The Pear, she is my first born after all…

I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t stay away.  I miss the Ol’ Pear and dissecting my weight-loss life, so here I am, again, starting over, again. Just like Laura.

So here’s the deal…after several months of NOT thinking about weight loss, I’ve had some time to sort through and rethink my plan of action and I’ve decided to wipe the slate clean and start fresh.  I’m going back to school.  I am in kindergarten in the Eternal School of Weight Loss…someone pass me a crayon.

And you know, it’s not even so much about weight loss as it is about controlling my overeating.  That to me is more painful than not being able to fit into my jeans anymore. I hate the way I feel after I eat too much. I hate the way I feel when I overeat junk food. I hate the way my energy plummets after a bowl of ice cream. I hate that my thinking gets cloudy and I forget simple things. These are the things I want to change, not necessarily the number on the scale, but I know that changing the former will result in a change in the latter.

In my previous attempts, I got a New!Food! Plan! And I went into it, guns blazing (for a few weeks anyway), and then I fizzled out. The proverbial crash and burn, if you will. I’ve done that so many times I should have a stripe to wear on my sleeve for each attempt, like a sergeant.  Anyway, since now I know what doesn’t work, I’m going to try and do things differently – step by step, leading with the head and heart, slow and steady as she goes.  Following in the footsteps of Pubsgal, by doing the opposite of what I tried to do in the past.  In the past, I tried to follow points, or count calories, or abide by food lists – this time around I’m not so much focusing on how much I eat, right now I’m focusing on phasing out the junk food and switching it out for healthier fare.  Instead of forcing myself to do boring cardio routines 5 days per week, I’m starting slow with one yoga class. At the end of the month I plan to add a Zumba class to the mix, and when the weather decides it’s tired of being 105* every damn day, I’m going to start running again. Adding things in slowly, instead of cannon-balling right into the middle of a Fitness! Plan! – that’s my goal.

One thing I’m working on right now is a course over at First Ourselves called Heal Overeating: Untangled.  It’s a 12 week course and I’m on week 2 right now. So far I love it, but I’ve always identified with Karly (the author) so I’m not surprised that I’m getting a lot out of this course.  I have also read Eating Less, which is a fabulous book about well…eating less.  These two books are brain food for me – dealing with the mental and emotional aspects of weight loss – which is something I really need right now.  I highly recommend both resources.

As far as food goes, I’m trying to not restrict or deprive myself of any foods, but I’m not having a free-for-all binge every day either. I’ve just noticed recently how certain foods can bring me up or send me crashing into a carb coma. I know Miz talks a lot about “food as fuel” – using food as the fuel to keep her engine going. For me, though, I like to think of it as “food as energy” – Miz’s engine is already revved up and going – she just needs the fuel to keep going. My engine has a cold dead battery and needs food that will jumpstart the engine and get it running!  I have noticed that when I eat a lot of fruit and less junk (duh) I have a lot of energy the next day. When I eat pizza and ice cream, I am super sluggish the next day. So whatever I eat today will directly affect how I feel tomorrow, but I don’t always remember that when I’m staring down a slice of Key Lime Pie or when the extended family wants to get together for a Saturday night feast that runs a close second to Thanksgiving. And during the day, I eat really well –it’s those hours between 5 and 8pm that I feel like I have to fill up with food, and I’m not talking strawberries and cantaloupe. I’m working on this – it’s my stuck-point:  the point where I feel like I am really “stuck” in my weight loss attempts.

One thing that has helped me is in Karly’s course, where she talks about the four seasons of growth:

Summer – the season where things are growing like crazy. You are active and growing and doing and learning and it’s All Good All the Time!

Fall – the harvest. You are reaping the benefits of all that activity and growing. It might be smaller pants, lowered cholesterol, more compliments from friends and family, more muscle definition. This is the time when you see your hard work come to fruition.

Winter – a time of rest. Maybe you have been going hard at your attempts for a couple of years now and you just want to scale back for awhile and marinate in everything you’ve learned. You aren’t actively trying to lose or anything. You’re just tired and you need to rest.  Being in winter doesn’t mean you have given up, it’s just a time of reflection and hibernation.

Spring – this is the time of growth where you might have new ideas or new questions you want to explore. You are thinking about taking new directions; you’re planning; you’re excited about your future growth. You are ready to plant some new seeds!

