Wow, time flies when you don’t have much to blog about! I haven’t really had much to say lately, hence the lack of posting. I did read an interesting “success story” on Calorie Count the other day – a woman was telling about how she lost weight by tracking her calories and she said that her success came when she finally recognized that her ability to sense hunger and fullness were out of whack, and that she kept her portions under control by tracking her calories. She didn’t seem bitter about it; she just accepted that this is the way life is for her – almost like a condition she had to treat. If she was going to maintain her weight loss, she would have to watch her portions for the rest of her life. She’s to the point now that she doesn’t have to physically track her calories every day, but she does keep a mental tally most of the time. This was kind of an eye opener for me because I feel like my sense of hunger and fullness is out of whack as well and if I want to keep losing weight and maintain that loss, I’m going to have to track my calories too. If I had diabetes, I’d have to treat the condition, or if I had problems with my thyroid, I’d have to treat the condition, or if I had mental problems (shut up!), I’d have to treat the condition, so I’m looking at this losing-weight-business as a condition that I have to treat. Instead of kicking and screaming and pouting because I can’t eat whatever I want in the massive quantities I want, I’m trying to shift my thinking into “right now, my condition is being overweight and I have to treat it in whatever way necessary to make it better.”

When I went for my weigh-in last Thursday, I was at 165. So it looks like I lost 5 pounds, but like I said, my first weigh in was in jeans, so really I think I only lost a couple of pounds – but hey, I’ll take it.

Here are my weight loss goals:

Mini goal – 162

Short term goal – 159

Mid term goal – 150

Long term goal – 130

Yep. That’s right, 130 pounds is my ultimate goal. For my height and weight and build, this is the weight where I feel most comfortable. Of course I haven’t been this weight in about 15 years, but we all need something to shoot for, right? And if I get to 145 and decide I’m done, well, then I’ll be done. I’m not going to cry if I never see 130 again, but I won’t lie, it would be nice to be sitting in the 130’s again.

I’ve also decided that in addition to planning out my meals and tracking calories, I need to plan out my day. I got off work an hour early on Friday and when I got home, the kids were on a day trip with the babysitter and Shawn was still working – no one home but me. I walked around the house and literally did not know what to do with myself. You know how sometimes you get bored and you don’t want to do ANYTHING? That’s how I felt Friday evening. I had a ton of laundry to do, the house needed to be picked up, I had bills I needed to pay, I needed to work out, I needed to make a shopping list, but I didn’t do any of that. I didn’t even feel like reading a book. I just kinda walked around feeling out of sorts. I did grab my camera and take some pictures with the intention of posting them here, but then I didn’t even feel like doing that. I had all the time in the world to do whatever I wanted, and I didn’t want to do anything, so I just watched TV. I wasted 7 hours doing nothing, and I didn’t feel good about it. So Saturday I was very productive, I even did 45 minutes on the elliptical, but then yesterday after church, once again, I did a whole lot of nothing. I took two naps, and watched movies all afternoon into the evening. I just felt so unmotivated to do anything, and I hate it when I feel like that. I feel like I’m wasting the precious time God has given me here on earth. Yes, I know that resting is good, but don’t you have to actually DO something in order to deserve a rest? I think that if I plan a to-do list for after work and on weekends, I’ll be able to get more accomplished, instead of just winging it and hoping everything gets done.

My goal for this week is to not be such a slouch, and to figure out a routine for weeknights and Friday nights – those are the times when I am tempted to succumb to the calling of the couch.