Wow! I had no idea my “note to self” would resonate so much with you guys!

I’ve been doing a lot of questioning lately. Questioning the things I do daily and why I do them and rethinking some old thought processes…I’m really just trying to see things in a new light. One of the things I’m turning upside down in my own brain is this: What if working out and eating to my body’s needs really isn’t hard? What if the diet industry just wants me to think it’s hard? What if I finally decide to say “I’ve got this goal I want to achieve, and I’m going to believe that it’s going to be a fun process to reach that goal?” What if I just change how I think about this process instead of dreading every step of it?

Not too long ago, my 14 year old had an assignment in chemistry where she had to balance several chemical equations. Now, it’s been over 25 years since I last had to balance a chemical equation so I had no idea how to do it and I wasn’t about to sit down and try to figure it out because CHEMISTRY IS HARD (sound familiar?). Unfortunately, my daughter had no idea how to do it either and as I could see her frustration growing, I decided I needed to help her get through this. So I looked on Youtube for a tutorial on balancing chemical equations and slowly I figured it out. Once I got the hang of it, it actually become sort of…dare I say it?…fun. It was fun figuring out the problem and after I checked my answer to make sure it was right (because I’m a parent and I can do that), it was a great feeling to know that I had indeed figured it out! I am no longer afraid of balancing chemical equations – because I am a badass and I rock that sh*t. I was able to help my daughter figure it out and in the end we both learned something new. What if…what if…it is the same with figuring out my emotional eating issues??? What if it becomes fun to take that pause before I eat and say “Okay, are you hungry? and if you aren’t hungry, what is it that you really need?” Maybe I am a chemical equation just begging to be balanced! 🙂

I am in the process of completely turning my weight loss process upside down and inside out. I’m reading a lot of emotional eating resources and listening to podcasts and trying on some new ideas about taking care of myself and really learning what is best for me, as decided by ME, not by an outside source. I am a reasonably intelligent, highly intuitive 43 year old woman – I know what I need to do and I’m finally doing it. For myself, it all has to come from inside – it has to be intrinsically motivated or else I will rebel against it and stamp my foot and say “you can’t make me!” (because, mature).

I have ended my time with Selvera, but I still very much recommend them for personal coaching and awesome hand-holding. I learned so, so much from my coach Amanda but I think it’s time I take off the training wheels and do what I instinctively know that I need to do, and that is figure out my brain and it’s habits and it’s misguided beliefs once and for all.

I don’t believe that I am a binge eater – I think I used to be, a long time ago, but I’m pretty sure that I’m just a garden-variety emotional eater now. I have confidence that I can figure this out, slowly but surely, and that some day in the not-so-distant future I’ll be on the other side of this issue. I know I can get to the other side. I just know it.