I won’t lie. I’m having a rough time, y’all.  For the last 6 nights my 4 yo has woken up in the middle of the night with a cough. The allergy-drainage cough that just won’t quit. Every night around 2 am, I end up awake for about an hour trying everything to soothe her cough, but last night my son also started coughing, and then lo and behold, to put the icing on the cake, Shawn decided to start snoring.

It was not a good night. And if you’ve been reading me for a while, you know that I do not do well on little sleep.

You know that scene in The Divine Secrets of the YaYa Sisterhood where Ashley Judd’s character just can. not. take. it. another day and she drives to a motel and just s l e e p s. For days.  Honestly, sometimes that’s what I want to do. Just run away and sleep until I cannot sleep anymore. I don’t want to leave my family, but having several days to just sleep would do my soul a world of good.

the part I’m referring to starts at around minute 6

I am slowly coming out of my pity-party, due to a few different (I believe) divinely inspired people.  I have signed up for a 5k in May. Normally I wouldn’t have signed up without attempting some semblance of training first, but this is for a good cause. There is a 19 year old boy in my town who is fighting cancer, and some of his friends have organized a 5k race in which the proceeds will go directly to him to help with the medical bills, which are staggering as you can well imagine. My friend Lynn told me about the race and I decided to sign up and attempt to RUN.  I’m going to start training this weekend with C25k. I hope that focusing on someone’s REAL pain will get me out of my own selfish world.

Another divine intervention came from Karly at First Ourselves.com. Karly is one of those women whose passion in life is teaching other women to value themselves. I started reading her blog a few years ago and now the blog has morphed into a whole website full of information about healing body image issues, overeating issues, and (ta-da) sugar addiction issues.  I hadn’t talked to Karly in a while, but she was on my mind A LOT one day and so I went over to her website to poke around.  Later that day, I check my inbox and whose email was waiting in my inbox? That’s right, Karly’s. I don’t know if she knew that I had been on the site, but to get an email from her was wonderful in a freaky kind of way ( I believe the term she used was “synchronicity”, a word that rolls off the tongue easily and also reminds me of The Police circa early 1980’s).  She has an e-book about sugar addiction that I think I’m going to check out, and actually she has a whole program set up for overcoming sugar addiction if you want to check it out here.  I think I need to seriously explore my relationship with sugar because something’s gotta give. Something in me is off-kilter and I need it fixed, and I have a sneaking suspicion that sugar is playing a big role in my off-kilter-ness.

And another run in with another blogger happened just this morning. Jenn left a comment on my last post and these words from her sparked a bit of an “aha” moment in me. She said

Every time in a place where things are rolling along so “even” I start to worry b/c I know the valley will inevitably come regardless if the mountain appears in the moment to never end. My hope is with time the valleys will be fewer and not as deep.

It was the last sentence that caught me. My all-or-nothing thinking has me believing that if  I’m not UP and EVEN all the time, then  I’m failing miserably. Leveling out the mountains and valleys I think is what I need to work on. I went over the Jenn’s blog and fell in love instantly. The name of her blog is Girl Heroes – how great is that?!?! Go over and check her out.  I think she might be MY new hero (and I don’t mean that in a creepy stalkerish way, I just mean that I think I could learn something from her).  🙂

So that’s where I am right now. Not great, but working on it, and hopefully I’ll get out of this funk when I can sleep in this weekend.  Thanks for putting up with me!  🙂