• My son is a senior and there is a lot going on with him – college decisions, money for something every time I turn around, trying to keep it together when I think about all the “lasts” we are coming up on.
  • My teenage daughter and I are butting heads lately. Typical stuff, but it’s wearing me thin.
  • The transmission on my son’s car went out. Quotes for repair all seem to run  in the $1500 range. Blargh!
  • My boss is having gastric bypass surgery in a couple of months. He’s going to lose all kinds of weight, while I sit here and try not to eat my feelings about it. I think this probably bothers me more than I realize.
  • I base my value on how I look. There I said it. Logically, I know that’s bullsh*t, but emotionally, I feel like I am less-than because I am fat and not attractive. I feel like I don’t deserve to be with my husband – he’s tall, thin, and good looking. I feel like a short, fat troll when I am with him. (I am not fishing for compliments so please don’t gush to me about how wrong I am about this. I know it’s ridiculous, but that’s how I’m feeling right now for whatever reason. I’m working through it.) He has never said or done anything to make me feel this way – it’s all me.
  • Everything is so expensive nowadays, and I always feel like money just slips through my fingers at an alarming rate. Trying to buy food for two teenagers and a preteen (and my husband and myself) while also keeping things somewhat healthy and within budget feels like taking a calculus test. Going to the grocery store stresses me out.
  • I have been having neck and shoulder pain for the last 18 years, but it’s gotten worse in the last month or so. I feel like I have a permanent crick in my neck on the right side. I need to get to a chiropractor or a masseuse but see previous bullet point. I know, I know, I need to just go, but finding time and how to pay for it stresses me out too, so I keep putting it off, which also stresses me out.
  • ALLERGIES. My freaking allergies are working their magic again. Remember when I said allergies make me feel sort of depressed? It’s fun to be me right now. And by fun, I mean sad and sleepy and eating everything in sight.
  • I think I need to start drinking heavily. Then I won’t care about anything! Except for DUIs, getting fired from my job, and having blackouts. Okay maybe I won’t start drinking just yet.

I think those are the big things right now. I know this too shall pass, but right now when I’m in the middle of it, it suuuuucks. I had a bad weekend (really just Saturday afternoon into Sunday) where I ate with abandon, which is now making me feel like a total loser. I’ll get back on the rails eventually, because I always do, but this has been a hard take-down. I’m feeling a little bruised and beaten (by my own hand, I admit) but I’ll be okay eventually.