The Sassy Pear

Finding my way through my forties

Zoom…and it’s gone. — November 26, 2018

Zoom…and it’s gone.

Does anyone else feel like that long weekend zoomed by in a flash? I could really use another day off – I did NOT want to get up and get moving this morning. It’s after noon and I’m still sleepy! 

As quick as it was, it was an enjoyable weekend. I had T’giving dinner with my parents, my sister and her husband, and my little tribe. Friday…what did I do on Friday? I don’t think I did much of anything…Oh, I did run a few errands and then hit a couple of stores in the afternoon for some Black Friday deals – I got a few things but I really wasn’t in a shopping mood.  Then on Saturday, I did shop some more but again, didn’t get a whole lot. I think I’ve gotten spoiled by online shopping because it seems I can get a whole lot done in just a few clicks, all from the comfort of my couch (which I did this morning at 5:30 am. Cyber Monday is the best Monday!). Saturday was a gorgeous, sunny 75 degrees and then yesterday turned cold and windy and gray. I stayed home all day and piddled around and took a nap. I discovered that I need a few hours every Sunday to just be a lazy slob or else I feel like I didn’t have a very fulfilling weekend. I typically spend all day Saturday running errands and catching up on housework, just generally on the move the whole day. I need my Sunday downtime – it recharges my batteries for the upcoming week, and also if I don’t get that, by Wednesday or Thursday I am CRANKY. It’s for everyone’s benefit, really. 

I gotta wrap up this riveting post because I have a boatload of work to do here at my day job. Just wanted to pop in and say I hope you all had a lovely weekend. Also, are you into Black Friday shopping? Or are you more of a Cyber Monday shopper? Do you get rush from fighting the crowds and scoring the best deals early on Friday or does the thought of that make you shiver and duck for cover under your blankets? I don’t mind getting out later in the day on Black Friday, but I can’t handle those crowds. I’ll stick to online shopping thankyouverymuch. 

Oh! PS. I looked at my blog on my phone over the weekend and saw all the ads…Good grief, what a mess! I don’t see those ads when I’m on my desktop computer so I had no idea how distracting and irritating they were on a phone or tablet. I have disabled the ads – I don’t make enough money off of them to subject you guys to it on a daily basis. I might start plopping in a few more Amazon links, but I’ll try not to be obnoxious about it. 🙂

Friday Free Write: Tiny TP Edition — April 6, 2018

Friday Free Write: Tiny TP Edition

You guys…

*shaking my head*

I am in charge of ordering office supplies at work and I noticed that we were running a little low on the TP. We do all of our ordering online, and as I perused the various toilet tissue options available I noticed a 24 pack for a very reasonable price. I clicked on it, ordered it, and thought nothing else about it until it arrived a couple of days later.

You guys…

*still shaking my head in disbelief*

What arrived was indeed a 24 pack of toilet paper but it was the smallest rolls of TP I have ever seen in my entire life:


This package of 4 rolls stands 8 inches tall, 6 inches wide, and 3 inches across the top. The entire diameter of one roll is only 3 INCHES. Okay you probably can’t tell how tiny this is  from the picture so let me try again:


The one on the left is a regular roll – it’s not even a jumbo mega roll (it might be the large roll, but not jumbo), just a regular size roll. The one on the right is the teeny roll that came out of the package JUST LIKE THAT.


IT’S JUST SO ADORABLE! I mean it looks like it should be TP for an American Girl doll honestly. I imagine it’s what you would get if you bought a package of toy groceries:

It’s kinda like those cupcakes that are too cute to eat…I almost feel bad using a roll because it’s just so darn petite.

What I don’t understand is…why? Why would they make it so teensy and why would anyone need teensy rolls like that???? In what possible situation would anyone need rolls that have only 71 sheets?

