Assertive

This week has been hectic and busy and it seems like all my plans for this week have been shot. Well I guess that’s not totally true, but it sure feels that way. 

On Monday I missed getting up in time for my morning workout, but I had planned on getting it done after work that evening. I came home, changed into my workout clothes, grabbed a yogurt to eat real quick and just as I was getting ready to pull the lid off, my SIL dropped by. Which was fine – I don’t see her very often and I enjoy talking with her – except she ended up staying for 2 hours which meant that not only did I miss my workout, I didn’t get dinner ready until after 8 pm, and I had some work stuff I needed to do that didn’t get finished. In the grand scheme of things, I would rather spend 2 hours talking with a friend than working out and fixing dinner, but it sort of threw me off my schedule. Monday night, I couldn’t sleep. I tossed and turned most of the night which led me to…

missing my alarm on Tuesday morning. 😦 So no workout Tuesday morning either which REALLY ticked me off (at myself). I had planned on running some errands after work but in the middle of the afternoon my husband texted me “lets go out to dinner tonight”. After work, while I waited for him to get home I was feeling really anxious about missing my workouts and messing up my pre-planned menu for the week, so I grazed on some pita chips and probably other things that I shouldn’t have that I can’t even remember what they were now. I have been specifically working on NOT doing this but old habits die hard. Really, really freaking hard.  Once we got to the restaurant, I did fine, probably because I wasn’t starving due to the mini-binge beforehand. I had grilled shrimp and a baked sweet potato but I was still mad at myself for turning to food for comfort. I’m trying really hard stop that behavior, but I obviously have a ways to go. 

Wednesday, was actually a perfect day, now that I think about it. I worked out early, stayed on plan all day, went to bed and slept like a rock. No grazing or bingeing or eating off-plan. Woohoo! 

And then today…I didn’t get up and work out because I knew my husband was going to get up at the time I normally work out (which is an hour earlier than he normally wakes up) and I just felt weird about working out in front of him. I’ve done it before, but 5:15 – 6am has become MY TIME and I sort of felt like he would have been invading my space. So I just went back to bed for another hour. Which ended up just making me feel disappointed in myself when I finally did get up. 

The reason these 3 days (Monday, Tuesday, and today) didn’t work out well is because I wasn’t assertive and didn’t put my needs at the top of the list. I get really frustrated when I let others decide how my day goes or when I know that something is important to me but I de-prioritize it for someone else. This is a recurring theme in my weight loss life. Actually it’s a recurring theme in my life-life too. I need to be assertive enough to say “I would love to chat with you, but I’m getting ready to work out – care to join me?”* or “Just so you know, I’m going to work out in the morning so you might want to have your morning coffee out on the patio”. I know it’s going to take practice but it’s something I really need to get a handle on ASAP. Actually it’s something I should have gotten a handle on many years ago. Recognizing and BELIEVING that my needs are valid is going to be a big hurdle, but I’m willing to keep working on it. 

How do you handle interruptions and changes like these? Do you git-r-done no matter what, or are you a pushover like me? 🙂 

*thanks to Kyra for suggesting this one. The bonus to this phrase is that either they will join you and you’ll have a workout buddy OR they’ll leave in a hurry! LOL! 

 

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8 thoughts on “Assertive

  1. If I let other people stop me exercising, its only because I really really don’t want to anyway so I love having the excuse. Any excuse will do. It’s not actually that I don’t like exercise, its just this inertia that makes getting off the couch and changing clothes seem too much effort. That is what I need to work on! I’m assertive enough when I want to be.

  2. I have a hard time making my needs a priority, too. Sometimes I don’t do something because I think it will be inconvenient for someone else… Why do I have to make everyone’s life easier? You’re right…assertive is the word. Folks can accommodate ME because I am worth accommodating!

  3. I think moms are taught not to make their needs a priority. It’s tough putting ourselves first, even when no one else is around! *hugs*

  4. I’m with you on this one Jill, it does not take much convincing at all to have me skip a workout, and usually its the worse excuses ever. My goal for this year is to be more assertive. On the flip side though, if I don’t do a workout, that’s OK too, tomorrow’s a new day, and I’ll make sure I do what I need to do because at the end of the day I’m the only one missing out, I want to be successful at this!

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  6. You might have said and I missed it – did you get rid of your ads? If so – Thank You. Driving me a little crazy on several blogs. Pop ups are really annoying on iPads.

  7. It’s really important to say “No” to others, when you don’t want to live others’ life. It’s our own life. My credo sounds this way: “Our daily life simply consists of our daily choices and habits”. We live neither more nor less than our choices and habits.

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