The Sassy Pear

Finding my way through my forties

It’s not you, it’s me — December 4, 2009

It’s not you, it’s me

Really, honestly my lack of communication this week has nothing to do with you all. I love you all. In fact, I’ve been stalking some of you and you didn’t even know it because I haven’t commented, but really I still puffy heart each and every one of you. It’s me, and work that’s been keeping me away. Work has been crazy-busy but since it’s Friday I figure I’ve earned a little blog time!

So, to recap the last week or so: Thanksgiving was a success! Everything got done with time to spare, the food was great, Shawn and the kids pitched in big time to help get everything ready and it was really just a great weekend all around. Until Sunday when I finally got out and got some Christmas shopping done, which sucked the Christmas joy right out of me. Can I be honest here? Yes I can because it’s my blog, so I’m just gonna lay it out – I hate Christmas shopping. I love giving presents, but I hate the shopping. I hate spending $25 bucks on a cheap plastic toy that will be at the bottom of the toy box next month. I hate it that things are so overpriced and not worth the money you pay for them. I hate it when I don’t know what to get. *sigh* Shawn tells me to not worry about it and just spend the money. I just want to get a good value for my money – is that too much to ask?

I did manage to get all my decorating finished and the tree decorated, so that’s good. I really do love Christmas time and I am really excited that we are going to my sister’s house the day after Christmas to have Christmas with all of my family – that will be a blast! Then the weekend of New Year’s we are going to Memphis to visit some of Shawn’s extended family. We haven’t been back to Memphis for several years, so I think it will be a fun trip for the kiddos. Not sure if we’ll do Graceland again – been there, done that already, so it’s not such a big thrill anymore.

Oh hey guess what?! I get to go to therapy today! FOR MY FINGER, not for my head, thankyouverymuch, although I could probably use some of that as well. It still hurts when I type so maybe they’ll be able to help me with that. I hope so, because it’s hard to type with a finger tip protector on! It should be interesting.

Oh – I got my hair cut and I love it! I went back to my regular girl and told her exactly what I wanted and she cut it exactly the way I wanted it!! I dig my hair now.

Please to enjoy my luscious curls

 Oh remember the girlstache debaucle?  Well I did it again.  This time I thought I would try waxing instead, thinking that lots of people do it, so how bad could it be?  HOLY CRAP ON A CRACKER!! THAT SHIZZ HURTS!!!! And now I’m left with a bunch of lovely bumps all over my upper lip and chin. I’m irresistable ya’ll.  Smo-kin. Anyone ever tried those Smooth Away thingies? That’s probably next on my list.

Before I go I want to wish one of my best blogging buddies a very happy birthday!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEBBY!!!  I hope you have a wonderful day!!


Later taters – me and my hot hair and bumpy chin have some work to do, so you all have a good weekend!!

Being a responsible employee is taking away my blog time — November 18, 2009

Being a responsible employee is taking away my blog time

Hello! Remember me?  I’m the one who use to live for blogging and reading blogs, but since I’ve decided to devote my working hours to actually working, I don’t have 8 hours a day to read blogs anymore. I’d like to say it sucks, but really I’m so caught up at work it isn’t even funny. And the self-satisfaction of doing a job well is very, um…satisfying, so I think I’ll continue doing the job they actually pay me to do instead of using this time for my own personal endeavors (except for right now, because I am waiting on the next batch of papers to arrive, so I have a few minutes to spare – yay!). 


ANYWAY, the other night I had a really bizarre but completely fun dream:  Debby came to visit me and she brought along Annie, and we all went to Sam’s to do some bulk shopping (because apparently we needed 20 rolls of paper towels or something) and while we were there, we ran into June, who was having an argument with a teenage stock boy who wouldn’t help her in the fashion to which she is accustomed (I don’t know if June’s really like that, but that’s what was going on in the dream).  There was also something about Halloween costumes and big dinosaurs, and mattresses in the back yard, but that part’s a little fuzzy, so I can’t really explain all that. Now let me just tell y’all that Debby is one of my best blogging buddies and we have conversed many times, so the Debby part makes sense. However, even though I read Annie’s and June’s blogs every day, I’ve only commented once on both of their blogs and neither one of them would know me from Adam (Eve?) if they saw me on the street, so I can’t tell you why they were in my dream, except that maybe I instinctively know that we would all be great friends if we were to actually, ya know, go to Sam’s and hang out. I’m just saying.


