Let me be myself

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So I’ve been thinking about my weight loss and my confidence level and why when the former goes down the latter goes up. Is it because I think I’m totally smokin hot? Um, no. Is it because I’m getting all sorts of wolf whistles and positive attention? Again, no, not so much.

I think it’s because I finally start recognizing the woman in the mirror. Let me ‘splain…no there is too much, let me sum up…

Even though I stayed at 163 pounds and above for the last 13 years, I spent the first 25 years of my life at a “normal” weight. When I looked in the mirror, the image was the same (if only a little bit older each time), so after my son was born (and unfortunately he didn’t weigh 45 pounds) I didn’t recognize the woman staring back at me. For the better part of 13 years I haven’t been myself – the self I internally visualize myself to be. I have felt out of sorts for a long time because I just didn’t know who this person was in that bigger body – she was self-conscious and shy, no self-esteem, she was afraid that people didn’t like her, she was jealous and wished skinny people would disappear, she became somewhat of a doormat – she was a big mousy mess.

Last summer when I lost 30+ pounds, I started finding my old self again, except that I think I was more concerned how everyone else saw me – Look at me! Look at what I’ve done! This time around (I gained back about 15 pounds over the winter and started losing again this summer), I’m more concerned with how I see me. I’m finally starting to recognize those shoulders, my hands and feet are more familiar now, and my waist is slowly but surely starting to look like the waist I (and my husband) know and love. I know this person. I know what to expect from this person – she’s funny and loves to laugh out loud (really loud cackling laughs), and she genuinely wants everyone to be happy. I know this woman, I like this woman, I feel comfortable with this woman.

So there I was, driving down the road and this song comes on. And it pretty much sums up how I’ve been feeling. Here are the lyrics, and tell me if this resonates with you too.

 Let Me Be Myself lyrics

I guess i just got lost being someone else,
I tried to kill the pain
But nothing ever helped
I left myself behind
Somewhere along the way
Hoping to come back around
and find myself some day

Lately I’m so tired of waiting for you
To say that it’s OK, tell me please
Would you one time,
Let Me Be Myself
So i can shine,
with my own light
Let Me Be Myself

Would you Let Me Be Myself
Coz I’ll never find my heart
Behind someone else
I’ll never see the light of day
Living in this cell
It’s time to make my way
Into the world i knew
And take back all of these times
That I gave in to you

Lately I’m so tired of waiting for you
To say that it’s OK, tell me please
Would you one time,
Let Me Be Myself
So i can shine,
with my own light
Let Me Be Myself,
For a while
If you don’t mind,
Let Me Be Myself
So i can shine,
with my own light
Let Me Be Myself

That’s all i ever wanted from this world
Was to let me be me..

Please, would you one time,
Let Me Be Myself
So i can shine,
with my own light
Let Me Be Myself
Please, would you one time,
Let Me Be Myself
So i can shine,
with my own light
Let Me Be Myself,
For a while
If you don’t mind,
Let Me Be Myself
So i can shine,
with my own light
Let Me Be Myself

I loved this song, so I found the video…and now I REALLY love this song! Check it out to see why!! 😉

Isn’t that hilarious and sad all at the same time?!

Have a great day y’all!

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7 thoughts on “Let me be myself

  1. I experienced the same phenoma with the self confidence. Weight up – self confidence down.

    I wish I had been able to feel confident at any weight, but it was really difficult. Now that I’ve been where I am for a long time, the self confidence level is much easier to maintain.

    Good for you on working on the inside and the outside at the same time. They are both equally important.

  2. I love that my nowhusband says the first thing he noticed about me was my WALK.

    Id just lost some weight when we met and TOTALLY was finding my inner confidence….

  3. You’ve said it so well! I feel so light-hearted these days. I no longer have all this negative self-talk weighing me down. I’m able to concentrate more on other people, laugh more, listen more… just get down to the business of life, without a lot of inner dialog about myself. I’m glad to be rid of me!

  4. “Let me ‘splain…”–LOVE the Princess Bride reference!

    Great post girl. I was fat for so long, I forgot who the skinny girl was. I still feel my collar bones while I’m sitting at my desk & wonder at them. I love seeing the bones & tendons in my feet, too. Weird huh? But they were buried for so long I didn’t even remember they were there.

  5. there are 10 simple tips that you can practice in order to achieve the dream of:

    1. Set your goals slowly. Get decrease in the range of 0.5kg to 1kg per week.
    2. Can take supplements such as Glutamine each day after exercise session.
    3. Reduce the intake of food or drink sweet (sugar content high).
    4. Just eat fruit instead.
    5. Drinks more mineral water and do not drink alcoholic beverages.
    6. Set the time you eat each day.
    7. Eat in the dining area and not in front of the tv.
    8. Familiarize themselves with the smaller plates when eating.
    9. Fill your days with doing certain activities to avoid fun thought of food.
    10. Make sure you get adequate rest. For example bedtime. Sleep in 6 to 8 hours a day.

    You can follow all this tips to get more ideal body, visits here to more info..

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