The enemy within

whisper @ elvismas
Image by macwagen via Flickr

So last night I’m sitting on the couch after dinner and thinking “this would be a good time for a work out”. But instead of getting up, I just sat there.  I kept thinking that if I just did 20 minutes, I could quit and call it good. But I just sat there.  I already had a t-shirt and track pants on, so all I had to do was put my kicks on and go to the garage and do a quick 20 on the elliptical… yet the sitting continued.

Then I began to wonder why I was just sitting there and why didn’t I want to get up go fit in a quick workout.  I got very quiet and still and started listening to my thoughts. And that’s when I heard it: a very small, very subversive, almost inaudible voice way back in the dark recesses of my brain. It was whispering “you need to work out because you are a disgusting fatty. You have GOT to burn some of that fat off because, girl, you are outta control. You HAVE to do something about this now, before it really gets out of hand. You don’t deserve to eat – you need to be working out an hour every day to get your uncontrollable self under control, Fatty.”

Let me tell you, I was as surprised as you are to hear that voice. I thought I had this body image thing pretty well knocked out. Yes I know I need to lose some weight, but “Fatty”? Really?  Gaining this weight back hasn’t made me happy, but I still think I got it going on, ya know? I guess there is some part of me that is REALLY upset about the weight gain and thinks the only way to motivate me is to belittle me.

Well, I’ve got news for you “Fatty-Voice”, I don’t do so well with the beat-down. That kind of talk? Makes want to dig in my heels and not do a damn thing (hence the couch-sitting).

I do however, respond very well to kindness and compassion. If you flatter me and tell me that I am super-awesome? I’d probably do 45 minutes on the elliptical for you just to prove you right.  I always kind of thought that affirmations, mantras, and chanting were a little too “woowoo” for me, but I think it’s time to pull out the big guns and tell FattyVoice to shut the hell up. I’m not putting up with that sh*t.

Here’s my ammo:

Working out 3x per week for 20-30 minutes is perfectly fine for right now. You can always add in more time later if you want. You don’t have to do anymore than that.

No need for restricting your food – just eat a little bit less today than you did yesterday. Try to throw in some veggies a few times a day too if you think about it.

You are super-awesome. Own it.

Anything else I should add to that?



7 thoughts on “The enemy within

  1. Or you could be like ME and kill yourself over a measly 5-10 lbs…
    not touch carbs for a month just to prove your husband wrong (or right)…

    I think your plan sounds PERFECT. and I love that you KNOW you still got it going on!!!

    I NEVER feel that way!

    good for you..GO ROCK IT LADY

  2. You are SUPER AWESOME and look even more beautiful after you get off that elliptical all hot and sweaty. I’m going to do 60 minutes on it tomorrow … join me?

  3. Own it! YES!

    I still hear that horrible Voice sometimes, and it really throws me off-guard. Like you, I always think to myself, “what??? I thought I kicked that thought in the butt a long time ago!” But I just have to keep kicking it, over and over again.

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