Salty and Evil

Can we just talk about sparkling water for a moment?

I mean…it’s just…

WHY????

It’s like Lucifer decided to have a board meeting with his evil minions and it went something like this:

Lucifer: So, hey thanks for coming (as if you had a choice), I have a great idea…let’s take some water…some nice, cool, refreshing water…

Minions: yeah…

L: And let’s add some natural fruit flavors…

M: yeah…

L: like cherries and limes and oranges and pineapple…

M: yeah…

L: AND THEN LET’S OVERCARBONATE THE CRAP OUT OF IT AND MAKE IT TASTE LIKE FRUITY SALTWATER!!!!!!

M: *applause and cheers* YEAH!!!!!

L: MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA *wrings hands maniacally* I’M SO EVIL I CAN’T EVEN STAND MYSELF!!!!ย 

I mean, really!! I know there’s no sodium in sparking water, so why does it taste like I swallowed the ocean?

And I know there are people out there who are absolutely nutters over sparkling water, but Iย just don’t understand those people. I’ve tried to like it, really I have, but it just tastes like disappointment to me. Fruity, salty, disappointment.

I don’t like it. And that’s okay. If you like it, that’s okay too, just don’t try to convince me that I should like it. Because I won’t.

I’ll stick to plain ol’ uncarbonated water thankyouverymuch. Because I like my water like I like my men: smooth and cool and un-carbonated.

๐Ÿ™‚

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11 thoughts on “Salty and Evil

  1. After I read this, I took a swallow of my LaCroix Cerise Limon sparkling water that was sitting here beside me and I really tried to see if it was salty. For me, it just doesn’t taste salty. I agree that if it did, I probably wouldn’t like it either! I think this may be a difference in how different people perceive it.

    I do like it, but I also like plain uncarbonated water as well. I don’t think everyone has to like what I like though.

    • Kitty that’s exactly the kind of sparkling water I have! I don’t know why it tastes salty to me but it really does! And not just a little bit salty, but VERY SALTY. Maybe that’s just the way my brain tries to make sense of it?? Who knows. I really want to like it but I just can’t. ๐Ÿ˜ฆ

  2. You made me look. It doesn’t look like there’s any sodium in it, but I wonder if the potassium ___ that they use for preservative tastes salty to some people?

  3. So, I was reading something about different foods and their taste. Seems like there’s a genetic component to this, in which some foods are absolutely repellant to some people. Seems to me like seltzer water may be one of those for you. I prefer regular water, but I’ll do seltzer occasionally. I’m not a super fan of it, but it doesn’t bother me. This time of year, give me herbal tea…one cup, two coup, three cup, four.

  4. I’m the only person I know who not only doesn’t like coffee, but hates the very smell of it. I have to block my nose when I walk past a coffee shop. Euw. And roast pumpkin, which many people seem to enjoy, just doesn’t seem like a valid food to me at all. Yucky.

    I remember doing a test back in high school where you taste a chemical soaked into a bit of paper. To some people it is revolting, others taste nothing at all. We used it to trace genes, getting our parents and siblings to try it. So that is a genetic difference.

    On the other hand, if you have a zinc deficiency it tastes really strong to you. If you aren’t, you can hardly taste zinc supplements. You know you’re not deficient any more when you can’t taste it! So that one isn’t genetic. Maybe you’re mineral water deficient! Actually, that isn’t such a crazy idea. I wonder if it has zinc in it?

    • I had my daughters taste the same sparkling water and they both hated it. So maybe it is a genetic thing. And that’s really interesting about the zinc – had no idea! This is turning into a fascinating topic. ๐Ÿ™‚

  5. You are not the only one. I Google-searched “why does sparkling water taste salty,” and it looks like a common question. Some even added, “…when there is no salt added.” I couldn’t find a clear-cut answer (doing this at 2:30 in the morning may have something to do with my comprehension skills, LOL), but I read that carbonation does make the water more acidic and that some people do have certain receptors something something.

    I’m a basic water person, too. And I like your description! LOL

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