Look, I have 3 teenagers at home – we go through  A LOT of toilet paper. I buy the 9 pack of mega jumbo rolls once a week and sometimes (Spring break, Christmas break, summer time, ahem) that mega pack doesn’t last all week. So it just boggles the mind that something like this would be available.

I guess if you live in a tiny house or an RV this would be useful, but you’d still have to buy it twice as often. It may not be terribly useful, but it certainly is amusing!

If you want your own tiny baby rolls of TP, you can order them here:

Have you ever bought something online and it wasn’t what you thought it would be? Tell me below your tale of woe!! 🙂


Amazon links are affiliate links which means when you click on a link and buy anything within the next 24 hours, I get a small commission at no additional cost to you. Thanks for clicking! 


Listen Up! — December 5, 2017

Listen Up!

Since I am so avant garde, so cutting edge, so on the brink of the next big thing, I have discovered a new type of media: stories told in an audio format. I believe they are referred to by the millennials as “podcasts”.

Go Google it…I’ll wait…

I like listening to podcasts while I work because it keeps me on task and makes the day a little more enjoyable. And there are as many different kinds of podcasts are there are genres of movies, so I think there really is something for everybody. These are some of my favorites:

When I need my faith in humanity restoredSincerly, Hueman

This is a newish podcast that tells stories about people who are making a difference in the world and having a positive impact. When you feel like the world is a hopeless place, this podcast will give you oodles of renewed optimism.

When I need to laugh: Mortified

Mortified is a series in which adults read from their childhood (mostly middle school/high school) diaries. Beware though, sometimes episodes can get a wee bit raunchy – not all episodes are that way, but a few are…just so ya know.

When I’m feeling sentimental or emotional: Terrible, Thanks for Asking and Strangers

I LOVE TTFA and Strangers mostly because the episodes stay with me  – I find myself thinking about them for hours after listening. These episodes make me feel all my feelings.

When I want that Stranger Things vibe to continue: The Polybius Conspiracy

Bobby claims he was abducted by the makers of a new arcade game back in the 80s. Follow this series when you want a bit of nostalgia for the days when you used to spend your Saturday afternoons (and all your dad’s quarters) at the arcade.

When I just want good storytelling: This American Life

Probably the granddaddy and gold star of podcasting, TAL is so good at what it does. With years and years of archives, there is no shortage of stories that will interest folks of all walks of life. This is what I listen to when I don’t know what I want to listen to.

Other notable audio gems: Serial (this is how I got started listening to podcasts), S Town, Missing Richard Simmons, In the Dark (I just started listening to this one – I’m only on episode 1).

So anyway, that should be enough to keep you busy for awhile. There are so many podcasts now that it’s hard to sort through them all. What are some of your favorites and when do you typically listen to them? Sound off below!


Need some buds to listen to those podcasts?  Click here! 


Amazon links are affiliate links. I get small commish when you click on a link and buy anything on Amazon for the next 24 hours. Thank you! 🙂
Friday ramble — June 17, 2011

Friday ramble

So I got my very first ever mammogram this morning, and it really was no big deal. I’ve heard horror stories and was kind of dreading the whole thing, so when I got there and was out again 15 minutes later, I felt kind of  let down, sort of like the first time I had sex (“um…that’s it? Seriously?”).  It wasn’t horrible, it really wasn’t painful, maybe a bit uncomfortable but that’s all. Seriously the whole thing lasted maybe 20 minutes from the time I walked into the room until I walked back out again. And the best part is, I don’t have to think about it again for a whole ‘nother year! Unless of course they ‘see’ something on my scans…but we’ll cross that bridge if I ever need to cross it. Hopefully quickly and painlessly.

So yeah, if you are 40 or older and you’ve never had a mammogram – GET ONE!  Oh and when you go get one, you can’t wear deodorant, so remember to take some with you so you can put it one after you are finished. Guess who forgot to do that this morning?  Was it me? Yes, yes it was and now I have to go the whole day feeling sticky and hoping I don’t offend anyone. It’s a good thing work in an air conditioned office and sit behind a desk is all I’m saying. For probably the first time ever, I wish I Smelled like Teen Spirit.

