspace” key.

• My husband – for various reasons.

Tim Hawkins – go look him up on YouTube – he’s HIGH-LARIOUS.

Lunch time.


Well that’s just an abbreviated list, but it is indeed lunch time and I’m hungry so I’ll stop there for now.

Have a great Tuesday!!

I got the Honest Crap, I mean Scrap Award! — September 30, 2009

I got the Honest Crap, I mean Scrap Award!

Hey kids! Happy Wednesday to ya!

Um…I’ve got nothing remotely interesting to say. Just thought I’d pop in say hi.




Butterfly Girl bestowed upon me a wonderful award –


Isn’t it purty?

I’m supposed to tell you 10 things about myself, and then pass this award on to other bloggers, but since I’m short on time today, I’m going to give you permission to award yourself this…award (allow myself to introduce…myself – anyone?). So if you want it, it’s yours!

Okay, on to the TEN THINGS YOU MAY NOT KNOW ABOUT ME (and probably won’t care about anyway):

1) I’ve never eaten crab legs or lobster. I’m more of a shrimp and scallop girl – I like my food to not have potentially deadly claws that could snap off a finger.

2) Brad Paisley’s music makes me swoon. He writes the best love songs.

3) When I was in college, my roommate and I used to walk for 45 minutes every day – we were like the USPS, it didn’t matter how hot or cold it was outside, when 5 o’clock came – we were hitting the pavement. We were also tiny and toned!

4) I used to be a punk. In junior high, my bff Kristy and I thought we were Punk. We had spiky hair and wore black a lot. I grew out of that phase before high school, but Kristy wanted to keep “punkin out”. We grew apart after that. Sad.

5) I met my husband because he was holding a dog. If it weren’t for that dog, we might have never met.

6) I have a family member who is going to be on TV next year, but I’m not supposed to talk about it. Dangit!!

7) I have an unnatural fear of crunchy bugs. Spiders and snakes don’t bother me (much), but you put a beetle in front of me and you will see a grown woman throw a hissy fit (it ain’t pretty).

8) One of the best conversations I’ve ever had with my mom was when I spent an entire evening asking her about all the different decades she has lived through. She was a teenager in the 50’s, a new mom in the 60’s, a working mom during the women’s movement of the 70’s, and the mom of a teenager in the 80’s. It was really interesting to talk about.

9) If I won the lottery tomorrow, I would quit my job and become a writer. Or a stand up comedian. Or Oprah.

10) A couple of years ago, I had a friend who confided in me that she and her husband were swingers. My others friends think she was trying to “recruit” my husband and I. I didn’t stick around long enough to find out – I cut off contact with her after that conversation because, um… AWKWARD!

Okay that was a really random list, but it was all I could come up with on the fly. Remember, if you want the award, have it! I’ll share my Honest Scrap with anyone who wants it! 🙂

Sunday ramble — September 27, 2009

Sunday ramble

No, not scramble!  RAMBLE!


Hi!  Surprised to see me on a Sunday? Me too, but I have  a lot of thoughts swirling around and the best way for me to sort them out is by pounding them out on the keyboard. I used to think with a pen and listing things out, but nowadays I find that having your feedback really helps me nail down what I want to do. 


So the cash-only thing is hard!  I do have the check book that I can use,  so really I’m not cash-only, but I’m trying not to use it unless I have to.  I didn’t realize how much I relied on the debit card – I have a feeling I’ll be making a lot of trips to the ATM. My biggest fear is that I’ll be somewhere and I won’t have enough cash to cover my purchases, and then I’ll have to  deal with the awkwardness of apologizing to the cashier and then putting things back – I HATE THAT!!!!  Makes me feel…desperate and…trashy, like “I don’t have enough money for milk and bread because I spent it all on beer and cigarettes” even though I don’t smoke and rarely drink (margaritas are my drink of choice). Does any of this make any sense at all???? I loves me some money anxieties!

Have you all noticed that my blog is becoming less and less about weight loss and more about “what idiotic thing is running through Jill’s brain today”?  Apologies to the weight loss world, but I got a lotta of other stuff besides weight loss on the brain these days – but maybe working through this other stuff will help me sort out some of the weight loss issues too?

