Things that are making me nuts lately

Standard
  • My son is a senior and there is a lot going on with him – college decisions, money for something every time I turn around, trying to keep it together when I think about all the “lasts” we are coming up on.
  • My teenage daughter and I are butting heads lately. Typical stuff, but it’s wearing me thin.
  • The transmission on my son’s car went out. Quotes for repair all seem to run  in the $1500 range. Blargh!
  • My boss is having gastric bypass surgery in a couple of months. He’s going to lose all kinds of weight, while I sit here and try not to eat my feelings about it. I think this probably bothers me more than I realize.
  • I base my value on how I look. There I said it. Logically, I know that’s bullsh*t, but emotionally, I feel like I am less-than because I am fat and not attractive. I feel like I don’t deserve to be with my husband – he’s tall, thin, and good looking. I feel like a short, fat troll when I am with him. (I am not fishing for compliments so please don’t gush to me about how wrong I am about this. I know it’s ridiculous, but that’s how I’m feeling right now for whatever reason. I’m working through it.) He has never said or done anything to make me feel this way – it’s all me.
  • Everything is so expensive nowadays, and I always feel like money just slips through my fingers at an alarming rate. Trying to buy food for two teenagers and a preteen (and my husband and myself) while also keeping things somewhat healthy and within budget feels like taking a calculus test. Going to the grocery store stresses me out.
  • I have been having neck and shoulder pain for the last 18 years, but it’s gotten worse in the last month or so. I feel like I have a permanent crick in my neck on the right side. I need to get to a chiropractor or a masseuse but see previous bullet point. I know, I know, I need to just go, but finding time and how to pay for it stresses me out too, so I keep putting it off, which also stresses me out.
  • ALLERGIES. My freaking allergies are working their magic again. Remember when I said allergies make me feel sort of depressed? It’s fun to be me right now. And by fun, I mean sad and sleepy and eating everything in sight.
  • I think I need to start drinking heavily. Then I won’t care about anything! Except for DUIs, getting fired from my job, and having blackouts. Okay maybe I won’t start drinking just yet.

I think those are the big things right now. I know this too shall pass, but right now when I’m in the middle of it, it suuuuucks. I had a bad weekend (really just Saturday afternoon into Sunday) where I ate with abandon, which is now making me feel like a total loser. I’ll get back on the rails eventually, because I always do, but this has been a hard take-down. I’m feeling a little bruised and beaten (by my own hand, I admit) but I’ll be okay eventually.

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12 thoughts on “Things that are making me nuts lately

  1. Jacque

    I am feeling the same things, Kids and money and feeling unattractive. I know it is me and my own mindset it is so hard to shake it though. I don’t have much to offer other than I and with you and you aren’t the only one feeling this way.

  2. Cathy

    So many of us can relate to every feeling you are having. We know we shouldn’t feel like that, but some days we just do. This too will pass. I should have gone to my cycling class this afternoon. But here I am, curled up in bed reading health articles and blogs.

  3. Regina Harrison

    We’ve never met, so how the heck did you get inside my head and read my thoughts?! (Except the part about the teenager…) It’s a one day at a time deal. Which sucks. I want to be fit and at my ideal weight after taking a pill or exercising for 47 minutes. You’re awesome for sharing your story. Thank you!

  4. Oh, me! (waves hand in the air) I’ve got the allergies, and feeling like short, fat, dumpy and worthless next to my mum’s family who are all gorgeous. Isn’t life fun sometimes?

    And Regina, yesterday I exercised for a whole hour. Why aren’t I thin yet? Why does it take so long?

  5. Oh my, it’s like you’re in my head! I only have one teen, but can relate to everything you’ve said. Just remember, tomorrow is another day. Be thankful for every moment, and know that nothing is permanent.

  6. Go to a physical therapist who will teach you to stretch, strengthen to fix problem (not just crack it). Yoga stretches can help, but probably need PT because it has been going on so long.

    Darling, we have one in grad school, one in college, one in private high school headed to college (and then probably grad school) in fall of 2016. We have one extra one (middle’s boy) who is home if she is home.

    If any of the college dorm stuff is still on line at Target or anywhere, and he is going away to school, buy at clearance prices.

    My suggestion is not to pat you on the head, but instead say – Roll your body image perceptions into motivation. If it bothers you, it did me big time, then take care of it so you can move forward and get rid of those feelings. I had to have my inner and outer match. I think people need that balance in a lot of areas of their lives.

  7. Wow, I must say its nice to know I’m not the only person married to a skinny dude. I’ve been emotional eating IN PRIVATE so like if nobody sees me eat, no one will see my ass get larger! I’m trying so hard to keep on track…. Let me know if you need a drinking buddy.. Just kidding.

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