So in other news, I’m really gunning for that Mom of the Year award. My daughter had to have a ROOT CANAL. She six years old, people!! What other 6 year old do you know that has to have  a root canal???? I mean, yeah I figured she’d have a couple of cavities (*cough4cough*) but when the dentist went to fill one of them he decided it needed a root canal instead. She’s a trooper though and did fine, but I just can’t get over the fact that my SIX YEAR OLD HAD TO HAVE A ROOT CANAL.  Because I? Am a horrible mother who doesn’t oversee the oral hygiene of her children. They brush their teeth, yes, but I guess Mallory was only brushing the front teeth, even though I told her to make sure she brushed the back teeth too.  So I’m pretty sure that the next time the Tooth Fairy comes to visit, she’s probably going to beat me over the head with her wand and yell at me to GET AN EFFING CLUE!!  Sheesh.

So (yes I’m fully aware  this is the 4th paragraph I’ve started with the word “so”) since I’m already in the boxing ring with myself, can we just talk about how dense I am?  I’m going to say this to myself one more time and so help me, if I don’t listen, I’m going to wring my own neck: SUGAR IS NOT YOUR FRIEND. COPIOUS AMOUNTS OF SUGAR WILL NOT MAKE YOU FEEL GOOD PHYSICALLY OR EMOTIONALLY. KNOCK IT OFF WITH THE SUGAR ALREADY!!!  I mean, really, why do I keep making this one mistake over and over again every. single. day?  It’s stupid, is what it is. Just this morning after my squishage, I stopped to fill my car up with gas and grab a coffee and guess who was staring me in the face as I turned around after getting my coffee? The Damn Donut Case, that’s who.  The “I deserve it” thought went through my head (why I thought I deserved it, I have no idea. Like I said, the mammogram was no big deal), and so I went with it. Now I’m all sugared up and feel like crud. Hate it when I do that. And we aren’t even going to talk about my little ice cream addiction that I’ve been feeding this week. (And why am I not losing weight? It’s a  complete mystery. Is what it is.)

Oh, and I heard from Richard yesterday. Three weeks after the initial call. Yeah, I don’t think he’s going to be very useful to me.  They sent me a Guided Meditation cd that I actually kind of like though. You’re supposed to listen to it every day and I think I’ve remembered to listen to it twice in the last two weeks.  I think it would be helpful if I would listen to it more. Anyone else ever do guided meditation before? It’s almost like being hypnotized I think. Not that I’ve ever been hypnotized (at least I don’t think I have) but it’s what I imagine being hypnotized to be like. I think the second time I listened to it, I feel asleep, but I had a really good nap so it’s all good.  🙂

Did I tell you all that I applied for another job? Don’t get excited – I haven’t heard anything from them yet. Which makes me sad because I thought FOR SURE that the instant they received my resume, they would call me for an interview. That was over a week ago and I have heard nary a peep from them.  Dangit.

Um, okay well I think that’s all I’ve got going on today. So glad it’s Friday, you have no idea. Enjoy your weekend!!  🙂