I love the idea of this.  I think for me, I just came out of my winter phase and am heading into spring. I think I needed to take a break for awhile, and since I did, I’m ready to start exploring. I’m ready to try new things and I like the possibility of doing things differently.  Spring is a good place to be.   🙂

Wowza. This has turned into a longer post than I intended!  I guess I still have a lot to say about health and weight loss, so I’ll continue to blog here and when I have something that’s not weight related, I’ll blog over at Unfolded Laundry.  It’s two Jill’s for the price of one – woohooo!!

Can you identify with the Seasons of Growth? Which season do you think you are in right now?

13 thoughts on “The Pear, she is my first born after all…

  1. There is definitely something in our overeating that is tied to something other than hunger or physical need. I spend a lot of time grappling with that question because I find myself stumbling time after time when I know exactly what I should be doing (and why). Why are we hard-wired to crave food that does our brain and body no good? What makes us eat when hunger can’t possibly be the driving force? We may not have the answers, but recognizing the questions is a good first step…

  2. i’m glad you’re back! have you read “women, food, and God” by geneen roth? it has helped me tremendously with compulsive eating. but that may just be me : )

  3. I worked out all winter to try to keep losing weight or at least hold my place. I put on 4 and kept it there so I guess I didn’t do too badly. Then I just needed a break, so I took a couple months off. Put two pounds back on. Now I”m rested and revved up and working my butt off (hopefully literally) and the weight is coming back down again. I think I just got tired of it all. But I’m back now, so I’m in summer mode after a long winter and a brief spring.

    Good luck to you.

  4. WOO HOO! Sassy! Pear! Le Sassy Pear! We all love her.

    About the hours between 5 and 8p. I think we’ve talked about this before but I can’t remember. Do you think that happens because you actually haven’t eaten enough during the day? I tend to eat very heavy before lunch and then lunch is pretty hefty too. So by the time dinner comes it is pretty light. But I still want to have ‘dessert’ after dinner. I have to save it until right before bedtime or I will keep eating. So I know its not JUST having enough to eat, there’s some psychological component too. Do you like walnuts? I eat a LOT of them for evening snacks when I can’t control myself.

    I think I am in winter now. Still exercising a LOT and eating really healthy foods. But just a bit weary with it all. Don’t want to think for a while.

    1. I think we have talked about this before, but I don’t think it’s because I don’t eat enough during the day. I’ve been eating a lot more for lunch and in the afternoon, but I still have the same “need” to eat in those hours. I think it’s psychological instead of physiological.

  5. Welcome back!

    I find that there’s an insulin resistant thing that makes me munchy and snacky. I am 20 pounds down for one year and counting (though not all the way down, alack) and I owe it to weight training and cheat days.

  6. It’s way late here in the way-out West, but just wanted to say that I’m blushing like mad out here. 🙂

    It sounds like you’ve got a gentle, sensible plan of action. Unless you’re staring down a ginormous health crisis, why not take it gradually?

    5-8 p.m. seems to be the crazy time of day for me, too. It’s the whole transition between work and home, dinnertime, homework time during the school year, and (having been at work all day), everyone is vying for attention. Summer has been a little easier, mainly because I don’t come home to over-wrought kids & husband and the homework death march.

    And you know, the four seasons of growth makes a lot of sense! Now that I’ve been around the blogosphere a couple of years, I see it play out exactly like that, and often in sync with the seasons that are happening. Now I’ve got another author to check out….

  7. I’m definitely in the Summer. Since the beginning of June, I’ve lost 32 pounds and I have to tell you, this is the easiest weight loss that I’ve ever had. Like you, I am trying to keep it simple. I don’t deprive myself. I don’t follow a strict diet. I move more and eat less. I eat real foods and only eat until no longer hungry. It’s amazing how easy weight loss is when you just stop obsessing over food.

    So yes, I totally get your post and am so glad I stumbled upon it!

  8. I feel like I’m in a Montana Summer where things are growing just fine then there’s an unexpected heavy snow fall that freezes and kills all that I’ve cultivated. Then, if anything is remaining, an infestation of some sort wipes it out.

    That’s a downer. Sorry. I hoping to find some more seeds. Or maybe some magic beans.

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