This afternoon I’ll go to my Lady Doc appointment so I can talk to her about some options for dealing with my crazy moods. She’ll probably want to test my hormones, at least that’s what I’m going to ask her to do. I hope she can give me some viable options – I’m not going to ask for medication, but I will consider it if she thinks it could help.
I have a conundrum…I know that cleaning up my food would probably help my moods immensely, but it feels like I can’t tackle the food problem until I get my moods evened out. Make sense? It’s another version of the chicken and the egg dilemma: I need to eat better so I can balance out my hormones, but I don’t feel like I can eat better until I get my hormones balanced out. And I don’t feel like that’s a cop out either – the thought of eliminating sugar and processed foods feels so monumentally heavy, like walking through mud, that I just don’t think I have it in me to deal with that right now, even though I know it would help if I did.
This is what it’s like to live inside my head, folks. Like the spin cycle on a washing machine.
Last night Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer came on TV and I thought we would all sit down and watch it together. One by one, all 3 of my kids disappeared into different areas of the house until I was watching it alone (even the hubs slipped out of the house to do something different). At first I couldn’t believe that no one wanted to watch it, then I got sad, then I got mad. I was mad that no one wanted watch this classic Christmas show with me.
Let that sink in for a second: I was mad that no one wanted to watch a cartoon that we have all seen a bajillion times already (and that we have on dvd so we can actually watch it anytime). MAD. What is wrong with me?!?
I slunk around the house for about an hour being pissy until my 7 year old was telling me about her day and said she laughed so hard at school that snot came out of her nose. Normally I am grossed out by snot stories, but she said it in such a serious voice that I couldn’t help laughing. I laughed in spite of my bad mood, and then I was fine.
This up and down stuff is wearing me out. I hope I can get some relief soon. Are you sick sick sick of me talking about this stuff yet? Sorry, but I have a feeling I’ll be talking more about this in the coming days. Feel free to skip my little blog for the next couple of weeks, but just know that if you do decide to stop reading me, you’ll make the angels cry. But it’s totally up to you. No pressure.
On the bright side, I made more granola last night and I am way more excited about that than I should be. It’s the little things that get me through the day, people. Don’t judge.
I’m outta here. Later!