Okay speaking of weight loss – I ate a lot of cake yesterday. It was Sarah’s birthday Friday, and yesterday we had a small family party with the most delicious cake. I didn’t make myself sick on it or anything, but I did eat my fair share.  However, I knew that I was going to be eating cake, so I made sure I got my 30 minutes in on the elliptical, plus after the party when everyone had left, Mallory wanted me to come outside and play with her. I swung her on the swings and then we all got on the trampoline. I haven’t been on the trampoline in ages because I always got so tired and winded after just a few jumps, but yesterday I stayed on for a good half hour jumping almost continuously.  We played Cry Baby Cry Baby, Hi Baby Hi Baby, and Mermaid and the Seaweed, which are all suspiciously similar games in which one person has to chase everyone else around the trampoline.  But when you are 4 years old and you are making the rules, that’s how it goes. If you want a good cardio workout, find the nearest 4 year old and do whatever she says. She could have gone on for hours, but mama was parched and tired and her thighs were hurting from all that bouncing, so we came inside and watched Shrek. It was a pretty good day.

Okay, so here’s the thing that I’m trying to reconcile:   I’m trying to balance convenience with frugality and I can’t decide how to do it (what? You were expecting something more serious?).  For example, I’m really horrible about mopping my kitchen floor.  I think that if I had something like one of those Wet Jet thingies (yeah that’s the technical term), it would be easy to just grab it and mop the floor really quick when I have a few minutes, but there’s the expense of the cleaning solution and the pads that go with it.  I hate to keep paying for things like that, but on the other hand, filling the sink with water and doing a full on mop, seems like a HUGE chore and so it doesn’t get done until I just can’t stand it anymore. Oh, and in a fit of rage mild annoyance I threw away my cheap-ass mop a couple of weeks ago, so I’m going to have to buy SOMETHING soon.  Another example: the kids bathroom.  If you have kids, especially boys and/or preschoolers, you know how absolutely disgusting the bathroom can get in a short amount of time.  If I were to buy those disposable cleaning wipes, then the kiddoes could just grab one and wipe down the counters, etc quickly on a daily basis.  But again, there’s the expense of replenishing that supply every few weeks. I don’t want to shell out lots of money for cleaning supplies, but I want my house to be clean and I want it to be convenient enough that it will get done in a timely manner.  Should I just deal with the expense for the time being until we all get into the habit of cleaning regularly or just forget the convenience and do what I can when I can get to it?  Any thoughts/ideas/suggestions?

Well, I guess that’s all I got for today.  I’ve got a lot of clutter and laundry to deal with today so I guess I had better get to it. It’s noon and I’m still in my pjs, however, I have already cut some coupons and made a menu and a shopping list for this week, AND I blogged, so I guess it’s been a fairly productive morning already!  Have a good Sunday!

Who knew? — September 22, 2009

Who knew?

Wow – who knew that ovulation could be as much of a biotch as PMS?  I checked my calendar and added up the days, and sure enough – I do believe I was ovulating.

So sorry to any male readers out there (Jack Sh*t, I think you’re the only one), but maybe you could look at this as a learning experience???

Anyway, so basically what this means is that now I get to be a crazy hag at least twice during the month? Woohoo!!  Won’t that be so much fun for everyone I love!  Really I have been racking my brain trying to figure out what brought all that on, and I really can’t think of anything else, so I’m going with the ovulating thing.  I had a feeling my hormones were out of whack , but didn’t know why. I felt much better yesterday and today I feel pretty much normal (as normal as I can be anyway). I didn’t work out last night because A) we had a big storm yesterday and it knocked the power out for a few hours and B) by the time the power came back on, the season premier of House was coming on and I had to watch it cause I got a thang for Hugh Laurie.  I’m so glad that I had the beans in the crock pot so we could at least eat a hot dinner – once in a while things work out in my favor! 

Tonight we are going bowling for Sarah’s birthday, which isn’t until Friday, but Shawn feels really guilty because he scheduled a trip for this weekend, not realizing her birthday was this weekend.  He planned the pizza/bowling thing, plus he is getting her a cake and is going to send her flowers to school on Friday – I told her to milk it for as long as she could!  😉  It’s been  a long time since I’ve been bowling, so I don’t know how much cardio I’m going to get tonight but I figure all the laughing we’re going to do tonight will make up for it – cause I am not a bowler, y’all.  It’s going to be ugly, but that’s okay, it’ll still be fun. 

Okay, I gotta get some work done this morning. Hope y’all have a lovely day!

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