Thanksgiving weekend update

I am so thankful for all of you who left such nice comments on my last post. I am touched and really appreciate it.

I missed a call from the counseling place on Wednesday afternoon, and couldn’t get through when I called back so I’m going to call again today at lunch and see if I can’t get an appointment scheduled soon. I have the appointment with my Lady Doc on December 5th. I’m looking forward to both appointments.

Of course as it always happens, I felt better as soon as I talked with the initial counselor on the phone. I think just moving forward with all this has helped, but I still want to actually sit down and talk with someone. I felt really good Thursday and Friday, and mostly Saturday, but by late afternoon Saturday I was feeling down again. Not sure why but my mood just seemed to tank and I was somewhat pissy for the rest of the day. Sunday was better and Sunday evening I had a good talk with my husband about everything that’s been going on. On Wednesday after I attempted to make my appointments, I made the comment to him that maybe I’m a bit bipolar and he said “oh I don’t think it’s that bad, unless you just hide it well” to which I replied, “oh I hide it REALLY well from you”. He didn’t know what to think about  that! The truth is, I hide a lot of my issues from him but I decided to stop doing that – I need him to understand what’s going on with me and the only way he can do that is if I lay it all out for him. So Sunday evening, I gave him the highlight reel of my issues and tried to explain to him that yeah, it must be hard living with me, but can he imagine what it’s like to actually BE me? He was very understanding and knows how important it is to me that I figure out exactly what the heck is going on. Of course as far as my weight issues, he thinks I just need to eat less and figure out a way to move more through out the day. Bless his little inexperienced heart! If he only knew how NOT simple it is to do that. He’ll get there though, eventually. We spent a lot of time together this weekend and it was really good to just be open with him. I feel confident that he is going to help me as much as he is able, even if it just to support what I’m doing.

So that’s where I am today – feeling better and ready to find some answers. I’ll let you all know when I get my therapy appointment scheduled and where I’ll go from there.

xoxo

 

Update: as soon as I posted this, the counseling place called. I have an appointment on Dec 6th. Big sigh of relief to have it scheduled. 

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9 thoughts on “Thanksgiving weekend update

  1. My little friend- I think we are about the same age and its going on the same with me. What a mess- you don’t want to feel or act this way but you just do. It is beyond your control. Just talking about it does wonders, as does a good cry. I’ve found help with a very low dose antidepressant, as well as getting involved in a project- a lot of my issues become smaller when I’m concentrating on something else, or someone else who is less fortunate. It can’t be solved in a day- and its a minute by minute journey/struggle. Just be patient and nice to yourself, and remember that you can only do ONE thing at a time. When you slow down and give yourself permission to do one thing at a time, I’ve found a bit of relief. Much love and prayers to you!!

  2. Why is it so hard for men to understand us? My hubby also thinks it`s just the matter of eating less and working out more. He can`t help me with my eating rules as they change as often as I`m down or up “the eating hill”. So I asked my husband to do just one thing-to give me time to work out by taking care of our child, to remind me how important this is to me. That`s it. And it means a lot. I understod that working out is my medicine and I have to find time for it.

    I wish the appointment gives you what you actually need. Kisses from Poland

  3. Ahh men. I mean yay Men! and Grrr MEN! rawr. I think women also naturally HAVE more mood swings than men do, and we’re in a society that acts like it wants to listen, but really expects you to shut up and be perfect. That’s hard to deal with, hard to balance. I’m so glad you have your appointments, but beyond them remember to be gentle with yourself.

    *hugs*

  4. I started seeing a therapist (for many reasons) almost 2 years ago. I absolutely love it, not just for any particular issue but to have someone to listen to me no matter what. Like Kyra said, be gentle with yourself, make time for yourself and love yourself! If it’s not something you’re used to doing then it takes time and patience, I’m still learning 2 years later. Keep your head up!

  5. Make sure you know what all your options are with your insurance. Here is why I say that – when I call my insurance there is a separate section for mental health related issues. They are to provide very detailed info on therapists in my area.

    I found my most excellent therapist thru them in 2007 and we found my youngest’s also excellent therapist thru them earlier this year.

    And within that department I am eligible for 8 free sessions with my therapist per year. Since I see her twice a month, that is 4 months of appointments, every year for free.

    Everyone else at my house is eligible for 8 visits per year as long as their therapist is in the system and it is set up in advance (there is also a time frame and all 8 visits have to be complete within that deadline).

    My youngest, who is the one with the cardiac problem, sees a therapist on occasion just to check in and be sure she is okay. So she saw her therapist after her last mayo appt, when both her siblings left for college, when she started high school, etc. This is a preventive course of treatment.

  6. Make yourself a good, prioritized list for both appts in case you get in there and can’t articulate clearly. Some people go in and cry (I think part of that is relief and letting down walls). Some people talk about all the little things until the appt time runs out and then kick themselves that they didn’t bring up what they really wanted to say. I answered a very honest “I don’t know” to everything she asked me, because she asked me things I had buried, or felt were too hopeless to even consider. After I got into the flow of it, I used to email her my list, in advance, so that I couldn’t chicken out or get distracted.

  7. “it must be hard living with me, but can he imagine what it’s like to actually BE me?” — I have thought the same thing. I told him I should really be a hermit. I know deep inside I don’t want to be a hermit (at least year-round), but — I don’t know what comes after “but,” I haven’t figured it out.

    Oh, well.

    (I raise my glass… Cheers to T. Tuesday!)

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