Foiled Again!

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Me (2 days ago): Woooo! I ran a mile and half without stopping!! Woooohooo! Go me, I rock!! On Friday I shall run TWO miles without stopping!! I’m going to tell EVERYONE I KNOW that I’m going to run 2 miles on Friday! *proceeds to tell entire world*

Me (this morning): Okay let’s do this! I’m ready! *Trucks along at a nice pace for first mile*

Digestive System (DS for short): *gurgle*

Me: Uh oh. *Keeps running*

DS: GURGLE!!

Me: No way. You’ve got to be kidding me. Just keep going – you’ve only got 3/4 of a mile to go. 

DS: Something’s happening in here. 

Me: Ignore it and it will go away.

DS: Nope, not gonna happen. I really think you need to do something about this.

Me: Crud. No, I can make it. I can make it. Just keep going. 

DS: HEY! This is not a dress rehearsal – this is the real deal!! 

Me: NO!!! I’m almost at the mile and half mark! I can’t stop now!

DS: We are reaching critical mass in here!!

Me: Shut up!!

DS: Danger Will Robinson, Danger!

Me: No! I can do this – I’m so close! So Close! Just a half mile to go!

DS: WE ARE AT DEFCON 5!!! GO GO GO GO!

Me: ARGH!! CURSE YOU DIGESTIVE SYSTEM!!

I hurriedly hop off the treadmill, clench my way to the bathroom, and after a bit,  there is peace in the valley once again. I don’t know how many runs have been interrupted by my bowels. It’s just ridiculous, is what it is.  I didn’t reach my goal of 2 unstoppable miles, but next time…next time I will guzzle a bottle of Immodium AD before hand. Yes, the whole bottle. Because I can play dirty too. <laughs maniacally while wringing hands>

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10 thoughts on “Foiled Again!

  1. Oh, man, there are just too many crude jokes RUNning through my head right now that I could say about this. I’ll spare you the contents of my brain, though. Funny, Jill!

  2. You have the “runner’s trots” No, seriously, google it! 🙂 It used to happen to me a lot, but not so much anymore. I think it’s the change in eating and such.

    But nice job on the 1.5 miles!

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