Background story – my boss is very nearly computer illiterate. (He’s actually very nearly regular illiterate too, but that’s a post for another day.) Since I’m going on vacation next week, he has to learn how to process work orders because it has to be done every day. I’ve been trying to teach him how to do it for the last few days. It is not difficult – it is literally the same twenty steps for each work order. All one has to do is follow the steps.

Him:  “Hey Jill can you come here for a sec?”

Me: *stifling annoyed sigh* “Sure!”

Him:  “When I clicked on the box like ya told me, this little message came up.”

Me: “Um, that’s the log in screen.”

Him: *blank stare*

Me: “You have to log in first.”

Him: “I did that.”

Me: “No, you opened the program. This is where you log in.”

Him: *blank stare* “Oh. Okay.” *types in name and clicks log in button”*

Me: “You have to put in your password.”

Him: “Oh goddangit!” (this is his favorite word. He says 60 times a day)

Him: *enters name and password*

Me: “Okay, NOW you are ready to enter the sales doc number.”

Him: “Okay.” *clicks on box and enters sales doc number and hesitates*

Me: “Okay, now enter.”

Him: *moving cursor around the screen* “Where’s “enter”?”

Me: *stifling urge to scream* “Hit “enter” on your keyboard. Or click the green checkmark at the top of the screen.”

Him: “This green check mark?”

Me: “No, that’s a green circle with a white check mark. Click THIS green check mark.”

Him: “Oh.” *clicks green checkmark* “Okay, thanks.”

Me: *leave his office, sit back down at my desk* 

four seconds later…

Him: “Hey Jill, I got another question.”

Me: *run screaming from my office never to be seen again*

Seriously folks, this is what I deal with on a daily basis. I try very hard to be patient with him, but sometimes even I think he can’t be this dumb. Alas, I fear ’tis true.