154

Yep.  That’s the latest number to come out of the doctor’s scale on Friday. 

That’s also the number that I got down to 3 years ago before I face-planted into a pan of Neiman Marcus brownies and didn’t come up for air until 20 pounds later. 

Why the face-plant?  Well, that go-round, I had been losing weight for various “events” in my life: a family reunion, vacation, 10th wedding anniversary, a wedding, etc.   Then all of a sudden I was out of events, and hence, out of reasons to keep losing weight.   I just couldn’t find the motivation to keep going, and I was Just. So. Tired. of counting Points that when the holidays rolled around, I went Ka-ra-zee.  It started with Halloween and didn’t stop until January.  I stayed at around 167 pounds for a long time after that, until I toyed with intuitive eating and gained another 20 pounds earlier last year. 

This time, I’m not losing weight for anyone or anything, other than my own satisfaction.  I have to admit, it’s nice when something comes around that I know I’ll be seeing people whom I haven’t seen in a while (like last Thursday night’s high school football game – I still love it when people have that shocked look on their faces!).  But I’m not actively looking at my calendar thinking that I need to lose x amount of pounds in x amount of time so I can look good at such-and-such event (okay well there IS the 20 year reunion next year, but I’m not *actively* losing weight for that).  It feels good to just be going at my own pace and not worrying whether or not I’ll be at a mini-goal or whatever.  I’m not saying it doesn’t work, I’m just saying it doesn’t work so well FOR ME. 

I’m averaging a 4-5 pound loss per month (and it usually happens all in one week, weird I know), and I am totally good with that, so I’m going to stay this course until I get to my happy weight.  All I need is my treadmill, my big-ass bottle of water, and oh yeah, my skinny pills, and I’ll be good to keep going as long as I need to.