Let’s see, what other weirdness is going on in my life? Oh, I finally jumped into 2007 and let my kids get a Nitnendo Wii. Yeah, we are way current with whole video gaming thing. Anyway they have been saving up for 10 months to get a Wii and we found a good deal on Craigslist (I loves me some Craigslist) so we got the Wii and have been playing it and Oh My Gosh I Am So Sore!!! I can barely lift my arms and my back feels like I gave an elephant a piggy back ride. I’m thinking of going professional in bowling cause I am crazy good.  Who knew?!


Oh! I think my original point of this post is to set a goal weight-wise for the holiday season. Do you all have a goal? If you don’t you probably should think about getting one – they’re all the rage these days. My goal is to get back to 155 (which I did as of this morning can I get a WootWoot!) and stay there until January. If I can just stay at or slightly below 155 for the next 8 weeks, I’ll be happy.  I think it’s good to have a goal, otherwise I’ll just dive head first into the first tray of Christmas cookies I see and not come up for air until Springtime. That’s kind of what has happened the last…well, let’s be honest, that’s what always happens. We’ll see how it goes this year since I have my Super Awesome Winter Holiday Goal or SAWHG for short. What’s your SAWHG?


Oh you may be asking why I needed to “get back” to 155? Well I gained about 4 pounds in the last month – not a huge gain, but again, I blame the finger incident. That really jacked up my mojo and even though I’m still not working out like I’d like, my eating has gotten better and I’m just a lot more active these last couple of weeks, which helps.  I’ve discovered that my whole house is one big gym. Saturday I reached the point of I JUST CANNOT TAKE IT ANYMORE and I cleaned my house within an inch of its 1700 square foot life. I spent the whole day cleaning but when I finished it was a thing of beauty! I burned major calories that day, and since I didn’t want it all to get messy again within 24 hours, I have been vigilant about keeping it picked up. That burns a lot of calories too, just picking up after myself and everyone else, and even though it is a lot of work, the satisfaction of having a clean and tidy house is worth it. I just hope I can keep up with it.


Since it’s been a while since we’ve talked about my hair, let’s talk about it again, shall we? It’s driving me crazy again. I know I am in need of a trim, but here’s the deal: my stylist T who I have been going to for 5 years now always gives me the same cut and style no matter how I tell her I want it. Don’t get me wrong, she’s great, but she is a big fan of the flat iron, so that seems to be her default – trim it and then flat iron it. I have been wearing my hair curly for some time now and frankly, I don’t have the time or energy to flat-iron it every day, so I really need a flattering curly-haircut, and I don’t know if  T can handle that.  So I ask you – do you have any good styles for me?  I’ll post a pic of the hair as it is now and you all can email me pics or suggestions or just post them here on the blog – whatever, just give me some ideas please!!  I’m growing desperate, and there has been talk of a family portrait in the near future, so I need ideas soon! Okay I just tried 47 times to upload a pic of my hair and it’s just not working for me, so go visit my pics page and you’ll get an idea of what my hair sort of looks like.


Okay, well that’s about all I can think of to blather about for right now, so I guess I’ll end it here.


Or not, cause I just thought of something else: I like shopping at thrift stores and I’m not ashamed to say it! There, I said it. I admit, I like getting clothes for dirt cheap and the last time I went I bought a ton of stuff for myself and my kids for $23! Yes $23!! Super cute jeans for Sarah, 4 super cute tops for me, some dressy churchy clothes for Matthew and a few other things made for a very happy me! Oh I got the CUTEST jacket for those nights out on the town – it made me feel so trendy! And did I mention it was DIRT CHEAP???? I loves me some Goodwill.


Okay, that is really all for today. I’m sure I’ll have more to ramble about later, so don’t forget to come visit me again, k?!  Have a great day!

I’d like to take a moment of silence — October 21, 2009

I’d like to take a moment of silence

to mark the passing of my youth. 


RIP Full and Luscious Hair. I found my first gray hair last night. And then I found another one. I noticed that my hair was dryer than normal and my scalp has been a little bit itchy lately, but I never expected to see gray! Okay, so should I shell out the bucks and have Tanya (my hair stylist) color it, or should I just rely on Miss Clairol? Hear me now and believe me later, but I’ve never colored my hair, so these hair-coloring waters are new territory for me (can water be considered territory?).

