Foiled Again!

Me (2 days ago): Woooo! I ran a mile and half without stopping!! Woooohooo! Go me, I rock!! On Friday I shall run TWO miles without stopping!! I’m going to tell EVERYONE I KNOW that I’m going to run 2 miles on Friday! *proceeds to tell entire world*

Me (this morning): Okay let’s do this! I’m ready! *Trucks along at a nice pace for first mile*

Digestive System (DS for short): *gurgle*

Me: Uh oh. *Keeps running*

DS: GURGLE!!

Me: No way. You’ve got to be kidding me. Just keep going – you’ve only got 3/4 of a mile to go. 

DS: Something’s happening in here. 

Me: Ignore it and it will go away.

DS: Nope, not gonna happen. I really think you need to do something about this.

Me: Crud. No, I can make it. I can make it. Just keep going. 

DS: HEY! This is not a dress rehearsal – this is the real deal!! 

Me: NO!!! I’m almost at the mile and half mark! I can’t stop now!

DS: We are reaching critical mass in here!!

Me: Shut up!!

DS: Danger Will Robinson, Danger!

Me: No! I can do this – I’m so close! So Close! Just a half mile to go!

DS: WE ARE AT DEFCON 5!!! GO GO GO GO!

Me: ARGH!! CURSE YOU DIGESTIVE SYSTEM!!

I hurriedly hop off the treadmill, clench my way to the bathroom, and after a bit,  there is peace in the valley once again. I don’t know how many runs have been interrupted by my bowels. It’s just ridiculous, is what it is.  I didn’t reach my goal of 2 unstoppable miles, but next time…next time I will guzzle a bottle of Immodium AD before hand. Yes, the whole bottle. Because I can play dirty too. <laughs maniacally while wringing hands>

  One thought on “Foiled Again!

  1. August 24, 2012 at 9:19 am

    I would never actually drink a whole bottle of Immodium AD because a) constipation is not my friend and b) yuck!

  2. August 24, 2012 at 9:19 am

    Oh, man, there are just too many crude jokes RUNning through my head right now that I could say about this. I’ll spare you the contents of my brain, though. Funny, Jill!

    • August 24, 2012 at 9:49 am

      It’s okay Gina, let it all out. Dump the contents of your brain here. You know you can’t hold it in any longer!! heehee!

  3. debby
    August 24, 2012 at 9:29 am

    That is funny and silly. You know, even “real “racers take poddy breaks.

  4. August 24, 2012 at 12:50 pm

    That is too funny! Bless your heart. You were so close! Good thing you were at the gym and not out somewhere without facilities close by. That would be my luck.

  5. myjourneytofit
    August 24, 2012 at 2:41 pm

    There are just some things you can’t fight when it comes to running!

  6. August 24, 2012 at 6:46 pm

    Exercise does tend to get things moving. Much worse when you are outside trying to find a public toilet!

  7. August 24, 2012 at 7:42 pm

    You have the “runner’s trots” No, seriously, google it! 🙂 It used to happen to me a lot, but not so much anymore. I think it’s the change in eating and such.

    But nice job on the 1.5 miles!

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