Events and Circumstances

Ever since Homecoming weekend, I’ve been thinking about regret and how I don’t want to experience it like that ever again. I have several significant and some not-so-significant events coming up in the next few weeks, months, and years and I would like to be prepared for them by losing the weight now so I can hopefully avoid that shameful feeling of “why didn’t I get my weight under control sooner??” I will not be caught like that again. 

So here is a list of events that will be guilt-inducing if I don’t start the weight-loss train moving ASAP.

Starting in 2014 (I figure there’s not much I can do about the rest of 2013 – I can’t healthfully lose enough weight in 2 months to make a visible difference – trust me, I know my body and it ain’t happening. That doesn’t mean I won’t be working on it for the rest of the year though.) : 

  • My birthday, in March. If I have to face another birthday being less than happy with myself, I’m going to throw a tantrum like I’m 3 instead of 43.
  • The high school’s 5k run is usually right around my birthday. This has more to do with being fit enough to run as opposed to looking good. I didn’t run it last year and I missed it. If I start training now, I should be good to go come March. Although with my plantar’s fasciitis acting up the way it has been, I may be walking it instead of running, but either way, I’ll be in that race.
  • Easter – we always take a casual family picture of all of us dressed up in our Sunday Best. And I always manage to wrangle my kids to stand in front of me in order to hide my broad body. For once, I’d like to feel as pretty as a spring day in one of those photos. 
  • Summer vacation – does this one even need an explanation??? We’re talking swimsuits here, people. Ugh. 
  • I just realized that my 25th high school reunion will be next year (if we even have one – not certain that we will but better to be prepared for it). 
  • My wedding anniversary – I wistfully look at the picture of my husband and I on our wedding day and long for those collarbones. I would love to spend an anniversary where I don’t feel bad that my husband has a chubby wife. (Even though I will readily admit that I am a fabulous wife in many other ways)
  • The new school year – August feels more like the New Year for me than January, and I’m always disappointed that I can’t start the new school year being a thin and fit mom in shiny new shoes with my school box ready to go. 
  • Parent/Teacher conferences – I don’t know why, but I’m always acutely aware of my weight when I go to these things. 
  • My son will be a Senior next year (did I really just type those words? Waaah!!) which means Senior Night at basketball homecoming. This requires that each Senior be walked across the gym floor by his/her parents to be recognized. I realize that all the attention will be on my son, but I don’t want a thousand pairs of eyes staring at my butt, especially my big butt. I already dread this walk. 
  • In 2016 will be our 20th wedding anniversary and we are talking about Hawaii. HAWAII. For us, that’s a trip of a lifetime and I refuse to be riddled with guilt and shame and regret as I suck down pina coladas that will hopefully be served by a tanned and toned cabana boy. 
  • There are other situations that inevitably come up throughout the year like meeting a friend’s beautiful new girlfriend, or running into old friends, or even just shopping that can produce anxiety and guilt for me. I want to be ready when these things happen. 

I already have a theme for 2014. Can you guess what it is? NO MORE REGRETS. That’s it. That’s the goal I’m working toward – I don’t want to regret anything because of my weight. No more regretting that I’m too tired to go play outside with my kids. No more regretting that I can’t find a suitable outfit for date night with the hubs. No more regretting that I didn’t train for that 5k race. No more regretting that I ate my weight in candy after Halloween (ahem). NO MORE. 

I’m done. Sooooo done. 

Anyone with me on this? 

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6 thoughts on “Events and Circumstances

  1. I hear you! Though I Suck, suck, suck with goals and deadlines. BUt I have 52 lbs to lose (would love it to be 62, but trying to be realistic) after having lost 32 already (still have 15 to lose to get to the weight I was in Feb 2011 before GAINING 50!). But I digress….I am sick of the weight and I need to get it off before menopause hits (I already am the lovely age of 43, so hopefully menopause is still 7 years away, but I want to ENJOY being thin(ner) before that lovely time). My son will be entering K next fall and while I was a fat-mama when my daughter entered K, maybe I can be different for him.

    No more excuses, that is why i used November 1st as my New Year’s – no reason to wait until January 1st.

  2. Aw Katie, thanks!! That’s so sweet of you to say. I’m getting a little verklempt over here! 🙂

    Thanks for the Orthoheel suggestion – I will check it out!!

  3. I’ve got to get my head in the game so I can be with you. I am painfully aware of regrets (gained 10 pounds this past month–my eating has been a train wreck). I admire you for making that list.

  4. Hi,

    This has given me so much inspiration, I am going to make a list exactly like this for the coming year. I’ve recently put on all the weight I lost a couple of years ago and I’m finding it really hard to shift it. I’m sick of not having the motivation to do something about it but then beat myself up about it when I have to go to an event where I don’t feel comfortable with my weight.

    Good luck

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