And speaking of my dying youth, I have officially become an old curmudgeon (I love that word) because I refuse to wear uncomfortable shoes. Back in the day, I didn’t care if the shoes were lined with barbed wire, if they were cute, I would wear them. Now however, comfort comes first. I went shopping the other day and I tried on many, many pairs of shoes, but they were all so uncomfortable that I had to turn them down. These were not heels, people! No, these were cute little flats, and cute little sporty tennis shoes, and cute little boots that just didn’t cut it for me! I finally settled on a pair of Dr. Scholl’s black wedge loafer-type shoes – very cute AND very comfortable. But I never thought I’d live to see the day when comfort wins out over cuteness. *sigh*

Oh! And another sign of my decaying youth: I cannot eat McDonald’s anymore. I had to take the kiddos to the orthodontist yesterday (here’s a bit of great news: I’m going to have two kids in braces at the same time! Life just keeps getting better every dang day!), and by the time we got out of there, we were all starving and had a few more errands to run, so I caved and went through the drive-thru. I had two cheeseburgers and a few fries (have they always been so salty and greasy???) and half of a coke. By the time we finished our errands and got home I was so tired that all I could do was lay down on the couch and do nothing (okay, well I painted my nails, but that was about it). I couldn’t figure out why I was so tired, but then it occurred to me: all that grease and fat and just plain nastiness that is McD’s must not be jiving too well with my system. So, no more Mickey D’s for me. Fare thee well, youth, fare thee well.

Okay, I’m gonna go grab my walker and head over to the bingo hall now. Maybe I’ll win the door prize of the lifetime supply of Polident and Depends (which seriously, might be in my future as well – don’t even get me started on the betrayal of my bladder).  Have a great day, Youngin’s!!

The adventures of Girlstache — October 5, 2009

The adventures of Girlstache

She is OWNING that girlstache!
She is OWNING that girlstache!


So I’ve been reading Bye Bye Pie lately (thanks Juice) and she cracks me up. When I grow up, I want to be as funny as she is. She had a hilarious post a couple of weeks ago about getting her lip waxed – the oriental lip waxer-woman told her she needed it because she is “dark like man”. For the last few months, I have been staring at my upper lip in the mirror wondering if the shadow I saw was indeed, a girlstache. Then when I read June’s post I started wondering if I was dark like man too. After much obsessing, I finally decided to do something about it – I would just get rid of the stache and all would be well with the world again.

I went to the Walmarts and found the Nair for Dark Like Man Upper Lip Cream with Rebalancing Moisturizer. Rebalancing moisturizer? Would this cream make me out of balance (insert mental health joke of your choosing here)? So I brought the cream home and late Saturday night after everyone went to bed – because really, I don’t need the hubs or the kids making comments about the thick white cream on my face – I washed my face and applied the cream of death to my stache area.


Had I known beforehand that I was applying nuclear sludge to my face, I might not have it applied it so thickly, but the directions said to apply a THICK line of cream, so I did. Did I wipe the sludge from my lip when the burning started? Hell no. I wanted the hair gone and if burning it away is what it took, then so be it. I left the cream on for 6 minutes, then I wiped it away with a damp cloth. The directions also said do not rub, but honestly how do you wipe it away without rubbing? I still haven’t figured that one out yet.

The Nair cream did indeed take away the fine hair from my upper lip as well as six layers of skin and some nerve endings. For the next twenty four hours, I no longer looked like Father Guido Sarducci, instead I looked like The Joker. Great. In addition to the glow of the nuclear fallout, I got one tiny blister that has crusted over just slightly. Nice. I’m all kinds of sexy right now.

I called my best-friend-forever-because-she-knows-too-much-about-me Dinah and she immediately chastised me for not letting a professional handle this. She prefers waxing, but one time in college we tried waxing our legs and let me tell you, it will be a cold day in hell before I let that happen again. That stuff hurts! I may just have to suck it up though and let Tanya, my hair stylist, take over all-things-beauty because I just can’t go through this torture again. I mean really, why does it have to hurt so bad to be a teensy bit beautiful?

So I am done with Nair. Next time I go get my hair cut, I will shyly and quietly ask Tonya to please also wax my upper lip. I just hope my screaming doesn’t alarm the other patrons. And I hope the people in hell have jackets.

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