Stream of consciousness — May 3, 2011

Stream of consciousness


I was really tired last night so I went to bed right at 10:00 and fell asleep about 10 seconds later. I slept hard, but had weird, sad dreams and I had the hardest time getting out of bed this morning. I’m still tired today. Also I feel like I have allergies or a cold or something just starting, maybe that’s why I’m so tired. I have a lot to do at work today but just can’t seem to organize my thoughts well enough to get anything done. Have to leave early to pick up kids from school and zoom them over to the dentist’s office where we will get xrayed and polished, then rush home to cook dinner and get myself to Zumba. The thought of going to Zumba tonight wears me out, but I think I should go. If I don’t go, I have plenty of laundry to keep me busy, so it’s not like I’m going to sit around and do nothing if I don’t go. Well, I’ll decide that later. I wish I had another one of those Sweet & Salty granola bars. Those things are like cake! Very filling, but if I let myself zombie out for awhile I could eat a whole box of them. What I really need is a nap. A nap at home in my cool bed with the curtains drawn and the lights off. Ah, that sounds like a dream. Instead, I’m here at work under these artificial lights while the computers keys click-click-click away, keeping me awake.  Don’t know why I feel the need to write all this down, but getting it out sort of helps me to focus – getting all the random stuff out of my head so I can concentrate on work for the next 2.5 hours, maybe? I don’t know. This post is not for anyone but me, so if it makes no sense at all, that’s okay. It’s a weird day.

I really should post — February 12, 2011

I really should post

but it takes so much energy to sit down at this computer and bang out a well written post.  So in lieu of that, here’s some thoughts in very lazy bullet point form:

  • The snow is finally melting! We are digging out slowly but surely, thank goodness.
  • On Wednesday morning it was -2 degrees. This Thursday it’s supposed to be 70 degrees. Oklahoma weather is NUTS!
  • I worked out 2 days last week. Don’t laugh – that’s pretty good for me.
  • I am at my highest non-pregnancy weight EVER. I am a chunk o’ love right now.
  • I went to lunch with my friend Cindy at a place called Baja Jacks Burrito Shack and it was so so so good.  You can make the burritos as healthy or as unhealthy as you want. I went the healthy route (don’t laugh, I really did) with chicken, black beans, avocado, lettuce, yogurt sauce and some other stuff I can’t remember on a wheat tortilla. I will be going there again.
  • After we had lunch we went shopping and I scored some amazing deals.
  • There is nothing like a dressing room mirror to make you see the cold, hard, cottage-cheesy truth.
  • Dressing rooms are the devil’s lair.
  • I got some really nice bling from my husband for Valentine’s Day. A necklace, matching bracelet and earrings, and a ring. I got him The Best of Foreigner cd. I suck.
  • I have to go pick up Girl Scout cookies tomorrow so the 10 year old can sell them. Please pray for me.

Okay, that’s it. That’s all I can manage right now. Whew! that was a lot of work. I’m going to bed now.




Snow and hairy legs — January 20, 2011

Snow and hairy legs

Hello Campers!

I woke up to 4 inches of snow covering EVERYTHING this morning and while it was beautiful to look at, it wasn’t as lovely to drive in. I got to work okay, but it was slow going. I think if schools are closed, then everyone should get to stay home – that’s just my humble (read: selfish) opinion!

the waterfall and bridge just off my front porch

I made it to Boot Camp last night even though I was 15 minutes late. Being Mother of the Year and all, I forgot to pick up my daughter from Girl Scouts (and the sad part is that it isn’t the first time) so I was really running late. For some reason, I had it in my head that yesterday was Tuesday and did I remember on the drive home from work? No. Did it occur to me pulling into my driveway that it was Wednesday? Nope. It wasn’t until I got home, put my purse and coat away, grabbed a glass of water, hugged my youngest daughter, asked “Where’s Sarah?” to which my youngest replied matter of factly, “oh she’s at Girl Scouts” that I finally remembered that it was, indeed, Wednesday. You have never seen a chubby woman move so fast in your life! Anyway, I did make to Boot Camp and I slogged my way through it and wouldn’t you know it, I pulled my newly healed groin muscle AGAIN. I just don’t think I’m cut out for Boot Camp. Le sigh.

So it’s been a whole 27 hours since the hubs has been gone and already I’m discovering the pros of the situation:

• I don’t have to shave my legs!! At least not as often as I do now – I have a hard time sleeping with little hairs pricking my legs at night, so I’ll shave when it bugs me, but other than that – prolly not.

• Chicken and rice, chicken and couscous, chicken and whatever else I want with it – the hubs is not a big fan of the poultry, so I don’t make it as often I would like. I am excited about trying some new chicken dishes and the kiddos looove chicken. Woohoo!

