I caved. I weighed myself a few days ago. On a completely unrelated note, guess who gained 4 pounds in the last month or so?

I was having a very low day and I suppose I felt the need to punish myself because I knew the number on the scale would not be a kind one. And I was right. Ugh. Back to the drawing board.

Speaking of low days, I’ve been having  quite a few lately. Remember my last post (2 weeks ago) and how happy and positive and I GOT THIS I sounded? Yeah, well the last few days have been the flip side of that. I feel like the bottom of a dumpster right now and I think most of it is too much sugar and too many hormones (or too few hormones, I have no idea). I got some results back from a health screening I did recently and I was surprised to learn that it sounds like I have mild depression (based on the questions I answered for the screening). The thing is, I don’t feel bad all of the time. I actually only feel bad half the time – usually right before and during my Special Lady Time. Right after my SLT, I feel great. I love working out and I love eating healthy and all is right with the world. Before and during, however, it’s like I’m Madame Bovary over here. Woe is me! I’m overweight and I have nothing to wear! Pity me and my unfortunate situation!! 

Seriously, I’m to the point where I think I either need a) a good hormone-balancing drug, b) professional mental help, or c) a vacation to the tropics. Maybe a combination of all three?I’m not looking forward to Thanksgiving, I’m not looking forward to Christmas shopping, I’m not looking forward to much these days. This has been a pretty busy and trying last few months and I think I have just had it. I need time to rest, but when I do rest I feel lazy and unproductive, which in turn makes me feel guilty and bad about myself. So I begrudgingly make myself do stuff – not fun stuff, mind you, stuff like laundry and cleaning the tile in the shower and grocery shopping.

And this my friends, is why I haven’t been blogging much lately because how many people want to come here and read about my pity party? Zero people, that’s how many.

Who wants to wager that the next time I blog I’ll be all Mary Sunshine? It’s the up and down of my  moods that is killing me – I think it’s also why I have such a hard time being consistent with weight loss. I’m up long enough to get started, then I come crashing back down and undo all of the good I have done. So frustrating!!

Okay, thanks for coming to my pity party today, I’d say it was fun, but I think we all know it wasn’t.

I can’t even think of a good ending for this post.

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Nope, still got nothin’.

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Nada.

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*sigh*