I’ve done it all. I’ve done Weight Watchers, Weigh Down Workshop, Body for Life, LA Weightloss and diet pills. I’ve hopped around the living room like a maniac to Denise Austin, Jillian Michaels, and Kathy Smith. I’ve read books about nutrition, body image, intuitive eating, and exercising. I know basically everything you could need to know about losing weight, yet all this knowledge isn’t doing me a lick of good.

I’ll admit, being the eternal optimist, I still keep hoping I’ll come across that book, that program, that blog…something that will be so special that it will propel me off the couch and into the land of health and fitness. But alas, the realist in me knows better. I know that the only thing that will get me off the couch…

Well, let’s be honest here. I don’t know what’s going to get me off the couch. I’ve run out of ideas and motivation. The truth is, I’ve been relaxing a lot lately and it’s been wonderful. After dinner in the evenings, I read a book or watch TV with my husband, or play a game with the kiddos. Usually the thought goes through my head “you know you could be working out right now” but I manage to push that thought aside when it’s my turn to draw a Candyland card. Here’s the thing: I’m enjoying this down time and I don’t want to change it. Yes, yes I know all about the benefits of exercise, but what about the benefits of just BEING? Just going with the flow and not worrying whether or not I get my 30 minutes in? Isn’t there something to be said for that?

You want to know something crazy? I haven’t been bingeing like mad during this downtime, either. I eat what I want, but really haven’t overeaten in some time now. I’ve even lost a couple of pounds and I can cinch my belt up one notch tighter, so I must be doing something right, right?

I have a sneaking suspicion that once the weather warms up again, I’ll be ready to tackle my weight head on and start something new. Or maybe I won’t. I don’t know. I do know that I am still so tired of the weight loss war, that for right now I have surrendered the battle and like a petulant child, have refused to play. No, I don’t like being 180 pounds, but I know that it will come off in time, so for the next few weeks I’m just going to enjoy the holiday season and do as much relaxing and hunkering-down as I can until it warms up again.

So I guess there’s nothing left for me to do except keep doing the nothing I’ve been doing. It seems to be working – I’m fairly happy today so why wreck a good thing?


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