• It’s a lot easier for me to get up early when he’s not home, so maybe possibly there might be an opportunity to do some early morning yoga or something. Maybe.

• Along those same lines, after the kiddos go to bed, there might be some time for a relaxing before-bed yoga routine as well.

Okay so that’s all I can think of for right now. Have anything to add that I might be missing or not have thought of yet? I might be adding to this list as the days go by – and then just when I’ve gotten to the point where I am blissfully happy with my me-time, he’ll come home and wreck it all!! Oh well, I’ll cross that bridge later.  🙂

Super productive even without the pie — November 30, 2010

Super productive even without the pie

Pumpkin Pie from a *real* pumpkin.
Image via Wikipedia

Hello Gang!

I hope you all had a wonderful Thanksgiving. Mine was okay – I cooked for 8 people and then got up the next morning and did some Black Friday shopping and am now approx. 75% finished with my Christmas shopping.  My goal is to be completely finished by the 15th so that I can enjoy the rest of the month making cookies with my kids and watching Charlie Brown Christmas and Elf and It’s a Wonderful Life instead of stressing about how much I still have to do.  That’s the plan anyway.

Like my post title implies, I have been very productive lately.  The Christmas shopping was just the start. I also dragged out all of the Christmas decorations and got the tree up and decorated as well. I also finished AND mailed my Pay It Forward gifts (finally!) and also mailed the coupons for the PopChips giveaway.  Work has been crazy since we are implementing a new data entry system tomorrow and my location is going to be the first to go live with it, so I’ve been actually working while I’m at work.  All of this is to say that unfortunately when life gets busy, blogging gets forgotten.

My weight…is holding steady at 180 pounds. I didn’t lose or gain over the holiday. One reason is that I had a wicked cold and just didn’t have much of an appetite, plus the dessert-bringer for Thanksgiving only brought desserts that I didn’t particularly care for.  *Holiday rant in 3…2…1…

When you ask me what desserts to bring, and I tell you that I am really looking forward to pumpkin pie, please…for the love of all things good and beautiful, bring me a pumpkin pie! DO NOT bring me some fancy 3 layer pumpkin cream cheese fluffy thing that only YOU like. I’m a texture gal – I love the texture of pumpkin pie, and I feel totally cheated that I did not get any pumpkin pie on the ONE holiday of the year that celebrates said pie. And no, I’m not going to go buy one or make one now because now it’s too late. I don’t want it now. So there.  Rant over.*

You can be for damn sure that next year, there will be pumpkin pie. Oh yes, there will be pie.

In other news…I have no other news. Really there just isn’t a whole lot going on that I feel the need to blog about. About which I feel the need to blog. I know the second sentence is grammatically correct, but it feels foreign to say it that way. Sorry grammar nazies. Is the plural of Nazi, Nazies? Or is it just Nazis? Personally I don’t they deserve any extra letters at all, so I’m sticking with Nazis. Damn Nazis.

Yeah, anyway, I need to get back to work. The boss will be back any minute and my new 22″ monitor that I just got for the new data entry system (I don’t know why they sent me a new monitor, but hey, I’ll take it!)  doesn’t hide things very well at all.  I’m totally going to have to rearrange my desk so that only I can see my monitor. Sneaky sneaky!!  Okay, so anyway this is me getting back to work.

Later taters!



Fear the Blog Reaper — November 9, 2010

Fear the Blog Reaper

Hey all!  Life has been kinda busy lately but I’ve got a few minutes so, here I am!

