Why I need a new job

Background story – my boss is very nearly computer illiterate. (He’s actually very nearly regular illiterate too, but that’s a post for another day.) Since I’m going on vacation next week, he has to learn how to process work orders because it has to be done every day. I’ve been trying to teach him how to do it for the last few days. It is not difficult – it is literally the same twenty steps for each work order. All one has to do is follow the steps.

Him:  “Hey Jill can you come here for a sec?”

Me: *stifling annoyed sigh* “Sure!”

Him:  “When I clicked on the box like ya told me, this little message came up.”

Me: “Um, that’s the log in screen.”

Him: *blank stare*

Me: “You have to log in first.”

Him: “I did that.”

Me: “No, you opened the program. This is where you log in.”

Him: *blank stare* “Oh. Okay.” *types in name and clicks log in button”*

Me: “You have to put in your password.”

Him: “Oh goddangit!” (this is his favorite word. He says 60 times a day)

Him: *enters name and password*

Me: “Okay, NOW you are ready to enter the sales doc number.”

Him: “Okay.” *clicks on box and enters sales doc number and hesitates*

Me: “Okay, now enter.”

Him: *moving cursor around the screen* “Where’s “enter”?”

Me: *stifling urge to scream* “Hit “enter” on your keyboard. Or click the green checkmark at the top of the screen.”

Him: “This green check mark?”

Me: “No, that’s a green circle with a white check mark. Click THIS green check mark.”

Him: “Oh.” *clicks green checkmark* “Okay, thanks.”

Me: *leave his office, sit back down at my desk* 

four seconds later…

Him: “Hey Jill, I got another question.”

Me: *run screaming from my office never to be seen again*

Seriously folks, this is what I deal with on a daily basis. I try very hard to be patient with him, but sometimes even I think he can’t be this dumb. Alas, I fear ’tis true.

6 thoughts on “Why I need a new job

  1. OmGosh, Jill. How does someone like that get to be a “boss?” And its not like he’s 85 years old and has an excuse or anything, right?

    Well, I guess there’s one good thing about him being computer illiterate. He’ll never see this post…

    1. Hahaha!!! You kill me. No, he probably won’t ever see this post. I doubt he’s ever even heard the word “blog”.

      The thing is, he’s only 45, and he’s been working with a computer for 5 years now but he’s too afraid to play around on it and learn how to really work with it. I think he just likes playing dumb so someone else can solve all his problems for him. As for how he got to be the boss…I’m still scratching my head on that one.

  2. Not sure if this would help or not, but if you can take a screen shot of each step of the process, print it out, and then label it (“click this green arrow” with a line), it might help him.

    I’ve dealt with people sort of like him before, and made sure I had a step by step image of the process, and left it for them, and I think it helped a little!

    1. Actually, I did that without the screen shot. I typed up a step by step guide on exactly what he needed to do. I think though, that you’re right, I should have included screen shots – he needs all the visual cues I can give him. I’ll remember that for next time. Thanks!

  3. Just discovered your blog, because you won some fancy “best weight loss blog” award on some other blog. You are hilarious and this post about your boss made me laugh hysterically. You are so funny and I love your writing style and I hope you never give up blogging! All of us on this weight loss journey need to laugh and I’m glad I found your blog!

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