It’s not the end of the world

So, since this time last year, I’ve gained 15 pounds.  Now the normal response to this news is usually:




My life is over!!!!

But guess what?  My life isn’t over. In fact it’s pretty much the same as it was last year.

I think I kind of needed to gain this weight back because I lost it in all the wrong ways for all the wrong reasons last time.  I’m shifting my priorities and trying to do it differently this time, but you know what? Losing weight is not the end-all-be-all. And gaining weight is not the end of the world.

I had dinner the other night with a friend of mine that I have known since I was 15. In high school we were both super skinny (although we didn’t think so at the time – how stupid) and since then, we’ve both gotten married and had kids and lived life.  She has gained some weight. And she is still just as funny, smart, sarcastic, and sexy as ever. And I am just as funny, smart, sarcastic, and sexy (when I need to be) as ever.


Yes, I think that losing weight can increase your confidence, but I don’t think you have to lose weight to BE confident. Charlotte has a post in which she asks “where do you get your confidence?”.  And here’s my comment, which kind of surprised me after I wrote it, :

My confidence comes from knowing that I can rock my husband’s world in bed no matter how much I weigh. I also love my hair. And I wear glasses that make me look smarter which makes me FEEL smarter. Having a decent wardrobe gives me confidence, getting a pedicure makes me feel better, and being able to laugh at my own jokes is a big ego booster!! And if I’m being totally honest, knowing that I’m not as insecure and wishy washy as my mother makes me more confident than anything. I’m not an ego-maniac by any stretch of the imagination, but I’ve got enough confidence that gaining 15 pounds hasn’t made me go into shock – it’s just given me an excuse to buy cute new clothes!! (Long time lurker, very seldom commenter here – just wanted to add my .02!!)

Part of this came from a conversation that my friend and I had at dinner.  We were talking about married sex, and we concluded that our husbands are not so much concerned about how we look as they are with how ENTHUSIASTIC we are about it (“it” being sex).  And honestly when I gain weight, a very large portion of it goes straight to my chest, which thrills my husband to no end.

Okay enough with the TMI.

I just really want to put it out there that being confident is what counts. Not the number on the scale or the size of your clothes.  There is nothing wrong with you if you have gained weight. It’s just a part of life – the ebb and flow, if you will. I’m not freaked out by these 15 pounds because I realize that I will lose it at some point, and even if I don’t I’m still a worthy human being, loved by God and my family and friends no matter what.

You gotta work with what you got, baby. And trust me, you’ve got a lot!  😉

9 thoughts on “It’s not the end of the world

  1. AMEN! I think too many woman (me included) have their self confidence tied into their weight and body image. We need to learn that they don’t need to go hand in hand. We are the same person no matter what the scale says, right? Sometimes I find it hard to see my beauty through all the fat but I know it’s in there somewhere, I just need to let it out.

    Have a great weekend!

  2. I love this post!! You totally made my whole day with your comment. I love your outlook – it’s so positive and yet realistic! My husband is going to like your comment too (although he doesn’t know it yet, hee!) Thank you Jill!

  3. “I just really want to put it out there that being confident is what counts.” — You are so right. I’m realizing how my confidence has diminished. I stopped buying new clothes because I just know I’m going to lose the weight and don’t want to waste money (eyes rolling BIG time). Over time, I stopped paying attention to other features like fixing up my hair and makeup. I almost have a why-bother attitude. I mostly just don’t want to look in the mirror and be reminded.

    I’m ashamed to say those things. Luckily I’m seeing it now and am trying to snap out of it. I hope to get enough confidence back to rock DH’s world, again. Right now, I’m kind of afraid of breaking him.

    1. Gina – you are totally worth the effort!! And I promise…I PROMISE that you are not going to break him – you are going to LIGHT HIS FIRE!!! Put on some lip gloss, your best pout, and go!!! 😉

  4. omg. love the post (just linked in from the diet-naked-blog)..finally. someone else who doesn’t have a HUGE amount of weight to lose (just those niggling ten or twenty, thirty? pounds)..and yes, recently I put on some weight (well, uh, twenty pounds two years ago) and was mortified and didn’t want to buy clothes, but broke down and went out to our super-duper (no kidding) Good Will and bought a few beautiful items (tommy hilfiger-new! and calvin klein jeans and banana republic etc)..sometimes, just a few really good items (with accessories) can make you feel wonderful! and yes: Confidence (at any weight) is key…(total price of items? 20.00).

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