A few weeks ago I made a goal for myself that I would be out of the 190s by the end of April. Early last week I weighed in at 191.3 – I was giddy thinking “I can do this!!” Well this morning I find myself still firmly entrenched in the 190s – 193.5 to be exact. I believe my exact words were “WHAT THE HELL?!” when I saw that number come up on the scale. I was sure I would see a loss today. 

We went out to dinner last night for my daughter’s birthday and I had a house salad with balsamic vinaigrette, then grilled shrimp and steamed broccoli for my entree. I did have one small yeast roll towards the end of my meal – hey, I’m proud that I held off for that long. I’m sure that the weekend’s activities and last night’s restaurant fare are partly to blame for the gain, but I am still frustrated. 

I’m frustrated because my body gives me no wiggle room when it comes to losing weight. I feel like I have to be 100% spot-on perfect in my diet and exercise in order to show a loss. That’s why it takes me so long to lose weight, because I cannot be that perfect every day. I can do it for a few days, but then something happens that causes me to go off course I choose, for whatever reason, to go off course. Sometimes it’s the “I deserve it” effect: I’ve been good for 4 days so I deserve a little bit of dessert. Most of the time though it’s not so much that I think I deserve it, but I think to myself things like “it’s okay if I eat ABC because I ran 3 miles this morning” or “It’s okay if I eat XYZ because I had a salad for lunch” or “I lost 1.5 pounds this week and obviously I’m on a losing streak, so it’s okay if I eat LMNOP and a little bit of QRSTUV as well.” It’s not so much I deserve this as it is I can get away with this.


Sometimes I feel like losing weight isn’t really about losing pounds of fat, it’s about looking inside yourself and realizing what a nut job you really are. 

I know logically the number on the scale is only one small teeny part of the big picture, and I know I’ve made leaps and bounds in my progress in other areas. I know this. I do. And I know also that I just need to keep plugging away and staying connected to my plan because it IS working, my body just enjoys taking the slow and steady route and I need to make peace with that. 

Please understand I’m just venting here. I think the weekend was a little too much for me and I’m still tired. I am pleased with the weight that I’ve lost so far and I know I’ll continue to lose. I also know that my weight pattern tends to go in a crazy zigzag and that my weight is usually up after the weekend, and I’ll buckle down and be perfect for a few days and the number will drop even lower. Two steps forward, one step back is still forward progress.

I just wish this cha-cha I’m doing would move a little bit faster. :/



9 thoughts on “Frustrated

  1. Stick with it, you can do it! We’ve been on our health re-boot since the beginning of the year and I still have to fight the urge to snack (that was our biggest problem). If I have a nibble of something after dinner, I’m suddenly craving EVERYTHING! I just remind myself that it’s the average in the long run, not any one day (or week). 🙂

  2. Dear Jill
    Like Lori, I also can REALLY relate to your post! My body has been cha-chaing it for 40 years. I find that if I “treat” myself for one day my weigh-in that week is not what I was anticipating. On the flip side, I also am pleasantly surprised when I lose more than I was anticipating! God must be a man!! Hang in there. I’ve been following a 12 week walking programme & this is my last week. I got really brave &/or stupid & jogged for the last minute. I’m sure I looked like a big doofus, but what the heck!!


  3. Just wrote about the ‘I deserve it’ thing…I have been doing this for a while..and if you want a life of frustration (such as my last two years)…do the “I deserve it’ diet. LOL. Ironically, it is aptly named…because you get the weight loss you deserve. I am now trying the “I already ate that” diet…because, to be fair, I already ate that…whatever it is…I have eaten it. Now it’s time to not eat it, so I can reach my goals.

  4. If the number goes right down within 2-3 days of clean eating, then it was probably salt. Restaurant food is often loaded.

    Straight carbs (like bread) sends the scale right up for me. I can see it on the outside of my body too (belly swell). That goes right back down too.

    Water, water, water (plain water) usually helps. Along with the straight and narrow . . .

  5. Chris’s “already ate that diet” – love it… I already ate that! Been there, done that, got the t-shirt in XXL, thank you, very mucho. Now it’s time to not eat it so I can reach my goals. Thank you, Chris, for that perspective.

    “it’s about looking inside yourself and realizing what a nut job you really are. ” — Sometimes you feel like a nut, sometimes you don’t. I know I’m totally nuts.

  6. Amazing I’m in almost the same boat! I’m trying now to get out of the what can I get away with mind set.

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