Hey y’all. I hope you are all enjoying your Memorial Day Weekend.
Mine is sucking the chrome off a Harley.
I’m not doing well today. I feel really mental. This whole weekend has not been so great and it doesn’t look to improve any.
If you don’t want to hear me whine, you may leave now and further enjoy your weekend. If you stay, be warned: The Crazy is taking over BIG TIME.
I put such high expections on weekends – what am I going to accomplish? What needs to be done? How can I cram a week’s worth of activities into a couple of days? This is how I feel every single weekend. It’s getting so that I can’t really enjoy my weekends if I dont’ feel like I accomplished something spectacular.
Saturday was okay I guess – I was super productive, but had time for a really good nap too.
Yesterday was awful.
First the backstory: every year we have a family reunion at my parents’ house and every year my parents try to kill themselves by doing way too much. Every year they cook way too much food and being of the good German stock that they are, they refuse help from everyone. Well, last year they almost overdid it – seriously – and all I heard for months after that was “we aren’t doing this again. We are too old to do all this. We won’t be having it here again, someone else can do it next year”. Well, no one else was suggesting anything so last week I had an idea about going to a local park and renting a shelter and letting everyone bring something. We could grill hamburgers and just hang out at the park all day. I sent an email out to the family and most everyone replied with “I love that idea, that sounds great!” except for, you guessed it, my parents. They were less than enthusiastic about the whole plan. Which brings us to yesterday…
Shawn and I invited them to come over and have a cook out with us. So they came over and I mentioned the reunion plan and for the next half hour all I heard was why that wouldn’t work, and why that was a bad idea, and why we shouldn’t do that, and…and…and…until I finally just got up from the table and went to the bathroom to have a good cry. I swear, it was like I was stepping on their toes by trying to plan something different! They wouldn’t even consider that maybe my idea might have some merit, oh hell no! So the rest of the day had this tense, uncomfortable feeling over it. And I have officially taken myself off the planning committee. They can figure it out on their own. I won’t make the mistake of opening my mouth again.
So to say that I am still smarting is an understatement. I’m pissed. My feelings are hurt, and what really bugs me is that I felt like I wasn’t heard. But I’m done with it. I tried and I failed.
Moving on to today, since it’s an extra day off I feel like I need to make this the BEST. DAY. EVER! Except I don’t know what I want to do. I can work on some sewing projects, or I can clean up my patio and make it a nice place to visit, or I can work on decorating my bedroom (a project that I started a year ago and still have not finished), or I can take the kids and go shopping for summer clothes, or I can do nothing and read a book, or I can take the kids to the park. It’s already 11:30 and I am paralyzed by the thought of making the wrong choice for today. Seriously y’all – I’m feeling a little crazy. If I hadn’t just had my Lady Time last week, I’d think I was pmsing or something because this is exactly what it feels like. Oh, and just to add to the crazy, I just binged on pasta salad, 3 brownies, and piece of french toast. Now I feel like crap. I feel like crazy crap. Great.
Aren’t you glad you stopped by here today?
So now I don’t know what to do. I think I need to go for a run, but it’s almost 90 degrees, so I may try to do that later in the day when it cools off. In the meantime, I’ll…I don’t know what I’ll do. Hit “publish” and go from there.
This whole post is incoherent and random and weird. Which is exactly how I’m feeling.