bored bored bored

Wow, time flies when you don’t have much to blog about! I haven’t really had much to say lately, hence the lack of posting. I did read an interesting “success story” on Calorie Count the other day – a woman was telling about how she lost weight by tracking her calories and she said that her success came when she finally recognized that her ability to sense hunger and fullness were out of whack, and that she kept her portions under control by tracking her calories. She didn’t seem bitter about it; she just accepted that this is the way life is for her – almost like a condition she had to treat. If she was going to maintain her weight loss, she would have to watch her portions for the rest of her life. She’s to the point now that she doesn’t have to physically track her calories every day, but she does keep a mental tally most of the time. This was kind of an eye opener for me because I feel like my sense of hunger and fullness is out of whack as well and if I want to keep losing weight and maintain that loss, I’m going to have to track my calories too. If I had diabetes, I’d have to treat the condition, or if I had problems with my thyroid, I’d have to treat the condition, or if I had mental problems (shut up!), I’d have to treat the condition, so I’m looking at this losing-weight-business as a condition that I have to treat. Instead of kicking and screaming and pouting because I can’t eat whatever I want in the massive quantities I want, I’m trying to shift my thinking into “right now, my condition is being overweight and I have to treat it in whatever way necessary to make it better.”

When I went for my weigh-in last Thursday, I was at 165. So it looks like I lost 5 pounds, but like I said, my first weigh in was in jeans, so really I think I only lost a couple of pounds – but hey, I’ll take it.

Here are my weight loss goals:

Mini goal – 162

Short term goal – 159

Mid term goal – 150

Long term goal – 130

Yep. That’s right, 130 pounds is my ultimate goal. For my height and weight and build, this is the weight where I feel most comfortable. Of course I haven’t been this weight in about 15 years, but we all need something to shoot for, right? And if I get to 145 and decide I’m done, well, then I’ll be done. I’m not going to cry if I never see 130 again, but I won’t lie, it would be nice to be sitting in the 130’s again.

I’ve also decided that in addition to planning out my meals and tracking calories, I need to plan out my day. I got off work an hour early on Friday and when I got home, the kids were on a day trip with the babysitter and Shawn was still working – no one home but me. I walked around the house and literally did not know what to do with myself. You know how sometimes you get bored and you don’t want to do ANYTHING? That’s how I felt Friday evening. I had a ton of laundry to do, the house needed to be picked up, I had bills I needed to pay, I needed to work out, I needed to make a shopping list, but I didn’t do any of that. I didn’t even feel like reading a book. I just kinda walked around feeling out of sorts. I did grab my camera and take some pictures with the intention of posting them here, but then I didn’t even feel like doing that. I had all the time in the world to do whatever I wanted, and I didn’t want to do anything, so I just watched TV. I wasted 7 hours doing nothing, and I didn’t feel good about it. So Saturday I was very productive, I even did 45 minutes on the elliptical, but then yesterday after church, once again, I did a whole lot of nothing. I took two naps, and watched movies all afternoon into the evening. I just felt so unmotivated to do anything, and I hate it when I feel like that. I feel like I’m wasting the precious time God has given me here on earth. Yes, I know that resting is good, but don’t you have to actually DO something in order to deserve a rest? I think that if I plan a to-do list for after work and on weekends, I’ll be able to get more accomplished, instead of just winging it and hoping everything gets done.

My goal for this week is to not be such a slouch, and to figure out a routine for weeknights and Friday nights – those are the times when I am tempted to succumb to the calling of the couch.

7 thoughts on “bored bored bored

  1. Congratulations on the weight loss and your goals (I like!).

    When I got pregnant with 12 year old, I weighed 130 pounds – so I hear you on wanting to see that weight on the scale again. But, the lowest weight I ever got post baby, was around 147 and I look back now and see old photos from me at that weight, and I looked good and healthy . . . not fat, though, of course, at that time, I was frustrated because I didn’t weigh 130 pounds. Grrr.

    Anyway, I know my afterschool schedule was so hectic and I do not currently work – so I can only imagine how tired you are working full-time with three children. Rest is needed (said the lady who watched 5 hours straight of the Housewives of New Jersey on Saturday and the ENTIRE Lonesome Dove miniseries on Sunday. . . ahem.)

    1. I missed the last half of Lonesome Dove! We watched the first of it on Friday night, but I’m sure it will be on again (and again and again!).

      Yeah, that 130 goal is my ultimate superduper goal weight, but like I said if (when) I get to 145, I’ll see how things are going and reevaluate then.

      How are you doing? 🙂

  2. This is where I’m different! I don’t accept any condition, I want to be healed. All of those conditions you mentioned are completely reversible through proper nutrition. That’s what I mean when I talk about health – being healthy in every conceivable way.

    Good luck with the goals!

  3. When you start tracking your food, you might uncover some vitamin or nutrient that you are deficient in…it did for me. I know that I have to work at getting enough iron and vitamin e every single day.

  4. kudos on setting your goals. it’s truly amazing when we recap our food intake and our activity for the day. it’s our own truths that tell us and shows us why we don’t reach them. best of luck!

  5. Yup, Jill, you know I think like you do. I also think that this ‘weight problem’ is a condition, or an addiction–whatever you want to call it. But something that we have to work darn hard at. We have to think about it all the time. I have to laugh now, but yesterday I went to the hotel lobby to get coffee, and I saw a good looking donut there. I stared at it for a long time, weighing the options, then walked away, and then when I got to the door, I turned around and went back to get the donut, and then stood there another long time fighting with myself about it. And I finally left without the donut. But good grief, do ‘normal’ people have to do that?

    And, as far as being bored, I just read another C.S. Lewis quote where he talked about the normal ‘undulations’ in human life–ebb and flow, troughs and peaks–in all areas of our life–affection for friends, interest in work, physical appetites–all naturally go up and down. This really spoke to me, because when a down period happens, I tend to think its permanent, or, like you, I think its just because there is something wrong with me. Its a good reminder that even though it seems like we are wasting time, it is a natural part of being a human.

    Whew, well there’s a blog entry I don’t have to write LOL!!

    And, your weight loss goals have inspired me! There’s something powerful about writing something down.

  6. Oooh – Debby, good comment!

    Jill, I’ve had that “at loose ends” feeling before. It’s not fun. Especially for a to do list addict like myself. And I hate giving that much power to the TV, unless the TV is backgrond for something productive (working on my crossstitch, folding laundry, etc).

    This too shall pass.

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