Debby, you’re going to love this post, because I’m letting loose Cranky Jill. (Debby loves Cranky Jill and I’m not sure what that says about Debby, but consider this my cranky gift to all of you.)
Let’s just go ahead and get our crankiness out of the way early in the season, whaddya say? Let’s talk about CHRISTMAS MUSIC!!
More specifically, what is your least favorite Christmas song? This is the time to rail against those songs that come out only at Christmastime to annoy and bug us for 25+ days straight! Because I’m a giver, I am providing a safe place for you to get it out of your system – tell me which songs make you absolutely insane when you hear them.
I’ll start. And no, I’m not even going to link to these songs…that’s how much I dislike them. If you want to hear them, I’m sure Youtube would be happy to oblige.
Ready? Let the snark begin!
#1) The Christmas Shoes
Oh. This song. You know, hate is such a strong word and I try to not hate anyone or anything, but this song…this song brings up feelings in me that I’d rather not face. What really pisses me off about this song is that it was written SOLELY to elicit tears from the listener. I don’t like being manipulated to cry…I can do that easily enough on my own, thankyouverymuch, so when I hear songs like this that are exceptionally sappy…I just get angry instead. This song just WANTS me to have an ugly cry and I just won’t have it. I’M NOT HAVING IT, CHRISTMAS SHOES, OKAY?!?!
#2) Santa Baby – Madonna
Now, I have a caveat with this song. I LOVE the Eartha Kitt version of this song. I love how sultry she sounds and I can just picture her Sugar Santa giving her everything on her list. However, the baby-voiced Madonna version just sounds bratty and spoiled and it makes me feel murdery and just generally annoyed. GO AWAY MADONNA with your stupid baby voice. It bugs.
#3) Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer
Oh jeez. I just can’t with this song. I’ve never ever thought this song was funny – I mean who jokes about their grandma dying by sleigh accident??? It’s cruel and stupid and I DON’T LIKE IT.
#4) Anything by Mariah Carey
Ugh. Please stop, Mariah. You’re ruining Christmas for me.
#5) Wonderful Christmastime
Really, Paul McCartney? This is the best you could do? You have one of the most successful musical careers in history and this shite is the best you could come up with? I mean, it’s like you didn’t even try, Paul! I’m so disappointed in you. Now go sit in the corner and think on your sins and never EVER let me hear this song again.
#6) Happy Christmas (War is Over)
I mean it’s like John (like his bandmate Paul) just gave up. I’ll admit I kinda like the beginning of this song, but when Yoko starts singing…that just kills it for me. Sorry Yoko, but I DO NOT LIKE YOU. And then at the end where all you hear is that screechy “Waaaar iiiis oooooverrrrr”…that’s when I go looking for the ice pick to shove in my ear (that’s graphic, I know. Sorry.)
Ugh, okay that’s all I can do for today. I can feel my blood pressure rising just thinking about all these abominations to my ears.
Now it’s your turn. Tell me in the comments which Christmas songs you dislike hearing the most. It’s actually been a little cathartic to get this off my chest – hopefully, you’ll feel the same.