So the other day I finally broke down and bought a couple pairs of jeans. They were size 16. You know what? I don’t freaking care what size they are, they are comfortable!! There is nothing more irritating than wearing jeans that are too stinking tight. I’m not talking about jeans that are a little snug (Debby and Vickie I’m looking at you), but when a pair of jeans has the power to ruin your whole day because you are so self conscious in your too-tight jeans, well then sisters, it’s time to buy a new pair that FIT. I’ve gotten so many compliments on these jeans in the last week that I keep asking myself why I waited so long.  And did I mention that I bought a couple new tops as well? So I’m sporting the “walk” these days – you know that swagger you get when you are feeling fine? Yeah, that’s me, sashaying all over the place in my threads. All I can say is, thank God for bigger sizes!

I’ve got a couple of product reviews and some giveaways (!) coming up – I just need to find the time to sit down and write out the reviews. I always procrastinate on things like this, but I’m working on NOT procrastinating so much, so I hope to have these banged out by this weekend. So keep checking back for the opportunity to win something (see what I did there? I’m keeping you in suspense so you’ll come back and read my blog! Ooooh, I’m so crafty!!)

These days I’m feeling…neutral, which is a lot better than I’ve been feeling these last 8 months or so. I’m on my way back out of the hole, slowly but surely.  I’m just kind of going with the flow lately – eating what sounds good, and what sounds good is not pizza and candy,amazingly enough, but fresh veggies and nourishing foods. So that’s weird for me, but hey, I’ll take it. Same with exercise – I do it when I can, but I’ve stopped obsessing about how I”m NOT working out like I think I “should”. Going with the flow, folks – I highly recommend it.

I’m working on some things right now with my food etc, but I don’t want to post it here because of the The Blog Curse. After a few days I’ll let you know, but right now I’m keeping mum. I’m also doing this because I want to start writing about what I’ve DONE instead of what I INTEND to do, because I’m not always so good with the following-through-with-my-intentions thing. So I have to save up some stuff so I can say “hey look what I did!”.

I think that I am the Black Plague of Blog Death – just when I find a blog that I really love, that blogger inevitiably says “I think I need to take a blogging break”. This has happened at least 3 times in the last few weeks. One of those bloggers is Mish at Eating Journey (I can so identify with her struggles!) and another one is Confessions of a Compulsive Eater. The third one is The Diet Naked Blog. I’m not kidding, within weeks of finding these blogs, they have all checked out.  So if I read your blog regularly, you might want to be careful. Apparently I am the Grim Reaper of Blogs.  Sorry.

Hello, my name is Jill and I will be taking your blog today.


Okay well, that’s all the rambling I can come up with today. Any one else find and then lose a great blog lately? It sucks, doesn’t it?  😦



Back from the South, y’all. — October 26, 2010

Back from the South, y’all.

I’m back!! Oh it was a wonderful trip – quick, but wonderful!!  The hubs and I drove 18 hours to get to my friend’s wedding (my mom stayed with the kiddos), spent two days in Charleston, then drove 18 hours back.  I so so so wish we had more time to spend in Charleston – what a great city!! Such a lot of history – and the houses are gorgeous.  We drove to Folly Beach and ate at a little pizza place called Woody’s Pizza – oh. my. gosh. I nearly had an orgasm over the breadsticks – they were that good!

Speaking of eating too many bread sticks, I gained 7 pounds while we were gone.  How could that happen, you ask? Well when you eat out 12-14 times in one week, it’s bound to happen!! I’m so SICK of eating restaurant food – don’t get me wrong, I enjoyed every minute of it, but really after a while all the richness gets old. I was so happy to have my boring bland food Saturday night!!

And now for your viewing pleasure, a few photos from my vacation:

Cotton fields in Georgia. I'd never seen cotton growing in a field before.


The pier at Waterfront Park. This was our only sightseeing day.


Come sail away, come sail away, come sail away with me!


My feet on Folly Beach. That white stuff? Millions of tiny shells.



There was a lake in the middle of this neighborhood. Can you see the houses on the other side? Gorgeous, every one of them.

Those are just a few of the things we saw while we were there. I really want to go back some time when we can really explore the area.

Charleston, I miss you already.

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