Let’s get cranky, shall we?

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Debby, you’re going to love this post, because I’m letting loose Cranky Jill. (Debby loves Cranky Jill and I’m not sure what that says about Debby, but consider this my cranky gift to all of you.)

Let’s just go ahead and get our crankiness out of the way early in the season, whaddya say? Let’s talk about CHRISTMAS MUSIC!!

More specifically, what is your least favorite Christmas song? This is the time to rail against those songs that come out only at Christmastime to annoy and bug us for 25+ days straight! Because I’m a giver, I am providing a safe place for you to get it out of your system – tell me which songs make you absolutely insane when you hear them.

I’ll start. And no, I’m not even going to link to these songs…that’s how much I dislike them. If you want to hear them, I’m sure Youtube would be happy to oblige.

Ready? Let the snark begin!

#1) The Christmas Shoes

Oh. This song. You know, hate is such a strong word and I try to not hate anyone or anything, but this song…this song brings up feelings in me that I’d rather not face. What really pisses me off about this song is that it was written SOLELY to elicit tears from the listener. I don’t like being manipulated to cry…I can do that easily enough on my own, thankyouverymuch, so when I hear songs like this that are exceptionally sappy…I just get angry instead. This song just WANTS me to have an ugly cry and I just won’t have it. I’M NOT HAVING IT, CHRISTMAS SHOES, OKAY?!?!

#2) Santa Baby – Madonna

Now, I have a caveat with this song. I LOVE the Eartha Kitt version of this song. I love how sultry she sounds and I can just picture her Sugar Santa giving her everything on her list. However, the baby-voiced Madonna version just sounds bratty and spoiled and it makes me feel murdery and just generally annoyed. GO AWAY MADONNA with your stupid baby voice. It bugs.

#3) Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer

Oh jeez. I just can’t with this song. I’ve never ever thought this song was funny – I mean who jokes about their grandma dying by sleigh accident??? It’s cruel and stupid and I DON’T LIKE IT.

#4) Anything by Mariah Carey

Ugh. Please stop, Mariah. You’re ruining Christmas for me.

#5) Wonderful Christmastime

Really, Paul McCartney? This is the best you could do? You have one of the most successful musical careers in history and this shite is the best you could come up with? I mean, it’s like you didn’t even try, Paul! I’m so disappointed in you. Now go sit in the corner and think on your sins and never EVER let me hear this song again.

#6) Happy Christmas (War is Over)

I mean it’s like John (like his bandmate Paul) just gave up. I’ll admit I kinda like the beginning of this song, but when Yoko starts singing…that just kills it for me. Sorry Yoko, but I DO NOT LIKE YOU. And then at the end where all you hear is that screechy “Waaaar iiiis oooooverrrrr”…that’s when I go looking for the ice pick to shove in my ear (that’s graphic, I know. Sorry.)

 

Ugh, okay that’s all I can do for today. I can feel my blood pressure rising just thinking about all these abominations to my ears.

Now it’s your turn. Tell me in the comments which Christmas songs you dislike hearing the most. It’s actually been a little cathartic to get this off my chest – hopefully, you’ll feel the same.

Aaaaand go!!

 

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10 thoughts on “Let’s get cranky, shall we?

  1. debby

    I think you did give me my favorite Christmas present this year :))

    So…I can’t think of one song I really really hate, but what I don’t like is when at our church Christmas banquet we sing SECULAR Christmas songs. I don’t like it I don’t like it. Good grief, these are the same people who are rebelling against Starbuck’s Christmas cup. And griping about people saying Happy Holidays. And we only get maybe 4 days to sing Christmas worship songs together–get it together people.

    You cracked me up with your first choice. That song was sung by one of my favorite groups–New Song. But I skip right over the shoes when it comes on. And let’s not even discuss that they made this song into a sickeningly sweet Christmas movie….

    Thank you Miss Jill. Feel free to crank your way through the 12 or 25 days of Christmas :))

  2. I cannot stand ‘Baby It’s Cold Outside’. Am I the only one who thinks this song sounds a teensy bit rapey? “What’s in this drink?” “Oh, ya know, just roofies.”

  3. Anya

    My 14-year-old daughter could listen to the Pandora Christmas channel 12 months of the year, so here goes:
    –“Santa Buddy” by Michael Buble. Seriously? Stick with Santa Baby.
    –That “I want a hippopotamus for Christmas” song. Just annoying.
    –That “It’s the Holiday Season” song by Andy Williams. I just don’t get the appeal, and there’s a lot of nonsense to make it rhyme.
    –That 80s song about the singer’s repeated holiday attempts all year to hook up with some guy she keeps bumping into and doesn’t actually know. And now she’s going to hook up with him on Christmas. Um, OK.
    –Any time the Rat Pack members take a classic old Christmas song and try to make it groovy.
    –I’m with you about “Wonderful Christmastime.” I actually like the John Lennon song until Yoko starts caterwauling. 🙂
    –As the parent of a kid in choir, I think we need someone to write a better Christmas duet than the rapey “Baby It’s Cold Outside.” That said, two juniors in my son’s high-school choir last year did a really funny version of it with the girl pursuing the guy.

    Now for the positive side of things– I love anything by Nat King Cole or Burl Ives. 🙂 And Elvis– my daughter knew nothing about him except that he sang some of her favorite Christmas songs, and I’ll never forget her 12-year-old self going, “MOM!!! Did you know that Elvis Presley was HOT??!!!” Thousands of screaming fans from the 1950s would agree. 🙂 And as someone who was a teenager in the 80s, I have a soft spot for George Michael’s “Last Christmas” and of course, “Do They Know It’s Christmas?” Lastly, Adam Sandler’s Hanukkah song is brilliant and makes this Catholic wish she was Jewish. 🙂

  4. Kyra

    I tried posting a comment and it got lost (I think?) but I agree with all yours, and add that I HATE Feliz Navidad and Mele Kalikimaka. To be honest, I’m not a big fan of Christmas music anyway, although I can put on the Charlie Brown soundtrack and be happy!

  5. Hate the shoes song too.

    And I wish they had a radio rule in general where they do not do repeats. In other words, play all the songs once before they start to repeat. I realize they can’t play all the songs ever written before they repeat. But if they had a playlist of 200-500 I would be a fan.

  6. Karlita

    There really aren’t Christmas songs I hate, but I’m really not a fan of Christmas shoes. Makes me want to cry everytime I hear it. Isn’t Christmas supposed to be a happy time? Getting teary eyed just thinking about that song.

    I agree about Santa Baby. Nobody can beat Eartha Kit’s version.

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