I’m in Therapy!

Hello Friend!

When my son was little, he used to watch a cartoon called Little Bill and it was the cutest. Little Bill always started off the show by saying “Hello Friend” and I always loved that. And I just remembered that Little Bill was a Bill Cosby project and now I feel a little weird using that phrase. :/

Cartoons and rapists….not a good way to start a post! Ugh, moving on…

So, if you saw my sneak peak post, you might have noticed that was me saying “That was awesome!” in that clip. Yes, I am going to be on an episode of Dr. Oz this season. No, I don’t know the air date yet, but rest assured that you and everyone else I have ever known in my entire life will know as soon as I do. The producers are going to email me when the air date gets close, but I have no earthly idea when that will be. Could be next week, could be next Spring – have no idea at this point.

I’m dying to tell you all about it, but the producers don’t want me to give away too much. I will say that this experience has been AMAZING and I’m learning so much about myself. I’m working with a therapist (the FABULOUS Emily Roberts, MA) and wow…it has been eye opening. Emily typically works with teen girls, which honestly at first I was a little hesitant that she would be able to help a middle aged mama like myself, but let me tell you – for me as the mother of a 14 year old girl, Emily’s insight has been invaluable. She is so smart and each week she hits the nail on the head every time we talk. She has me working on some skills and is really helping me shift my mindset. She has helped me to see that just because I’ve done or thought something for my whole adult life, doesn’t mean I have to keep doing/thinking that way. I’m really so appreciative of her help.

For 18 years now, I thought that all I needed was the right diet and/or exercise plan, but it turns out what I really needed was therapy. A 1200 calorie diet isn’t going to address the issue of why I turn to food to fill the void. A gym membership isn’t going to tell me why I can’t express myself clearly to those closest to me. I have to sort out what’s going on in my head before I can sort out the extra weight on my body (I have a sneaking suspicion that taking care of the first one will positively impact the second one – I’ll let you know if I’m right). Doing the work on myself that I’m doing now is exponentially more satisfying than any food or exercise plan that I’ve ever tried. This feels right. My gut instinct is that THIS – working with Emily, working on my inside self – is the right path and that now is not necessarily the time to be focusing on what I’m eating. And ironically, since I’m not focusing all my attention on food, I’ve been eating less overall. And although I’m not exercising for weight loss anymore, I am getting up and walking for 30 minutes in the mornings because it helps keep my stress level down and makes me feel like I’ve accomplished something worthwhile before 6 a.m. Crazy, right?!?

So yeah…I’m seeing a therapist and I love it. I saw a therapist a few years ago for a short time because I was just having a really hard time dealing with everyday things but she and I just didn’t gel very well. Each time I saw her, she would spend the first ten minutes of our session telling me about her ex husband and her son and the problems they were all having. It was awkward and I just didn’t feel like she understood what I really needed, so I stopped going after 4 sessions. I probably should have sought out another therapist, but for whatever reason, I didn’t. But it’s all good now. At least, it’s getting better anyway. 🙂

10 thoughts on “I’m in Therapy!

  1. She may have been trying to make you feel she empathized, but you are right, it was inappropriate. And therapists all have (should have) their own therapists for this reason. So they have someone to talk to about their own issues.

    If someone has a therapist that they think is great, but they share about their own life, an easy solution is to walk in the door with a list, every time, and say I have so much to talk about, I made a list so we can get started very quickly. Variations of that technique put the focus on the patient and initiate immediate action.

    The food and the weight are just the parts we can see. There is a whole lot behind it, for all of us. It is my personal opinion if someone has a lot of weight, and can’t easily/quickly get rid of it, or regain, they need a therapist. So yes, every weightloss person in blogland needs a therapist.

    Very glad you found someone to work with and it is working. Don’t stop. Keep working with her. Most of my deepest work came after my weightloss. I am still with my therapist years later.

    If we are going to be a line in the sand for our kids, stop family patterns, then we have to CHANGE a lot of things. Maybe everything.

    1. With therapist #1, I made the mistake of asking “how are you” whenever I walked in, and she would actually tell me. I don’t really feel that she was empathizing with me, I think she just was unloading what was on her mind. It was very odd.

  2. “I probably should have sought out another therapist, but for whatever reason, I didn’t.” — One reason for me is because it’s beaucoup crazy money and time–both worth it for the RIGHT therapist, but an expensive hit-and-miss endeavor. It’s like finding the right color of lipstick. You don’t know if it’s a complimentary shade until you plunk down the cash first. If it’s right, then it’s money well spent. If not, then you become painfully aware of the amount of money spent on a gooey crayon.

    Last year, after a few sessions with my therapist, she suggested a phone session for my convenience so I wouldn’t have to make the 30 min drive to her office. It turned out she didn’t go to her office either but was still getting ready for the day: bathing and drying her toddler, looking for her books, putting make-up on. And she didn’t follow through with sending me information she said she had for me. Yes, she billed me. Yes, I paid but told her I wasn’t going to see her anymore.

    1. But I wanted to add that I’m happy for you and your “right shade of color.” That’s awesome!

      …oh, and we used to watch Little Bill, too, and have his book about Dr. MLK, Jr. — Loved him.

    2. I remember you telling me about her – she was VERY unprofessional. And I agree – that’s an expensive hit-or-miss, but maybe if/when you decide to seek out therapy again, ask if they offer a free consultation or a complimentary session so you could at least check them out before you write the check. 🙂

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