Challenge of the Day – Day 21

So my last post (not the Day 20 challenge, the other one) was a little harsh. I harshed on myself (1990 called, they want their catch phrase back) and now that I’ve had a little time to think about it, I actually HAVE learned a few things in these past 365 days, and because I loves me some bullet points, I shall put all my thoughts into bullet-point order:

• I eat less. It’s true – I have learned to be satisfied with less food. I rarely eat to the point of being overstuffed anymore (notice I didn’t say “never”).

• I can recognize when I am feeling snacky and when I am truly hungry. A lot of times I can stop myself when I am being snacky and I can analyze what is really going on (usually it has to do with being bored or wanting to postpone some lovely activity like laundry or mopping).

• I know the value of regular exercise, and it has little to do with losing weight. For me, exercise calms my mind, gives me energy, and boosts my self esteem. When I don’t exercise regularly, my mood darkens and I feel zapped (as evidenced by my last post). Sometimes I forget just much it affects me and I slack off, but I’m working on reminding myself of how much my mind and body really does (really do? what is the correct grammar here?) need it.

• I have discovered that what I really love most about the diet pills is more for what it does for my head than what it does for my body. It quiets the “crazy food thoughts”. I don’t think about food ALL. THE. TIME. when I’m on the pills, but I don’t think that taking the pills forever would be a very smart thing either, so I have to figure out a way to quiet those thoughts without chemical stimulation.

I’m sure I’ve learned more, but it’s that last bullet point that is going to be the focus of my challenge for today. Every hour until 4pm today, I am going to take one minute and meditate (after 4pm, I’ll be at home and I don’t know if I’ll be able to get to a quiet spot!). I am going to close my eyes and pray that no one walks into my office to disturb my 60 seconds of stillness. I have been feeling like a lot of thoughts are tumbling around in my brain like clothes in a dryer, and so I need to do something to calm them down. I hope this works – I’ll let you know.

4 thoughts on “Challenge of the Day – Day 21

  1. “does” is right.
    I’m sure I missed it somewhere, but what pill are you on? If you don’t mind me asking. If you do, just tell me to buzz off.
    I’m glad you realized you were just being hard on yourself. Every good thing you do is a step in the right direction.
    That’s not always easy to remember.

    1. I don’t mind talking about the pills at all – I’m on a low dose of phendametrazine, which is the generic for Bontril. I lost 32 pounds a year and a half ago taking them, and it really did help me focus on eating better. I stopped taking them last December and gained about 15 pounds, then started up again in May and lost those 15 and have been holding steady for awhile (except for last week when I gained 6 pounds by eating 47 different types of Christmas candy every day for 5 days). I think mentally I’m in a place where I can continue to lose on my own (read: sans pills) but I just have to get off my duff and DO IT. Is that way more information than you wanted to know? Short answer: Phendametrazine 35mg 2x per day. 🙂

  2. Good for you, Jill. I’m glad you decided to be kinder to yourself. About the exercise. I started this 5 years ago, and it seems like it is just in the last month or so that I am finding that I want to exercise. I know that’s not completely true, but that’s what it seems like. And, I think you have to cut yourself some slack. You work full time and have three kids. I think you’re doing the best you can.

    And please, will you rescue me? I can’t stop looking at dogs on the computer. I either need to stop, or go look at some in person…

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