The Awful Truth

The awful truth is that I have gained 10 pounds since December. My lowest weight of 153 was reached in October and I stayed there for 2 months until Christmas. The Christmas Carnage of Holiday Treats began and didn’t end until February 15th. At first I thought, “It’s okay, I’ll get this weight off in no time.” Well, “no time” has come and gone and I’m left with 10 extra pounds. This weight of 163 is no stranger to me. It’s the weight I lived at for years, YEARS people, until I jacked it up during my Intuitive Eating phase (jacked it all the way up to 186). This is the weight that I swore I would never go back to ever again EVER because my new weight of 153 was so wonderful and full of happy times!!! Sigh. But here I am again at this all too familiar weight. The weight that makes me look like frumpy-dumpy-mom, and leaves me tired and sluggish. I hate, nay…loathe this weight and all its implications. This weight implies that I am back to my old ways and eating habits – and the implications are unfortunately true.I must confess that right now my judgement is clouded by PMS, so anything I say here could change drastically on Thursday when Aunt Flo arrives. Just so ya know…

Anyway, when I saw that 163 was determined to stay, I looked wistfully at the numbers to the left of the needle. Those are the numbers I fell in love with. Oh 153, how good you made me feel!! I was confident and energetic and my size 12s fit perfectly! I want to go back to left side of the needle!!! I want the 150’s to be my home again!!

I’m heading west…west of the needle that is. I’m going to do it by eating no more than 1800 cals per day and exercising no less than 4 days per week. I’ll log my food into FitDay and work out on the elliptical or by running as often as I can. I’ll get back to my former glory some how, some way.

And speaking of running, I have signed up to run the K9K race in 3 weeks with my friend Sherrill. We ran a 5k together many many years ago and decided we needed to do it again, so we chose this one because we know the course and plus it’s really just an excuse for us to get together and chat! Not that we’ll be able to chat above all the huffing and puffing, but afterward we’ll have plenty of time to catch up. I’m excited and nervous all at the same time. I know I won’t be able to run the whole thing, heck I probably won’t be able to run even half of it, but that’s okay. Maybe this is what I need to kick it in gear and lose the rest of this weight (and keep it off).

I’m still reading blogs, just not commenting so much lately because my time is so limited. I’m still cheering you all on and hopefully things will even out soon so I can have more time to blog. This work thing is really getting in the way of my hobbies!

Take care, ya’ll.

9 thoughts on “The Awful Truth

  1. Good for you for focusing on yourself. You can do this, Jill! I have copied your workout minutes in the sidebar idea, hope you don’t mind–in fact, hope you see this for what it is. You are helping me. Your struggle is my struggle and I’m right there with you. We’re gonna conquer this beast!

  2. Ugh – so sorry that you are dealing with this. I’m in my non-ideal decade on the scale as well. Yuck! Hopefully the spring sunshine will spur us on to weight loss victory. I know you can find your old friend 153 again!!!!!

  3. First, congrats and WOOHOO for signing up for the race! It will be very motivating & fun, too.

    And girl, I am just where you are. My magic weight of 146 seems so long ago. My muffin top is back with a vengence & my butt no longer looks cute–it’s just “wide load” city. What sucks is it seems like such a small amount to lose, doesn’t it? It’s only 10 pounds!!!! What the hell. Well, it’s 10 pounds my body does not want to surrender.

    All I can say is–we aren’t giving up. I’m not buying new clothes. I’m not giving in. Someday, I’ll be able to say that my body loves 146 & it won’t go back down to the glorious 136 I stayed at for a day and a half. Some day. Some day soon.

    I updated my blog with my doctor report. I’m not crazy or going mental–the increase in wellbutrin can actually cause anxiety to be worse. It helps with depression but too much of that med can cause people with anxiety to feel much, much worse. Which makes perfect sense. And I’m just glad there’s an explanation & I’m not a mental case. Switching to lexapro & praying I don’t gain weight from it. And praying the anxiety does, indeed, get back to “normal.”

    Hang in there! Your new plan will work. It will it will!!!!!

  4. Jill, I’ve been there. I seriously feel your pain. But keep in mind that perhaps a few pounds are water related (in light of Aunt Flo). Don’t get too discouraged! You are going to feel like a champ after the K9K 🙂

    I believe in you!

  5. Hi Jill. Commenting a little late…I’m with you on the 10 frustrating pounds. But I do have one question for both of us: is it the increased weight that makes us ‘tired and sluggish’ or is it the food choices we make to get us to that weight? I don’t have an answer, just one of the many things I think about…you know how I’m always working to ‘be content in whatever state I am in.’

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