Getting emotional…again.

I survived Sr. Night – it was a really nice evening and I’m now pretty much over the whole not-meeting-my-goal thing. I think the next emotional hurdle will be the Winter Concert – my son has been in band since he was in 5th grade, so we’ve gone to this concert every year since then. I love this concert – it sort of rings in the Christmas season for me (it’s early in December) and it’s so interesting to hear how the grades progress. Yes I even love hearing the first year band students struggling through Jingle Bells! And by the time the high school students play, it really sounds lovely. This will most likely be the last Winter Concert we attend (unless I attend by myself – the rest of the family isn’t so into it) and that makes me sad. Just thinking about it makes me tear up!!

I wonder why these big milestones are such tear-jerkers? Graduating high school should be a happy time, but I can’t stop thinking about how things will be changing for him and for the rest of us. For so many years when my kids were in elementary and middle school, things just moved along steadily and predictably…not changing much year after year. But now, my son is graduating, then in a couple of years my daughter will driving, then she’ll graduate, then my youngest will be in high school and graduating. It feels like all the changes are going to come faster and faster until they’ll all be grown up and gone. I’m not ready for our little family unit to break apart!!!

SO MANY FEELS! CANNOT HANDLE ALL THE FEELS!

(BRB. Full on tears now)

Okay, I’m composed now. My makeup looks like sh*t, but oh well. No one’s here today anyway, so I can get away with looking all puffy and red-nosed for awhile.

Wow, this post has taken a hard left turn from where I originally intended it to go. Yikes.

You know what’s really crazy? My son isn’t even leaving home after he graduates. He’s going to a local college so he can live at home and save some money while he gets his general credits out of the way, then he’ll transfer to a 4 year college in a couple of years. All these tears are just because I know that our lives are transitioning…and apparently I don’t handle transition well.

All day yesterday I felt sad and tired and just plain lazy. I couldn’t figure out why until this morning when I realized that I haven’t taken an allergy pill in several days. Maybe taking the allergy pill will help my current emotional state – maybe when this bomb cyclone trickles down to us here it will kill all the allergens and I won’t need an allergy pill anymore. I don’t know why having allergies makes me sad – maybe it’s a by-product of being tired?? I don’t know, but I do know it sucks.

So…I need to list some good things.

  • We are combining families this Thanksgiving, having my husband’s parents and sister over as well as having my sister and her family over. I’m looking forward to it although it’s going to be a lot of work to get ready. But I’ve got my husband and kids to help with that – just have to buckle down and start doing it. I’ve already got a menu and a shopping list completed, and I have everything I need to set up.
  • My boss is gone to regional meetings all week long – I get the office to myself!! For some reason, this feels really indulgent.
  • Zumba. Zumba feels good right now. I started going to a new class and I really like it. I liked the old class, but they moved to a location that isn’t very big and this new class is at a gym where there is lots of room. Also the instructor is a fireball of energy and she makes it a lot of fun. She is also NOT thin. She’s probably my height and I would say she is around a size 12/14, and I absolutely love seeing someone who isn’t perfectly sculpted get up there and lead the class with confidence. I’ve been going on Thursdays, but I might start going more often if I can swing it.

I think that’s enough for a Monday. I hope you all had a lovely weekend! 🙂

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10 thoughts on “Getting emotional…again.

  1. Much discussion on the topic of your post at our house today.

    I honestly cannot relate for myself, I have always been super excited as each kid hit the next stage. Looking forward, not really the “this is the last ______” feelings. (One in grad school, one in undergrad, one in high school). I do wish I had more children though. If I had it to do over, we would have had 2-3 more. But I am acquiring more as these kids start pairing off, so that is good (looking forward).

    But, our youngest has gone through what you describe. She was ten when oldest moved off to another state for undergrad. She bawled for a year. When he came home she cried, when he left again she cried, she mostly just cried. He would not even have a chance to get out of the car and she would crawl on top of him, face buried in his chest. He spent the year covered in snot and tears . . .

    Oldest and I were talking about that today (in view of your post) and he does not think that was because she was ten. He thinks it is HER, at any age. He said now (she is 16) if he is home for a couple weeks, he can really tell it bothers her when he goes. And he goes a lot. He was out of state for undergrad. He did research, so was not home for whole summers. He was in Ireland for a semester. He has been on east coast now for 2 1/2 years in grad school. He is just getting ready to move even farther away on east coast to finish school.

    Middle and her boy are home a lot. And when they go, youngest sometimes says it is nice to go back to being the “only”. Even though she likes them a lot.

    Even though it is boy and girl and 8 years apart, she has always been very attached to oldest. He used to sit and rock her and watch Tim the Toolman Taylor on Tool Time while I cooked dinner. Evidently one of the smartest things I ever did.

    • I think youngest and I are cut from the same cloth. My oldest sister is ten years older than I am and when she left home at 19, I cried… a lot. She came home every weekend, but I still cried every time she left. So I completely understand youngest’s reactions to oldest.

      I think I have a hard time with goodbyes and the endings of things in general. Not sure why, but it’s always been that way.

  2. Hello Ms Sassy P ….I just came across your blog. As an almost 60 yr old [!] I wonder if you could comment on Zumba. I have started on my weight loss adventure [25 pounds down since Apr 1] & currently my exercise consists of lots of walking. I’m interested in other fitness activities so thought I’d enquire about zumba. I assume there are DVDs which might give me a sense of what happens in a class but I thought I’d “chat” with you. Any insight is appreciated!
    Cheers.
    Teresa

    • There are lots of different Zumba classes. I prefer the ones offered thru dance studios (vs gyms). There can be a lot of jumping with gym Zumba. Dance studio Zumba can be more dance like. I prefer the dance style. I think it is less prone to injuries too.

      There are classes geared toward beginners that teach moves. These are a great way to start. There are also older style classes which can be a great place to make (similar age) friends. There are also Zumba classes that use light weights. That can be a harder level workout.

      And having the instructor face the front/her back toward you (vs facing you) helps a lot when starting.

      When you are a beginner,, it helps to either do arms or legs, but not try to do both. So if you are learning the foot moves, just put your hands on your hips and focus on your feet.

      Each instructor has her own routines to certain songs. The same song with a different instructor will often have different moves. So it helps to stick to one instructor for a while.

      You will (likely) be lost when you start. Be able to have a smile about it. You will pick it up quicker than you realize.

      • Hello Vickie ….thanks for taking the time to provide such a complete summary! I’ll be sure to take your points into consideration as I look into Zumba classes.
        Cheers.
        Teresa

        • Vickie covered it pretty well! If you like to do any kind of dancing, you’ll have fun. If you don’t like to dance, then Zumba might not be your cup o’ tea. I think the most important thing in the beginning is to NOT get caught up in how complex the steps look. There is usually a pattern to the steps and if you just let yourself go and have fun, you’ll get the steps down eventually and have a great workout. 🙂

  3. <—married a pear shape babe, she was 44D-35-63…I loved every inch of her…she hated her shape. Divorced 10 years now….she has a husband who is bigger (and much heavier…so much for male weight loss)..than me. Hope her health holds out …she hasn't gotten any smaller…love all you large ladies…but we CAN'T take care of you completely…some of that stuff you have to DO YOURSELF!! WW in barbecue buffet land…Fort Worth Texas

  4. Awww. I sort of imagine senior year is cutting little threads almost every day. It’s sort of that bridge into being an adult. We can still help them, but we’ll no longer be sued if they do something stupid because they’re not minors anymore… er, I mean, they’ll be so responsible all on their own! 🙂

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