Blogging up a tornado

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Helloooooo!!!! Work’s been a tad bit busy lately, ergo no time to post, but here I am today – willing and ready to blog up a storm!

Well, maybe not a storm, maybe a little rain shower? A passing dark cloud that has the potential for some precipitation? Whatever, I’ll just start typing and we’ll see what happens as a result.

So, last Saturday’s weigh in resulted in another pound lost. I weighed in at 191.2 and received my first 5 pound star as well (I’ve actually lost 5.8 pounds for those of you keeping track). I would have had a bigger loss on the scale but the hubs and I went out on this thing called a “date” on Friday night. It’s been so long since we’ve gone that I couldn’t actually remember what one does on a date. Apparently for us it includes eating Mexican food and seeing a movie (we’re so original). I intended to skip the chip basket and just order something small, but I was too hungry when we got to the restaurant and I’m ashamed to admit that I demolished the chip basket and the salsa that came with it. I also had a small-ish margarita, because hey, Mexican food. I ordered grilled shrimp and onions, but unfortunately said shrimp came covered in a cheese sauce. The upside is that the cheese sauce was not very thick so it only lightly coated the shrimp instead of being thick and gooey and attaching itself at the hip of the shrimp. Anyway, I didn’t lose as much as I probably would have if we had just eaten at home, is what I’m saying, but I’ll take a one pound loss any day – I’m happy with it.

From Saturday until last night, I kind of went off the rails and I’m not even sure why. There was too much snacking, too much tasting, too-big portions, just too much. I don’t think it’s because I’ve been restricting myself or feeling deprived, on the contrary, for the last four weeks I’ve felt good about my food choices and made sure to include a few treats here and there. I think it’s because 1) I haven’t been drinking enough water, and 2) I haven’t been getting enough fruits and vegetables. I am amazed at how differently my “wanting” behaves when I eat lots of fruits/veggies versus when I don’t. If I don’t eat a big salad at least once a day, I get super snacky, or if I eat too much processed stuff then I find myself wanting more More MORE. When my food is clean and balanced, I am much more able to deal with the “wants”. I know there are a lot of you out there right now reading this and thinking “Well duh, Jill!” but until you can get on the other side of that mountain, you don’t realize how it can affect you. I’ve never been on the other side of the mountain until now. Sure, I’ve heard others say it, but I have to experience it for myself before it becomes real to me. I finally gave myself a mental “snap out of it!” and I packed a huge salad for lunch today, along with some fruit and nuts for a snack later.

Oh I gotta tell you about breakfast: lately I’ve been eating wheat toast with Laughing Cow cream cheese wedges and a glass of milk, but I felt like I needed more protein to hold me through the morning, so I did something I promised myself I would never ever do again. I was short on time, and felt that I had to lower my standards and do something I haven’t done in 30 years. I…(I’m so ashamed to admit this)…I…microwaved my eggs this morning. GAG!!! They were as nasty as I remembered from when we first got our microwave when I was 10 and I thought making scrambled eggs in the magic cooking box was the greatest thing ever. Only they weren’t the greatest thing ever. Not even close. Granted, I overcooked them this morning because I was going off of what I remembered from 30 years ago – I can’t even remember what I did last week, you really expect me to remember things from 30 years ago? Anyway, they were dry and rubbery and completely gaggy, but I ate them anyway and I’m please that they have held my hunger in check all morning long, so it wasn’t a total failure. And yes, I’ve heard about cooking eggs in a mug or whatever, but for me, the microwave is good for reheating or defrosting, but cooking? Not so much. I like my eggs fresh and fluffy and cooked on the stove thankyouverymuch.

In other news, here’s a work update if you’ve been following that saga: nothing has changed. My boss is not quitting (I’m not surprised) and things are rolling the same as they have for the last 6 years. Nothing is going to change, and I’ve learned to accept that. I’ve also learned to just appreciate what I have here (lots of freedom and a convenient location, plus excellent benefits) and ignore the rest. Most of the jobs that are comparable to my position pay a lot less (like a whole lot less) and with this economy, I’m better off just staying put for right now. If something amazing falls into my lap, sure I’ll take it, but I keep checking the sky and so far nothing looks to be falling in my lap’s general direction. I’m here to stay for awhile apparently.

In other, other news, I’ve decided to put therapy on hold for awhile. I had a session last week and we spent most of that time looking for things to talk about. She was glad I had started Weight Watchers – she thought the boundaries would be good for me (as in simplifying things for me) and since I’m feeling so much better than I was 6 months ago, she said that instead of scheduling another appointment, I could just call her if I felt like I needed to. So that’s the route we’re going for now. If I feel like things are getting out of my hands, I’ll call her and we’ll pick it up again, but for now I feel really good about things. I think the birth control is helping my moods and of course eating better is helping as well. So for today, right now, I feel good and can’t justify the expense of therapy. It’s nice knowing it’s out there for me though, if I feel I need it.

