Here’s what I know for sure about my life right now:

  • If someone offers me a donut, I’m going to eat it and not feel bad about it. It’s just a donut, not my self worth.
  • I have 3 kids, one of those being a teenage boy, so there will, for the time being, be a lot of snack foods and treats in my house.  And yes, I will occasionally partake of said snacks/treats.  That’s just how it’s going to be.
  • On those rare occasions when I go out to eat at a restaurant, I’m not going to worry about how many chips or how much bread I consume. When I go out to eat, it is usually for an occasion which means I will be a little less cautious about my calorie intake. I’m there to enjoy the people and the food, not to be anxious about my choices.
  • In the same vein, holidays will be celebrated with food. Birthdays will include birthday cake, Christmas will include cookies, 4th of July will involve potato salad…it just will.
  • My husband is a meat-and-potatoes kind of guy.  He will not eat things like “spinach quiche” or anything with the words “spinach” or “quiche” anywhere in the title.  He eats what he wants, yet he’s pretty much the same size he was when we got married 14 years ago.  I will make our dinners as healthy as I can, but I’m not going to rock his world with foods that he can’t pronounce/has never heard of.
  • Some days take out pizza is the best I can do.  Same goes with Mac N Cheese and Hamburger Helper.  I refuse to feel guilty/like a failure when I serve these things for dinner. Being a mom is hard enough.
  • I am an emotional eater.  I have a lot of work to do, but right now this minute I celebrate/drown every emotion with food. I don’t like it, but again, that’s just how it is right now.

I realize this list sounds a little defensive, but really it’s just a way for me to relieve some of the pressure.  I feel like every meal is an opportunity for perfection and most of the time I am not perfect (shocking, I know).  I think my frustration lately has been because in my head I think I should be eating one way, but in reality it is often the complete opposite of what my ideal is.  I need to realize that situations like the ones above are going to occur and instead of fighting them, I want to just let go and learn to deal with them. Like water off a duck’s back. That’s really what this list is about – facing the truth.

I’m giving myself  a break and permission to be a human woman who lives in the southern region where food is a religion and Paula Deen is its deity.

Don’t get me wrong, I know that eating cookies, and donuts, and Hamburger Helper aren’t going to help me lose these last 15 pounds, so I do realize that I have to make an effort and be mindful of what I put into my mouth 75% of the time.  I think I can handle that.  This morning’s breakfast was a donut and coffee, but lunch is going to be a salad, and my afternoon snack is an apple and peanut butter.  Dinner is probably going to be baked chicken (haven’t really decided yet, but it will be something light).  Balance is a difficult thing for me to achieve, but I think I’m moving in the right direction.