Admit it, Mustangs are cool.

Hey remember yesterday when I said I was cutting out sugar? Let’s all have a good laugh at that one. Ready?


(deep breath in)


The Hindenjill crashes spectacularly.

Oh, wow. I don’t think the Hindenburg crashed as fast as I did yesterday. I got 13 hours into my sugar free path and then I caved to the call of The Chocolate Eggs. And the Key Lime Pie. And a brownie. I seriously white-knuckled it for a few hours and then I just gave it up. So obviously I’m not ready to give up the sweets entirely, which is fine with me, really. I don’t think a couple of pieces of dark chocolate every day are going to kill me (think of all the antioxidants I’ll be getting!) so I’ll just stick with that as my treat for now.

I was thinking last night about my whole issue with counting calories, and I had a thought that kind of startled me. I was pondering why I have such a hard time with it and why I get so frustrated when I’m doing it. I think that when I’m counting calories I get really frustrated because I always seem to go over, and I feel like I can’t stay within my allotted calorie range (that word allotted makes me uncomfortable too – we’ll discuss that in a sec) and that makes me feel like a failure. Usually when I go over, it’s due to poor food choices (Key Lime Pie would be a good example here) and it makes me angry that I choose to eat these things when I KNOW it’s not going to help me get any closer to my goal weight. Seeing my bad choices on paper is like LOOKING IN THE MIRROR AND NOT LIKING WHAT I SEE. I have worked hard to get over my body image issues, so when I see my poor food choices on paper, it’s like going back and beating myself up for having large thighs. I think that’s a completely useless and unnecessary feeling. I also think that knowledge is power, so knowing how many calories I’m consuming in a day could be a really helpful tool, but how do I get over this calorie-image issue? Not sure how to conquer this one.

On a related note, having an “allotted” calorie range makes me feel confined – sort of along the lines of “you’re not the boss of me”. It’s my inner brat, I know, but again, I’m not sure how to shut her up. I imagine it’s how a wild mustang feels being penned up in a corral (yes I just compared myself to a wild mustang – hee!). There’s a stubborn streak in there that needs to be broken because it is, I believe, the reason I sabotage myself over and over again. Geez, you would think that being almost 40 years old, I’d be over all this “I’m acting like a 2 year old” stuff, but I guess I’m not. Gotta love human nature!

I only wish I were this cool.

We are moving our offices at work later this week, so I might be absent for a few days. I think this move is going to be good for me. We are moving out of the plant into a nice little office building, so this means I will no longer have to dress like a construction worker (I wear jeans and boots/tennis shoes every day) and I’ll be able to wear skirts and flip flops if I want! I’m so excited – SQUEEEEE!!!!

Today after work I’m going to do W2D2 of C25k. I think I’m going to go the gym and run on the indoor track because it is super windy out there today and I just don’t have the energy to fight it. I didn’t make time to get all my stuff together last night, so I’ll have to go home and change first, which could be very detrimental to my run. But if I don’t do the run tonight, it will screw up my whole training schedule, so I have to do it. Maybe I’ll send myself a reminder through my phone to GET IT DONE.

Have a good Tuesday everyone! 🙂

14 thoughts on “Admit it, Mustangs are cool.

  1. Hey Jill,
    I have always been fascinated by the Hindenburg so I got a kick out of the pic.

    As far as your daily allotment – ignore it – We probably should remove it all together. I think checklists work a lot better and that’s why I developed the daily checklist, so you wouldn’t have to count those darn calories. I’m open to new ideas, if anyone wants to put in their 2 cents.

    btw, have you ever tried mango key lime pie – it’s to die for.

    Now, that I will be using a webcam, no more bad hair days and PJs for me. Who invented webcams anyway.

  2. Oh Jill, I am so with you on the inner two year old. Until someone tells you you CAN’T do something, you don’t want to. But as soon as that challenge is thrown out there, BOOM it’s the only thing you can think of.

    I love what Diana says, her checklist makes SO much sense! No stupid calories, just focus on all the things you need to eat yet that day. Have fun with the skirts and flip flops! You better put up some new pictures!

  3. Oh, the humanity!

    Thankfully, my nazi dentist pulled my sweet tooth when I was younger. Since then, I’ve always had a take-em-or-leave-em attitude to sweets. However, the Salt Fairy still keeps me on my toes…

  4. Sooooooooooooooooooo know what you mean. I’ve done the sugar dance for EVER and EVER

    it sucks.

    keep at it, you’ll get there. ( i have an inner brat too) love that!

  5. Oh the sugar …. I overdid it on the sweets Easter Sunday. I still feel like a fat little rabbit today. Luckily I don’t have any chocolate in the house.

    Run Mustang RUN ….

  6. I just ate an entire container of Kozy Shack Tapioca pudding while reading your post. Yeah, I know, I’m not “there” yet on my fitness journey. I’ve made wonderful strides, but the binge monster still shows. (One step at a time).

    Counting calories – seems to work for a lot of people but not for me. I drove myself crazy for the same reasons you mentioned. I hope you can find a happy medium for you and your inner-mare.

  7. The girl woke up early, so I enjoyed a few (ahem) chocolates with my coffee and anytime I managed to walk past one of the kiddos’ basket.

    Easter bunny (me) brought me a Peanut butter stuffed choc bunny. I devoured it while kids hunted for eggs.

    I swear, on Monday morning about 10:30 am, I had chocolate hangover. . . horrible headache and sick, sick sick at my stomach . . . I had to grab a 7-up to settle it.

    Thank goodness the next candy od date on the calendar is 10/31/10.

  8. Gina, I saw that! 🙂

    What is your calorie range? Maybe it’s too low? I need to start writing it all down too, mainly to remind myself how many bites of chocolate go down in a day. I don’t count the calories, I’m trying to improve my patterns– eating good stuff at regular intervals, not too many simple carbs. Have you thought about just journaling for a while, and worrying about calories a little later? I think that’s what I need– a journaling challenge! I have so much trouble with just writing it down, even when I’m not trying to restrict much.

  9. Maybe you should of waited till after Easter to start your “Sugar Free” diet.?
    BTW, I wouldnt have been able to do it either. In fact I ate so much crap on Easter I think I gained another 2lbs. ; (

  10. Im horrible with the once I think I AM NOT DOING THIS AT ALL the “this” becoming all I think about.
    I tried it with Mommy Merlot (ok diet coke :)) and then drank about a 6pack a day.

    now that I let myself have it Im down to one 🙂

  11. You sound like you have a good attitude to me. Counting calories certainly drives some people CRAZY. I don’t mind it but I don’t love it. I go back and forth. I haven’t counted for MONTHS but feel like I may need to start again to remind myself about portion sizes. 😉

    I can so RELATE to what you wrote about sugar. I did that for years before I finally just quit. Maybe giving it up cold turkey isn’t the best approach. I do better when I make things off limits. Of course, there are times when that’s all I can think of but I make an effort to distract myself until the obsession passes b/c it always passes. The dark chocolate is a great idea. Sometimes I consider adding that back in but I have the “give myself an inch and I’ll take a mile” habit so for now it’s still off limits.

    BTW I loved that you referred to yourself as a mustang!!! Ha ha!! You are waaaay cooler than any wild mustang!

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