So that’s the latest, folks. Was that a storm? Do you feel like I blogged up a storm? Do you feel as if you’ve been swept up in the tornado of my life? I’m a tornado, looking for a man to break, you know. Okay, gotta run. Well not really, more like twist wildly, because I’m, you know, a tornado.

 

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13 thoughts on “Blogging up a tornado

  1. debby

    Are you thrilled with your 5.8 pounds lost so far? You should be! And as far as the chips and salsa go? I’ve had them at least 3X since starting this latest diet. What’s the point of going to a mexican restaurant without having the chips?

    Eggs in the microwave–GROSS. I couldn’t even stand the smell when my co-workers would do that. Salad? YEAH! I’ve been enjoying some reduced calorie salads lately (my salads usually ended up at 300 cal, so they had to be the whole meal.

    Too bad about work not changing, but on the other hand, so good about your attitude. Just yesterday I changed my attitude about something in the morning and it made the whole day better. Who knew?

  2. Laura N.

    You sound much better, Jill! Glad things are going well.

    My brother in law’s girlfriend (from Colorado) is a raw food chef. When they were here last July, we talked about food a lot. She said that when your body doesn’t get the nutrients it needs from fruits & veggies, it makes you keep eating, looking for the nutrients it needs. When we eat junk, we aren’t getting those, and so, our brains tell us to keep eating until we get what we need. That made a lot of sense to me. I also know that, for me, when I eat refined foods with sugar/fat/flour combinations, I crave and I eat more.

    I do fine with eggs in the microwave. I add a Tbsp of milk, salt & pepper, and whisk well, microwave for 50 seconds, and they are fine, for me. Obviously my standards are pretty low with eggs! I have found that egg beaters are more fluffy than a real egg. Maybe try that?

    Have you eaten Ezekial bread? It’s in the freezer section. It’s made from sprouted grain, not wheat flour. I only like it toasted. I will put avocado and an egg on top. I like it with hummus and sliced turkey (I’m not eating meat now, but when I did this was a winning combo). I make grilled cheese with it. It’s denser than regular bread and more filling. Also doesn’t trigger cravings because it’s not refined.

    I think I saw my therapist for about 6 months, too, when we decided to change to an as needed basis. I’ve seen her several times since then when I needed to.

    You are taking the right attitude with work. Everyone has something they hate about their jobs. You have too many positives to let the negatives get you down. I know it must be hard, since you spend the majority of your waking hours at work, but changing your attitude like you are hopefully will help a lot.

    Keep on truckin’, girl!!

    • I just recently heard Dr. Oz say something along the lines of “your body doesn’t want calories, it wants nutrients”. That rang my ‘aha’ bell. He went on to explain basically the same thing your girlfriend-in-law said.

      Oh, and I forgot to add any milk to my eggs this morning – maybe that’s why they were so dry? Like I said, it’s been 30 years…

  3. myjourneytofit

    Woohoo on the nearly 6 pound loss – that’s pretty dang great! As for chips and salsa, I consider it a victory if we hold it to one basket when we go to a Mexican restaurant…

  4. I’m a bit under the weather (strep), and my work out wiped me out (although I only did it half-arsed). I took a break and started reading your blog. I stopped at “chips and salsa” and remembered I had made awesome salsa and had corn chip left over from the other night. It hit the spot. Yum. I told myself I’d log the chips, but I lost count. :/ Illness has a way of derailing me sometimes.

    It’s funny you mentioned the cream cheese and wheat toast. My favoritest thing this past month has been half a whole-wheat bagel with real cream cheese and about and ounce of New York style smoked salmon along side a cup of black coffee. That combo is a bit of heaven for me.

    I’m so proud of you and your progression. Your therapist is wonderful for not milking sessions out of you if you don’t need them right now.

    I’ve been dehydrated and forgetting to set my watch… I need to remind “you” to drink your water, again. 😉

  5. “because hey, Mexican food” LOL that sounds reason enough to me. I totally agree about microwave eggs, so weird! But just remember a loss is a loss no matter what size 🙂

  6. You can buy egg whites in a carton (next to egg beaters, no additives in the egg whites). They cook in 4-5 minutes. I cook 1/2 cup in very small pan that I spray, I cover with lid. When they are done, I flip them as I turn off the heat, and by the time I come back with my plate, they are done. The egg white omelette would work well, folded in half on a piece of toast. I did fine with eggs until suddenly they started impacting my cholesterol, so I think egg whites are just safer habit to start (that is what my kids eat now too).

    • I always use spinach and if I want a little crunch I’ll add some romaine. I rarely use iceberg anymore. And my boss took some things off his wall, but has yet to put them back. He never packed up his desk, just took away some (but not all) of the decorative items. I wonder if he really ever intended to leave at all.

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