Reunited (and it feels so good)

This post has nothing to do with exercising or losing weight or food or any of that, so if you want to skip it, go ahead.  You won’t hurt my feelings.


The hubs and I have hit a rough patch the last few weeks (months) and things were getting pretty tense and miserable at the homestead.  Things finally came to a head early this week and we had a good fight, then a good talk, and then we kissed and made up, and kissed and made up some more ;). 


The problem?  A very common one – we took each other for granted, and stopped putting each other first.  He was caught up in his work and his hobbies, and I was caught up in work and the kids and the house and the laundry and church and everything else.  I had thrust him to the bottom of my list and thought he was okay with that.


He wasn’t. 


Like I said, we had a good talk and made some compromises, and promised each other that we would make time for us.  I get the kids to bed a little earlier in the evening and he has cut back on his hobbies, and it has made all the difference in the world. Remembering that we are still a couple within a family has helped us reconnect on a deeper level.


My point in mentioning this is to remind all of you to not take for granted the ones you love.  We’ve all heard it before, but I think we need a reminder once in a while.  Do something nice for your husband and see if it doesn’t affect you as well.  It makes everything seem a little easier when you remember that the one you love is on your side in the midst of the chaos. 

10 thoughts on “Reunited (and it feels so good)

  1. This sounds all too familiar…we recently went through the same thing. The distractions of course were a little different for us but none-the less they were there. I started to feel like we were more like roommates than a husband and wife living together. But we recognized it, talked about it, and talked about it some more and more. lol. For us we are working on the process of rediscovering each others interests and exploring them together.
    Thanks for the post!!!

  2. This strikes home big time. We have gone through the same thing, several times. You’d think the fact that we work together would make us closer–it doesn’t. Yes, we see each other slightly more often than before we worked together, but it’s not quality time and in fact can sometimes make things worse. I was kind of like you– if he wasn’t complaining, I figured it was OK that I was swamped and gave everything I had to the kids & house & work & myself, and he just got what was left. Turns out I have a sensitive person for a husband and he doesn’t like being put last! Just like your hubs.

    It’s great to hear you two have worked through this. I know many couples must have the same problems. Thanks for posting about it! Enjoy your weekend.

  3. Been there, done that. Oh wait…I AM there NOW!

    it’s so hard to juggle everything that needs juggling. Thanks for the GREAT reminder!

    Off go go make amends with hubby……


  4. Ditto, ditto & ditto…
    Been there, still there, really hard to break the cycle. We run a business together and we don’t have a steady income, so keeping the bills paid is unfortunately priority one at the moment. The economy is soooo bad right now, I have to spend oodles of time trying to keep work coming in and he gets to sit and play on the computer. Somethings gotta give sooner or later I’m sure.

  5. so very true (and so not a skipping post).

    been there (and thisclose to an ugly outcome) and worked through that.
    and now try to work through it on a DAILY CONNECTING BASIS.

    I love when people say: you need to take care of your relationship as you do your CAR.

    bad parallel for me.
    my car is always a wreck and ALWAYS needs an oil change.

  6. What a good post Jill. I am glad you shared it. Hey maybe this will be your new ‘passion.’ “Jill, the Thin Marriage Healer.” Well, its not a catchy title, but I’ll work on it. Seriously, the hobby thing is interesting. I see it a LOT more on the wife’s part in my world (obviously, my ‘world’ is the world of women’s hobbies.)

  7. Debby – I like it, I like it. Don’t know that I really have any right to call myself a marriage healer, but hey, I can’t do any worse than Dr. Phil!! (he bugs the crap outta me, btw)

  8. I do think that not taking each other for granted is one of the secrets of a long lasting relationship.

    It’s one of the few things in life I’m extra careful about, and so’s my gal, and it’s made for an amazingly happy relationship so far. (17 years; lots to feel grateful for).

    Glad you two worked through it!

  9. Hi, Jill. I just read this post, and it reminded me of the movie I just saw this weekend, called “Fireproof.” It’s at the regular theatres but you kinda have to look for it–I don’t think it’ll be out much longer. It’s totally ab/ this whole subject and an EXCELLENT commentary on things you can do for each other, etc. It was made by a Christian organization, so it brings the Bible into the whole thing. I highly recommend it.

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