“I am active, healthy, fit and trim. I am active, healthy, fit and trim. I am active, healthy, fit, and trim.”

This was the mantra I fell asleep to last night after a few rough minutes with myself in the boxing ring. I was giving myself a pretty bad beating about my eating habits and how I’m well on the road to being fat again, etc etc etc. And then I decided that abusing myself wasn’t going to help, so I started to speak the words that I want to be true. The sentence above is how I want to see myself: active, healthy, fit, and trim. I woke up repeating these words to myself this morning, and I’m going to continue saying them all day long until I start to believe it.

I’m at a point where I literally have to take things hour by hour. The 8 hours of my work day aren’t a problem because at 6:00 in the morning when I’m packing my lunch, I’m not craving cake or cookies. Early in the morning, I’m all about what’s healthy – I’m not held captive by the sweets in my pantry. Why does it change 10 hours later? Why, at 4pm do I suddenly become a raving lunatic and face-plant into the nearest confection? I don’t get it…do you?

Anyway, in the evenings I’m going to have to go hour by hour and really watch my intake. Remember how I made a list of goals that I was going to hang on my fridge? Well, I never did that, and look where it’s gotten me. So I am going to revise and reprint that list, and today when I get home it’s going up. For some reason, I don’t like having to explain myself to my husband and kids, and they will surely ask questions if I put up a list of goals. I guess I just need to get over it and tell them that these are the things I’m working on and not to bother me about it. My kids see me working out, but I have avoided telling Sarah (my 8 year old) that I want to lose weight. I don’t want to infect her with my weight issues, so I just don’t talk about it at all, which I don’t think is a good solution but I haven’t decided how to approach it with her.

I’m excited about the Woman Challenge and lots of people have signed up to be on Team MizFit. This is one reason decided to work out last night instead of watching American Idol, so it must be working! My goals for the challenge are very simple: work out 3x a week and do some sort of muscle building exercise 2x a week. That’s it. At this point if I can do that consistently for 8 weeks, I’ll be a happy camper.

I am Active Healthy Fit and Trim. I am Active Healthy Fit and Trim. I am Active Healthy Fit and Trim. Dear God please let it sink in!