I was a week late for my Lady Time. I am never late. Ever.

My tata’s are tender even though Lady Time ended a week ago.

I’m weepy as sh*t.

I’ve got a crazy mad Peeps craving.

My husband didn’t kiss me good night one night and so naturally I think he’s having an affair with a 28 year old Victoria’s Secret model.

I ate 5 Pillsbury cinnamon rolls yesterday.

My middle is expanding like Homer Simpson’s beer belly.

I’ve got a crazy mad chocolate bunny craving. 

I have been alternately sad/mad for many, many days now.

I’m 41. I think I’m a little young, but eh, whatever. 

And before you even say it, no I’m not pregnant. The husband got snipped after #3 was born (and yes, I know that sometimes it grows back or whatever. Shut up). So that leaves menopause or crazy. Flip a coin because really, it could be either one at this point.