Wish I were There!

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So, after my little freak out Saturday night, I woke up with a sugar hangover: full, bloated, and headachy. It took awhile to get back to normal, but I finally went to the store last night and stocked up on fruit so I could make a big bowl of fruit salad to munch on. Strawberries, blueberries, and pineapples have never looked so beautiful!

It drives me crazy that after everything I have read, researched, and blogged about I still have days where I act like such a moron. I mean really, you would think I would know better by now, but apparently not. My freak out of choice this time was various types of Little Debbie snack cakes: Swiss Rolls and Nutty Bars to be exact. I think there was one other one, but I can’t remember what it was. I haven’t eaten these things in probably years, and so I guess that’s why when I bought them, I thought it would be no big deal to have them in the house. I was wrong. I took one bite of my daughter’s snack and proceeded to swan dive over the edge.

What strikes me as funny is that my kids have no problem with these snacks. They take them in their lunches to school or have one in the afternoon, but they aren’t held captive to them (or to any food really) like I am. I guess it’s a good thing they haven’t picked up on my neurosis (yet).

I think though, that I am going to go back to keeping homemade treats in the house, and really start experimenting with healthy versions of our favorite snacks. I cannot afford to go crazy again like I did Saturday.

In the comments of that post, Debby said something that I’ve been thinking about a lot and this also relates to what Laura said in those same comments: Debby said she is never satisfied with cookies – she always wants more. I had never thought of it that way – that I wanted more because I wasn’t satisfied. I always thought that they were SO satisfying that I had to have more! But what Debby says makes perfect sense. I want more because I’m not SATISFIED. Dingdingding! The lightbulb goes on! And as far as what Laura was saying: anything can be turned into a binge food – this is SO very true. So maybe it wasn’t exactly the LD’s that did it, maybe that just happened to be the most readily available food at the time.

The point is, I am a work in progress, and that progress is not going to go in a straight line. As much as I hate to admit it, I am going to go take more detours than I would like, but God willing, I will get there one day. And where is there? There is a place where I can look at a cookie and not HAVE to devour it. There is a place where working out becomes a natural part of my day – not something I have to force myself to do. There is a place where I can feel good about my choices most days. That’s where I want to be. I want to be there. Does such a place even exist? If it does, and if you live there, can you please draw me a map? Or at least send me a postcard? Thanks that’d be great.

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9 thoughts on “Wish I were There!

  1. You have your Little Debbies, I was plagued by the 100 calorie snack packs….any kind would do. Both kinda sit on the shelf and taunt you, don’t they? We know we’re off the wagon, but continue to drive that wagon ’til it’s wheels fall off. And if anyone sends you the map for success, send it along to the rest of us. PLEASE!!!!

  2. Oh yes, I’m also one of the zigzaggy line people! We learn as we go along!

    I must say, that is a major breakthrough – they are just not that satisfying! That’s why you have to have more… Intellectually I think I knew that, but emotionally it’s just hit me! Thanks!

  3. Send you a postcard, you crack me up. I’m glad you are feeling better. I think “there” is somewhere we arrive at, & then maybe depart from once in a while. Like, we get “there” then take a mini break at Crazyland. Then we come to our senses & go back home to “there.”

    Anyway, it ain’t over. Far from it. Hope your week is a good one!

    My race was good; the after part was hard. Go read my blog, it’s finally posted. xoxo

  4. You DO crack me up, Jill. I want to be there too. More than that, I want to meet and follow around the person who is there. Do you think Miz is there? And if she is, do you think she would notice us following her around?

    It’s kinda the same as my spiritual life. I want to find someone who is ‘there’ and follow them around, and see if they never have temptations, and if they always love people and love God and they always think the best about others, and they automatically do everything from a pure heart. Really, is there such a person? I really want to see them. Mother Teresa is dead. Did she never have a bad day? Is there anyone else out there?

    Tomorrow is my weigh in (yes, my P.T. weighs me) and I am so afraid I won’t lose any weight…one cookie too many, I’m afraid.

    • I don’t think Miz would mind if we followed her around. In fact I think she would link arms with us and we would go skipping down the street a la Wizard of Oz. 🙂

      And I really think spiritually, Jesus is probably the only one who is full on “there”. Everyone else is human, go figure.

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