Me (2 days ago): Woooo! I ran a mile and half without stopping!! Woooohooo! Go me, I rock!! On Friday I shall run TWO miles without stopping!! I’m going to tell EVERYONE I KNOW that I’m going to run 2 miles on Friday! *proceeds to tell entire world*
Me (this morning): Okay let’s do this! I’m ready! *Trucks along at a nice pace for first mile*
Digestive System (DS for short): *gurgle*
Me: Uh oh. *Keeps running*
Me: No way. You’ve got to be kidding me. Just keep going – you’ve only got 3/4 of a mile to go.
DS: Something’s happening in here.
Me: Ignore it and it will go away.
DS: Nope, not gonna happen. I really think you need to do something about this.
Me: Crud. No, I can make it. I can make it. Just keep going.
DS: HEY! This is not a dress rehearsal – this is the real deal!!
Me: NO!!! I’m almost at the mile and half mark! I can’t stop now!
DS: We are reaching critical mass in here!!
Me: Shut up!!
DS: Danger Will Robinson, Danger!
Me: No! I can do this – I’m so close! So Close! Just a half mile to go!
DS: WE ARE AT DEFCON 5!!! GO GO GO GO!
Me: ARGH!! CURSE YOU DIGESTIVE SYSTEM!!
I hurriedly hop off the treadmill, clench my way to the bathroom, and after a bit, there is peace in the valley once again. I don’t know how many runs have been interrupted by my bowels. It’s just ridiculous, is what it is. I didn’t reach my goal of 2 unstoppable miles, but next time…next time I will guzzle a bottle of Immodium AD before hand. Yes, the whole bottle. Because I can play dirty too. <laughs maniacally while wringing hands>