We are so close to being finished with the Great Remodel of 2012.  I now have my kitchen back, and hopefully today we can move the washer and dryer out of the dining area and back into the laundry room! Hooray!!

I intended to take a pic, but ran out of time this morning (plus I forgot), but trust me when I say never has a floor been more glorious!! Oh it’s beautiful – not a shred of linoleum  in sight!!

The shower is still a little ways from being finished, but let me tell you, it’s going to be awesome when it’s completed. We decided to make a few little changes to the bathroom to accomodate the new shower (glass door, smaller cabinets) so that will delay the completion a little bit, but shouldn’t be too lengthy. I’m so excited I could squee! SQUEEEEE!!!!! 

So let’s talk about the thing I’ve NOT talked about…food. Oh good gravy you would think all the food in the world was going to disappear at the end of the month with the way I’ve been eating lately. It hasn’t been pretty. It’s almost like I’m on a quest to see just how much food I can stuff in my pie-hole in a day.  I’ve been tracking my calories on Calorie Count, and my word! Each day is more ridiculous than the one before.

I know what I need to do. But when that Cheeto craving hits, it’s like fighting a bear to try and overcome it. And of course the salty craving has to be balanced out by something sweet right? So then there I am rummaging through the pantry looking for cookies or anything that is 100% sugar. And it goes on like this every single day. I start out okay, but by the afternoon and when I get home it’s all over. I dive into the first salty-sweet-fat treat I can find. And then I go looking for its friends.

I’ve been here before. I’m no stranger to this feeling. One does not get all the way up to 185 pounds without a little practice, you know. I just have to get my head in the right place – do a little planning, do a little grocery shopping, do a little exercising. But man, it does not feel good to be in the middle of the hurricane right now. It does not feel good to know that I am abusing my body – the words “metabolic syndrome” kept running through my head last night as I was noshing. I know it’s not good, what I’m doing, but it’s so hard to stop the train once it gets going.

Maybe once all the remodeling gets finished, I’ll be in a better place mentally. But what about next time? What happens next time there’s a semi-stressful situation that I have to deal with?   Am I always going to turn to food to soothe the raw edges?

Anyway, I just felt the need to confess my dietary sins and let you all know that I am not avoiding the food issue. Well okay, I AM avoiding it, but I’m trying not to is what I’m saying. Without trying to sound melodramatic, I will probably always be fighting this battle. I just want to fight it at a lower weight.