The Fear – it drives me.

So, I had a revelation this morning. I was browsing the forums on Calorie Count and the question was posed: “How do you reward yourself for your weight loss efforts?” There were a lot of the same answers – massage, new clothes, mani/pedi, etc, but there were also some really different ideas too, such as the woman who pays her 10 year old daughter to keep her on track with work outs. She pays her daughter $10 a week to remind her to work out 5 days a week and track her cals 5 days a week. Other people said their reward was knowing that they did a certain number of work outs in a week and still others didn’t use any rewards at all. A few people said they base their rewards on the number of times they worked out, instead of on the number of pounds lost, which I thought was really smart. You can check out the whole thing here.

A reward system doesn’t really work for me, especially if it involves the spending of money. I’m a cheap frugal gal and usually by the time I have earned a reward, I don’t want to spend the money to get it. One time I set up an elaborate goal/reward system for myself that included a reward for every 5 pounds lost. I never did reach that first 5 pounds so I never got ANY of the rewards I promised myself. Dangling a bracelet in front of my face for losing weight just doesn’t seem to motivate me to get off my duff or to put down that cookie.

So what does motivate me? How did I lose 30 pounds last year? And what was that revelation I had this morning?

Thanks for asking! I’ll tell you.

As I was pondering the reward/motivation question, I realized that I am most motivated by fear of disappointment.


No really, last year when I lost weight it wasn’t because of the appetite suppressant or the daily walking – it was because I didn’t want to disappoint the Nurse Nazi or the doctor who so very generously gave me a deep discount on the program. I worked hard because I didn’t want them to be disappointed in me. And along those same lines, I worked out 4 times last week and did push ups and crunches because I didn’t want to disappoint MizFit since I am on her team for the Woman Challenge. I don’t want to be the team member who doesn’t pull her weight (hehe) during this challenge.

I know some of you will say, “what about disappointing yourself, Jill? You don’t want to disappoint yourself do you?” to which I say “HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!” I’ve disappointed myself so many times that I’m immune to my own disappointment of me (okay that was very bad grammar, but you get the point). Fear of disappointing myself is no fear at all; it’s a way of life. Yeah I know, I need therapy, but that’s what I’ve got this blog for right?!

The Woman Challenge lasts for another 7 weeks so I hope that I can keep the momentum going. I’ll have to come up with someone else to NOT disappoint after that. I need to exploit this fear to its fullest potential.

If only Jon Bon Jovi would issue a challenge to me, I’d be golden. 😉


If you lose 20 pounds, I'll write you a song, Jill.

12 thoughts on “The Fear – it drives me.

  1. Yum. Jon Bon Jovi. I could just…. !!!!

    My reward is feeling better. Sounds corny. But I like being able to do things without huffing and puffing. I want to stop taking all of my medications. I do have some clothes I’d like to get back into but not using them as any kind of motivation.

    Vee at

  2. I loved your blog. I have read your blog several times, but today it hit me in the face. I think I may use this in my blog today if I can figure out what motivates me. Bon Jovi (might
    do it)

  3. so interesting.
    and lots for me to ponder as well.
    I do think some of my work motivation is fear that my work wont end up on paper as it is in my head (writing).

    but this isnt about me 🙂

    keep moving, Sister! you can do this and Im lolloping along side you virtually.

    Miz (oh I adored your friends book. lovelove. just need to get it together to review)

    1. I loved it to! And I’m re-reading it and taking too many notes for my review, thus it is taking me waaayyy longer than I had anticipated!

  4. Well, I guess ideally we should be doing all this stuff for internal rewards, and not caring too much what others think, but hell, humans are social animals. So I totally get the “not wanting to disappoint other people” motivation. As long as you’re using it positively, and not beating yourself up with it, it sounds like it’s working!

  5. well, disappointment never worked for me, as clear from my slew of exbf’s that i stayed with.. hahaha.

    we all have to find our own way, own rewards, and hopefully we will recognize them as keys that fit into unlock our own weightloss success!!

  6. Motivation is such a tricky thing, isn’t it? I was motivated last summer by a stupid free tank top. It wasn’t the tank top, I guess–it must have been a “I wanna be included with the winners” thing. Who knows. I do know that events don’t motivate me to lose weight–a beach vacation or a half marathon, for example. If anything, they provide the perfect opportunity for me to disappointment myself, which is something I struggle with to.

    I need something new. I should have joined the Woman Challenge… oh well!

  7. Are we twins separated at birth? I totally do things for other people’s approval. I made of list of reasons to lose weight and one of mine was “My doctor will be proud of me.” No joke!

    I’m totally envious of your knitting class – what a great activity to do with your daughter! Can’t wait to hear about it.

  8. Jill, I’ve been thinking about this since I got home and read your post. And I guess what I am wondering is, is “fear of disappointing other people” different than accountability? I kept trying to think about it, and I think when I say I am accountable to someone, to me it mostly means I don’t want to disappoint them. What do you think?

  9. checking back in on you GIRLIE.

    ohh and now that Im typing this Im thinking/wondering if there is a FUNFABWAY we could do the review the same day?
    blast the net.
    make it a dual post!

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