High expectations

Hey y’all.  I hope you are all enjoying your Memorial Day Weekend.

Mine is sucking the chrome off a Harley.

I’m not doing well today. I feel really mental. This whole weekend has not been so great and it doesn’t look to improve any.

If you don’t want to hear me whine, you may leave now and further enjoy your weekend. If you stay, be warned: The Crazy is taking over BIG TIME.

I put such high expections on weekends – what am I going to accomplish? What needs to be done? How can I cram a week’s worth of activities into a couple of days? This is how I feel every single weekend. It’s getting so that I can’t really enjoy my weekends if I dont’ feel like I accomplished something spectacular.

Saturday was okay I guess – I was super productive, but had time for a really good nap too.

Yesterday was awful.

First the backstory:  every year we have a family reunion at my parents’ house and every year my parents try to kill themselves by doing way too much. Every year they cook way too much food and being of the good German stock that they are, they refuse help from everyone.  Well, last year they almost overdid it – seriously – and all I heard for months after that was “we aren’t doing this again. We are too old to do all this. We won’t be having it here again, someone else can do it next year”.  Well, no one else was suggesting anything so last week I had an idea about going to a local park and renting a shelter and letting everyone bring something. We could grill hamburgers and just hang out at the park all day.  I sent an email out to the family and most everyone replied with “I love that idea, that sounds great!” except for, you guessed it, my parents. They were less than enthusiastic about the whole plan. Which brings us to yesterday…

Shawn and I invited them to come over and have a cook out with us.  So they came over and I mentioned the reunion plan and for the next half hour all I heard was why that wouldn’t work, and why that was a bad idea, and why we shouldn’t do that, and…and…and…until I finally just got up from the table and went to the bathroom to have a good cry. I swear, it was like I was stepping on their toes by trying to plan something different!  They wouldn’t even consider that maybe my idea might have some merit, oh hell no!  So the rest of the day had this tense, uncomfortable feeling over it. And I have officially taken myself off the planning committee. They can figure it out on their own. I won’t make the mistake of opening my mouth again.

So to say that I am still smarting is an understatement.  I’m pissed. My feelings are hurt, and what really bugs me is that I felt like I wasn’t heard. But I’m done with it. I tried and I failed.

Moving on to today, since it’s an extra day off I feel like I need to make this the BEST. DAY. EVER!  Except I don’t know what I want to do.  I can work on some sewing projects, or I can clean up my patio and make it a nice place to visit, or I can work on decorating my bedroom (a project that I started a year ago and still have not finished), or I can take the kids and go shopping for summer clothes, or I can do nothing and read a book, or I can take the kids to the park. It’s already 11:30 and I am paralyzed by the thought of making the wrong choice for today.  Seriously y’all – I’m feeling a little crazy. If I hadn’t just had my Lady Time last week, I’d think I was pmsing or something because this is exactly what it feels like.  Oh, and just to add to the crazy, I just binged on pasta salad, 3 brownies, and piece of french toast.  Now I feel like crap. I feel like crazy crap. Great.

Aren’t you glad you stopped by here today?

So now I don’t know what to do. I think I need to go for a run, but it’s almost 90 degrees, so I may try to do that later in the day when it cools off. In the meantime, I’ll…I don’t know what I’ll do.  Hit “publish” and go from there.

This whole post is incoherent and random and weird. Which is exactly how I’m feeling.

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10 thoughts on “High expectations

  1. Breaaaathe… any choice will be good, right? You can’t do all of it, but any one of those things would be lovely. I vote take the kids to the park and read a book. How about that?

    Sounds like your folks, like many older people, just don’t like change. I’m guessing you could suggest having it catered for free by Martha Stewart and they would have a problem with it. It would be nice if you could tell them how you feel and if they could hear it without being threatened. Good luck with that 🙂

    Hope your day turns out great.

  2. 😦 I am sorry you are having a bad weekend – never ever fun. Hope it turned around for you and if it didn’t, be kind to yourself. We ALL have days like these …

  3. Jill, I highly suggest you take a “be calm” pill and chill out. Let’s look at the grand scheme in life. Years from now what will really be important? Will you remember the time spent cleaning? Will you remember how the patio looks? You will remember time spent with your kids, especially if they are good times. What will your kids remember? Will they remember Mom all frazzled, or will they remember how Mom played with them and the good times? If you need time to yourself, take it and then move on. Then decide how you want to spend your time. Slow down, you don’t need to be super, you are a wonderful person, give the people around you a chance to enjoy your company.

    BTW, I’ve dealt a lot with parents and you are not going to please them. They like to complain and they definately don’t want solutions. We think we are doing something good for them but deep down they want that poor me, look what I did for you personna. So smile, God loves you and He knows that you tried.

  4. Thank you all. I get so frustrated and just can’t deal sometimes. Coming here and getting it all out does help, and then reading your comments REALLY helps. I don’t know what I would do without you. 🙂

  5. If my mum manages a visit without hurting my feelings, it’s a miracle. I haven’t yet learned how to just shrug it off, but I am getting a bit better at it each time. I hope you are feeling better now.

    I would suggest chocolate (the universal cure for everything) but that is perhaps not the best option for someone trying to lose weight (never stops me self-medicating with it, I’m afraid): so, a cup of tea and an escape into a book?

  6. Oh gad I know how you feel. Its really the thing with your parents hanging over your life and making nothing else right. Don’t know if that makes sense, but I actually have something like that bugging me right now. I just want to forget about it. So escaped for a little while to blogdom. I also want to eat something, anything, everything. But nothing is standing out. Well, I missed my window to comment at the right time because its 10pm in Oklahoma. I hope you really really had a few good moments today!

  7. (((hug))) I’m sorry that your parents are being so pissy about the whole family reunion thing. You’d think they would be relieved that someone was willing to pick up the torch and run with it, while still asking for input from them. Family politics can be so harsh.

    I’m hoping you were able to do something you enjoyed yesterday. I know what you mean about wanting to make a holiday weekend (or any time off, for that matter) the “Best EVER!” I err on the side of overbooking stuff, or over planning, and then getting frustrated if I can’t fit everything in. (Thus the two recipes I wanted to try this weekend went unmade. Oh well.) I really liked Noreen’s advice; the “what will I regret/look back upon fondly when I’m 80” perspective apparently works well in minor situations, too.

  8. Oh, that’s thing with the parents you mentioned in your latest post (I’m moving through your post backwards). My MIL is German (lives in France, now) and has been visiting this past week. Complain, complain, complain. And she think she knows everything. I’m so thankful for my language barrier. My daughter comes over and says, “Mommy, I think Grand-mere and Daddy are fighting.”

    Can you go on with the family reunion that the rest of your family seems to support? Politely invite your parents but do it your way.

    I found it very interesting when you said about your high expectations for your weekend, ” How can I cram a week’s worth of activities into a couple of days? This is how I feel every single weekend.” And then about your parents, “…and every year my parents try to kill themselves by doing way too much.”

    I loved what Noreen and Larkspur said. Very wise.

  9. We have a saying in my family: “If it ‘s not one thing, it’s your mother.” Families really can push buttons, right? Sending good thoughts your way.

    And another family saying: “This too shall pass.”

  10. I haven’t learned the secret for budging stubborn parents either! It only gets worse over the years. I’m sorry you’re struggling with this, too. You’ve said “They have to figure it out on their own.” Keep reminding yourself of that boundary. It truly isn’t up to you to make everyone happy. Your suggestion for the reunion is GREAT, BTW. Don’t let your parents’ negativity make you doubt that.

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