This has nothing to do with weight loss or fitness, however it is all about preserving my mental health, so there ya go.
I have 3 kids – my older two kids (ages 14 & 11) are funny, easy going, and very well behaved (most of the time). I get a lot of compliments on how good my kids are.
And there’s Mallory…she’s 6 years old and she’s a diva. First off, let me say that she is like my little shadow. She loves to be with her mama and she is so free with a hug and a kiss and an “I love you”. She’s very very lovable and snuggly. She can be very bright and bubbly and funny – she’s really hilarious sometimes.
But then there are other times that she absolutely drives me up a freaking wall. She loves to argue and negotiate. She loves to procrastinate. She’s very good at distracting me from my original request so that 10 minutes later we are no where near what I had originally asked her to do. When she doesn’t get her way, she doesn’t throw a screaming hissy fit…I could handle that. No, she pouts and sulks and shuts down in such a dramatic fashion and it IRRITATES THE HECK OUT OF ME. I CANNOT DEAL WITH WHINING!! Temper tantrums never bothered me, but the whining thing? Like fingernails on a chalkboard.
Our biggest issues are food and clothes. She hardly ever wants to eat breakfast and I just recently found out that she hardly touches her lunch at lunch time (I pack her lunch every day because she’s so picky she won’t eat in the school cafeteria), but she’ll eat her lunch on the way home from school on the bus. So she’s going almost the whole day eating very little. At dinner time, she NEVER wants to eat what the rest of us are eating unless it’s pizza, and even then if the cheese isn’t just right, she won’t eat that. When I do MAKE her eat, she always wants to negotiate how many bites she has to take (can I take 5 bites of chicken and 4 bites of potatoes?) and even then it’s a struggle to get her to do it. She’s pretty good about eating fruit, but she hardly ever touches her vegetables and I seriously worry about her nutrition.
She’s very picky about the clothes she wears. If it doesn’t “feel good” then she takes if off while she does this whiney half-cry, shutting-down thing that is probably the most irritating thing on earth to me. Whenever she does this it send my blood pressure skyrocketing. She has a handful of outfits that she wants to wear all the time. What drives me crazy is that she has lots of cute clothes that SHE PICKED OUT, but now she won’t wear them. She won’t even try them on to see how they feel unless I FORCE her to put them on.
She won’t try new things. Even if it looks like something fun, it takes her FOREVER to warm up to the idea. She pouts about it until I decide to take it away or leave…and then she decides she wants to try it. Even if it’s something for her own good, and I tell her she HAS to do it, she still fights me on it.
I think what irritates me the most is that she doesn’t trust me, or she won’t take my word for it that something is going to be good and beneficial to her. It all has to be on HER terms.
Guys, I don’t know how to effectively deal with her. I keep thinking that she’ll grow out of this behavior, but I think it’s just getting worse. I don’t think she’s this way at school – her teachers have never said anything but good things about her – how sweet she is. And I will freely admit that some days, I’m just too tired to fight. I get so tired of butting heads with her on EVERYTHING. I’m sure there are things I could be doing differently to help minimize this behavior, but I don’t know what they are.
I need advice from those of you who have been-there-done-that. What can I do to save my sanity and prevent my daughter from becoming Queen Diva? Is it too early to enroll her in law school? Because she’ll make an excellent attorney some day.