To the Frustrated and Resentful: I see you.

To the woman who swears that this week she will stay out of the break room at work (and all of the snacks it beholds)…I see you.

To the woman who spent the weekend on the couch, avoiding all the things she “should have been doing” and now she feels like a big unproductive failure…I see you.

To the woman who pushed herself all weekend long to play catch up at home, even though she was exhausted, because her week was so busy and she couldn’t get all the chores done…

To the woman who puts in an extra half hour on the treadmill because she had wine and pasta at her anniversary dinner Saturday night and she just really can’t afford those calories…

To the woman who refuses help because she “should be able” to do it herself…

To the woman who feels like there will never be enough (time, money, etc)…

To the woman who feels frustrated and overwhelmed and resentful at what her life has become…

I see you. I know how you feel because I used to be you: resentful, overwhelmed, frustrated, insecure, scared.

I get it, I really do. It feels like if you could just try a little harder, you might be able to accomplish all those things that you think you should be doing. So you vow to do better – you will be stricter with food, you will work out every day – no exceptions, you will make a chore chart, a menu, and a budget plan and you will stick to it no matter what! You just need to fight harder and things will work out…

…until something unexpected comes up and your grand plan falls completely apart.

I did this over and over for years. I ended up 75 pounds overweight, cranky, and just generally unhappy and wondering why me? Why and how did I let myself get this way?

Here’s what I eventually learned: the harder you fight, the more you dig in your heels and rage against the machine, the deeper your rut gets. And because I had been on this same path over and over again it was well worn, I thought that I could bully myself into submission and that if I talked terrible enough to myself, I’d eventually get it right and magically become someone I wasn’t meant to be.

Living that way is exhausting. In fact, it’s not really even living, it’s just existing, at least it was for me.

So…how do you start living again? Grace, forgiveness, kindness. 

Give yourself some of that. Give yourself a whole lot of that. Stop believing what society says you “should” be and start believing in who you ARE. You are strong, you are capable, and you are VALID just as you are today, right now. Take back your energy, your boldness, your belief in yourself. Forgive yourself for not measuring up to society’s standards and set your own standards. Set the bar where ever you want – because guess what? There actually is no bar!! Put your effort and your energy into adding more fun, more comfort, more relaxation in your days. And if that sounds like too much, then just start with telling yourself “I forgive myself for everything. I’m going to get curious. I’m going to experiement with what feels good in my life and what needs to go.” Just start there.

And then say it to yourself everyday from now on. 

The rest will come. It will.

11 thoughts on “To the Frustrated and Resentful: I see you.

  1. Thank you for posting this! After three hours of sleep last night with an anxiety brain worrying about all the stuff I need to get done this month, it’s a timely reminder that I need to stop bullying myself. Nobody is even 1/1,000th as hard on me as I am on myself!

  2. I hope writing that was as inspirational and joyful as it was to read it!! Tis’ the season for this beautiful reminder! Thank you, Jill 🙂

  3. Thanks Ladies!! I’ve seen a few posts lately that prompted me to write this – I hope it can help someone to realize that change does not come about by being your own enemy.

  4. I am the woman who feels frustrated and overwhelmed and resentful at what her life has become. I am really trying to forgive myself for not measuring up to society’s standards but it is not easy. But I want to. I just need to start adding more fun, more comfort, more relaxation in your days. Thanks for the post. I needed to read this.

    1. I know it’s not easy Paula (trust me, I know) but it’s so, so worth the effort. Just start small and if I can help you, email me. I can give you some resources to get you started. (((Hugs)))

      1. I am just going to take baby steps. One other blog I follow reminded me that I cannot move forward with one foot in the past. It is helpful to know I am not the only one who has felt this way.

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