These fad diets are getting out of hand

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Wanna lose weight fast?  Then listen up, TV viewers! You’ve heard of the Body Bugg right? Well get ready for the Stomach Bug! The Stomach Bug doesn’t count your calories or keep track of what you have burned, no, the Stomach Bug is different! The Stomach Bug is a nasty virus that settles into your digestive system and immediately eliminates any food or liquid that dares to enter your stomach! It’s completely natural and you don’t have to do any formal exercise at all!  It’s easy – hardly any thought at all goes into having the Stomach Bug, so you can lose weight without any effort at all! And it’s inexpensive – only one easy payment of $6.48 for a 12 pack of toilet paper is all you need!  Need proof?  Here is a testimonial from an actual user:

Jill says:  Yes, I lost 4 pounds in one day with The Stomach Bug, and the only side effects were the extremely painful cramping, the blinding headache, and the inability to eat anything for 12 hours even though I was weak and starving from lack of nutrition!!  Thanks Stomach Bug!!

 

So if you’re looking for a quick fix and don’t mind being doubled over in pain for 24 hours, then the Stomach Bug may be just what you’re looking for! Call now and we’ll send you a glass that Jill drank out of so that you too can experience the nastiest of all viruses!!  Call Now!!

 

*****For the naive and gullible, I AM KIDDING WITH THIS!!! I do not recommend this as a way to lose weight!!! It’s disgusting and painful and just not fun at all, so please people, stay healthy and lose weight the right way: move your @ss away from the fridge and go take a walk!!*****

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13 thoughts on “These fad diets are getting out of hand

  1. Juice

    Yuck! So sorry you feel like crap. But way to capture the bright side.

    Feel better soon. And then come down to Baltimore and join me in a Dead singalong. 😉

  2. Ewww. Honestly, I think I’d rather have the torture of GAINING 10 pounds rather than have a stomach bug for 24 hours. I really really dread being sick. I am so sorry that you have felt so terrible.

    But you made me laugh anyway. The toilet paper line was priceless.

  3. I’m thinking of marketing a cellulite reducer. It will be an expensive armband that you must wear while you do squats, leg lifts, yoga, kickboxing, step, zumba, 2+ hours/day, and eat a reasonable diet. Results not guaranteed. What do you think?

  4. Don’t we all wish we could have the stomach flu about 3x a year. The average person gains ten LBS between Haloween and Christmas. I think getting the stomach flu after Christmas sounds good because I have addiction to chocolate!!!

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