Weepy Day

I can’t even put into words what I’ve been feeling this week. I’ve started and deleted this sentence 8 times already, but if I don’t get it out somehow, I’ll crumble into a sobbing mess soon. 

Monday and Tuesday were busy with kids’ activities and errands, overshadowed by Robin Williams’ death and that of Lauren Bacall. Her death made me sad, but differently than RW’s. I finally had to stop reading everything about him and turn on the 80s Lovesongs station on Pandora just so I could stop thinking for awhile and get some work done yesterday (nothing like reliving your teenage years through song to get you out of a slump!). I am so sad about his death but I’m really thankful for the dialogue that it has started regarding mental health. It’s so important to let people know that it’s absolutely okay to ask for help, get help, take medication, go to therapy…whatever it is they need to do to feel better. And everyone deserves to feel better. Everyone. 

Today my kids started school again, and it’s also the beginning of my son’s senior year in high school. This morning I took his LAST first-day-of-school picture and it was all I could do to not burst into tears right then (but I already had my make up on and was ready to leave for work). It’s all going by way too fast – and if I think about it too much I’ll burst into tears (but I can’t because I’m at work and I have no extra makeup with me). I know this year is going to be difficult for my son because of a heavy course load and lots of band activities, and my oldest daughter is in 8th grade, which, you know…girl drama. I hope I can help her navigate that minefield. My youngest is in 4th grade – she’ll coast through it, I have no doubt, but I hope her needs don’t get overshadowed by the needs of the older two. I’m already worried about how to handle everything. 

What I’m saying is, I really need to have a big, gushing, soul-cleansing cry but I have neither the time nor the space in which to do it. :/

In a cruel joke, as if the above things weren’t enough to make me sad on their own, Mother Nature decide this week would be perfect for starting my cycle. Because I NEED to be extra sad and weepy and cranky and tired and sad. Thanks Mother Nature – you suck. How about you grab some salt and rub it into my wounds while you’re at it? 

Delightful, is what I am this week. And such a joy to be around! Oh, I’ll be fine in a few days, but today I’m just trying to process everything and writing is how I do that. 

Curious, how do you guys deal with sadness/bad news/hard times? Crying is a good release for me, but it’s hard when I feel like I can’t do it, so writing it out is sometimes a good substitute. What do you do to release difficult emotions? 


8 thoughts on “Weepy Day

  1. My oldest son’s first day (Kinder) and last day (senior year) were the same…me crying and him saying ‘It’ll be okay Mom’. Which made me cry even more. With my younger guy it was a bit easier, but I can so relate to what you’re experiencing. But, seriously not fair that TOM joined in.

    I’ve had to stop reading FB for a bit till the chatter quiets about RW’s death. My heart has been heavy/sad for him, his family, all of us who were touched by him. I admit I also have been angry at people who have no experience related to depression or suicide and proceed to talk about what he should/didn’t do, how he had other choices, etc. The heartbreaking thing about depression, bi-polar, and other serious mental health issues is there can be a place of bone-weary tiredness. I think for me, the root of my grief for him is he arrived at that place.

    And yep, I’m a verbal processor, tears emoting kinda girl. I learned a long time ago, I have to talk through my feelings and/or write about them to feel better.

    Hang in there, Mom 😉

  2. I cried quite a bit during my oldest kid’s senior year. It’s hard for us moms – we know there’s a huge change on the horizon. It’ll be OK…and find the time to let the tears out. You’ll feel better…until the next “last” thing pops up.

  3. Wait, I’m supposed to deal with my emotions?

    *hugs* (and I talk a lot, run, and when all else fails there’s napping… or chocolate. Sorry, but it’s true.)

  4. I have to get going on something proactive. You were already up and dressed and moving when you wrote this. That is the stuff that helps me.

    I have one in grad school on east coast who will not be moving back to our area (probably ever). I have one starting her last year on campus tomorrow. Not sure where she will go. And pretty serious boyfriend. The two oldest both did stints in Europe so we have done major long distance too.

    My baby is junior in high school.

    My baby had a very hard time when oldest moved to campus his freshman (under grad) year. She cried for most of that year. She was ten.

    We have learned to do very fun things when they are home so they want to come home.

    I have learned to do group text updates so everyone knows what is going on.

    I have learned to be very low stress so they are not afraid to tell me things. I get a lot of long update phone calls.

    Oldest has been gone from living at this house for a long time now, still just as close.

    I write about kids, college, dating, academics a lot. That helps too.

  5. Oh, so sorry you’re weepy. Yes, screw mother nature. She’s a bitch. Sometimes I just give into the sadness and decide to really feel it for a couple of days. It sort of makes me more relaxed and sad, rather than trying to resist the sadness. Writing will help, crying will help, but if all you can do is sit around and feel sad, I think that’s OK, too. I heard this saying, “Some days it’s OK if the only thing you did was breathe.”

  6. I think I have yet to develop a way to deal with this kind of stuff. It would probably be best if I talked to someone once in a while, but it’s not a thing we do in our family. I just don’t know how.

    1. I know what you mean, same thing in my family. I finally went a couple of years ago when I just couldn’t take it anymore. I simply looked at my husband and said I think I need to talk to someone and he said Go. So I did. It was less of a big deal than I thought it would be. (((Hugs)))

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