Assertive

This week has been hectic and busy and it seems like all my plans for this week have been shot. Well I guess that’s not totally true, but it sure feels that way. 

On Monday I missed getting up in time for my morning workout, but I had planned on getting it done after work that evening. I came home, changed into my workout clothes, grabbed a yogurt to eat real quick and just as I was getting ready to pull the lid off, my SIL dropped by. Which was fine – I don’t see her very often and I enjoy talking with her – except she ended up staying for 2 hours which meant that not only did I miss my workout, I didn’t get dinner ready until after 8 pm, and I had some work stuff I needed to do that didn’t get finished. In the grand scheme of things, I would rather spend 2 hours talking with a friend than working out and fixing dinner, but it sort of threw me off my schedule. Monday night, I couldn’t sleep. I tossed and turned most of the night which led me to…

missing my alarm on Tuesday morning. 😦 So no workout Tuesday morning either which REALLY ticked me off (at myself). I had planned on running some errands after work but in the middle of the afternoon my husband texted me “lets go out to dinner tonight”. After work, while I waited for him to get home I was feeling really anxious about missing my workouts and messing up my pre-planned menu for the week, so I grazed on some pita chips and probably other things that I shouldn’t have that I can’t even remember what they were now. I have been specifically working on NOT doing this but old habits die hard. Really, really freaking hard.  Once we got to the restaurant, I did fine, probably because I wasn’t starving due to the mini-binge beforehand. I had grilled shrimp and a baked sweet potato but I was still mad at myself for turning to food for comfort. I’m trying really hard stop that behavior, but I obviously have a ways to go. 

Wednesday, was actually a perfect day, now that I think about it. I worked out early, stayed on plan all day, went to bed and slept like a rock. No grazing or bingeing or eating off-plan. Woohoo! 

And then today…I didn’t get up and work out because I knew my husband was going to get up at the time I normally work out (which is an hour earlier than he normally wakes up) and I just felt weird about working out in front of him. I’ve done it before, but 5:15 – 6am has become MY TIME and I sort of felt like he would have been invading my space. So I just went back to bed for another hour. Which ended up just making me feel disappointed in myself when I finally did get up. 

The reason these 3 days (Monday, Tuesday, and today) didn’t work out well is because I wasn’t assertive and didn’t put my needs at the top of the list. I get really frustrated when I let others decide how my day goes or when I know that something is important to me but I de-prioritize it for someone else. This is a recurring theme in my weight loss life. Actually it’s a recurring theme in my life-life too. I need to be assertive enough to say “I would love to chat with you, but I’m getting ready to work out – care to join me?”* or “Just so you know, I’m going to work out in the morning so you might want to have your morning coffee out on the patio”. I know it’s going to take practice but it’s something I really need to get a handle on ASAP. Actually it’s something I should have gotten a handle on many years ago. Recognizing and BELIEVING that my needs are valid is going to be a big hurdle, but I’m willing to keep working on it. 

How do you handle interruptions and changes like these? Do you git-r-done no matter what, or are you a pushover like me? 🙂 

*thanks to Kyra for suggesting this one. The bonus to this phrase is that either they will join you and you’ll have a workout buddy OR they’ll leave in a hurry! LOL! 

 

  One thought on “Assertive

  1. June 27, 2014 at 6:36 pm

    If I let other people stop me exercising, its only because I really really don’t want to anyway so I love having the excuse. Any excuse will do. It’s not actually that I don’t like exercise, its just this inertia that makes getting off the couch and changing clothes seem too much effort. That is what I need to work on! I’m assertive enough when I want to be.

  2. June 29, 2014 at 12:26 pm

    I have a hard time making my needs a priority, too. Sometimes I don’t do something because I think it will be inconvenient for someone else… Why do I have to make everyone’s life easier? You’re right…assertive is the word. Folks can accommodate ME because I am worth accommodating!

  3. Kyra
    June 30, 2014 at 2:33 pm

    I think moms are taught not to make their needs a priority. It’s tough putting ourselves first, even when no one else is around! *hugs*

  4. Jana
    July 8, 2014 at 2:59 am

    I’m with you on this one Jill, it does not take much convincing at all to have me skip a workout, and usually its the worse excuses ever. My goal for this year is to be more assertive. On the flip side though, if I don’t do a workout, that’s OK too, tomorrow’s a new day, and I’ll make sure I do what I need to do because at the end of the day I’m the only one missing out, I want to be successful at this!

  5. July 9, 2014 at 5:08 pm

    How are you doing? Good 4th?

  6. July 11, 2014 at 10:11 am

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  7. July 12, 2014 at 10:41 pm

    You might have said and I missed it – did you get rid of your ads? If so – Thank You. Driving me a little crazy on several blogs. Pop ups are really annoying on iPads.

  8. July 15, 2014 at 5:56 am

    It’s really important to say “No” to others, when you don’t want to live others’ life. It’s our own life. My credo sounds this way: “Our daily life simply consists of our daily choices and habits”. We live neither more nor less than our choices and habits.

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